Help!

[TheTabster]

I need help... and I definitely need prayer.

Yesterday I posted about how God needs to be the centre of a relationship and seeking ways on how to go about that.

But, as my boyfriend and I discovered last night... things are going to be wayyyyyy more difficult than we thought.

There was one major thing I never took into account with this relationship, and that was intense spiritual warfare. I've always been taught that the bigger a threat Satan sees something as, the harder he'll attack it. And well, lets just say that he has been attacking us in a non-stop onslaught of temptation. And it scares me.

It scares me for two reasons -- one, because I've never had feelings this strong for a guy before, and I don't understand them; and two, because I'm just plain scared of how easily we both got caught up in it.

We've had to lay down some strict new rules to prevent ourselves from having the opportunity to be alone... but, I know its going to take more than just that, because while it may eliminate the possibility of physically sinning, the mental temptation and the thoughts are still going to be there.

In my heart, I believe Matt and I are going to be together for a long time. Something tells me that, something that I don't understand, but that lays this confidence on me. But, I also know that if we do not follow God, if we do not keep him in control, we are not going to make it.

I'm frightened because of how strongly I feel, and because it gives me the potential of getting hurt. Matt's scared too. I can feel it.

Last night, scared the living daylights out of both of us. I don't get upset and cry about things like that often... and alst night I cried. I got so scared, I was crying and shaking, the way I only do during intense spiritual warfare.

I don't know what to do. And I'm frightened. And I'm confused. I care about Matt deeply, and I know God wants us together... I just want to be able to do it the way God wants us too

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I need help... and I definitely need prayer.

Yesterday I posted about how God needs to be the centre of a relationship and seeking ways on how to go about that.

But, as my boyfriend and I discovered last night... things are going to be wayyyyyy more difficult than we thought.

There was one major thing I never took into account with this relationship, and that was intense spiritual warfare. I've always been taught that the bigger a threat Satan sees something as, the harder he'll attack it. And well, lets just say that he has been attacking us in a non-stop onslaught of temptation. And it scares me.

It scares me for two reasons -- one, because I've never had feelings this strong for a guy before, and I don't understand them; and two, because I'm just plain scared of how easily we both got caught up in it.

We've had to lay down some strict new rules to prevent ourselves from having the opportunity to be alone... but, I know its going to take more than just that, because while it may eliminate the possibility of physically sinning, the mental temptation and the thoughts are still going to be there.

In my heart, I believe Matt and I are going to be together for a long time. Something tells me that, something that I don't understand, but that lays this confidence on me. But, I also know that if we do not follow God, if we do not keep him in control, we are not going to make it.

I'm frightened because of how strongly I feel, and because it gives me the potential of getting hurt. Matt's scared too. I can feel it.

Last night, scared the living daylights out of both of us. I don't get upset and cry about things like that often... and alst night I cried. I got so scared, I was crying and shaking, the way I only do during intense spiritual warfare.

I don't know what to do. And I'm frightened. And I'm confused. I care about Matt deeply, and I know God wants us together... I just want to be able to do it the way God wants us too

First of all, you don't know that God wants the two of you together-you just feel that way. Even if you did get a word from God-it's even possible to misinterpret unless the word was very specific-I did.

When everything is great we "believe" that God wants us together and other people commenting that we make a great couple seems to confirm that. Someone here on CF even had a friend with a word of knowledge about a relationship that ended up painfully ending.

So, keep that in mind. You can't justify having sex because you "know" you're going to end up together. Your future husband will appreciate that you exercised self control. I'm not sure why you're so frightened-is it because you already know there's a good chance you're going to do something wrong? Set your boundaries and stick to them. It's hard to go back so don't keep pushing the boundaries.

 

[TheTabster]

There's no justification of sex going on. We are not going to have sex. Period the end.

We both separately got answers from God about us being together... and thats how we know at least at this moment God wants us together. We prayed separately about it after we admitted we both had feelings for each other, and did not move forward until we both got an answer.

Like I said, the biggest reason I'm scared right now is because I've never felt this way about anyone, and I've never been under such hardcore spiritual attack because of my feelings for someone.

 

[Tim114]

'love' as the human mind can understand it is a very fragile aspect of a relationship. Just having 'feelings' for another person, in my opinion doesn't sanction a future union.

For a real world example with my relationship. It's been going for three and a bit years. Last year we had a tough distance between us physically and emotionally as we are both dealing with past hurts and 'parental' opinion. Other then that and although I found it hard to 'know what I was feeling let alone what she was thinking often I would just break down to nothing.

I have made a commitment to her, I didn't promise her marriage but just that I would continue my courtship with her to further know the possibilities. Love is more then just the cloud nine 'feelings' love is a commitment and work and hard stuff to keep at. Even though we have spent three years together, sometimes I feel like we have travelled so little in our walk in courtship.

But God Bless you both and good luck, but remember to set boundaries and don't push marriage... don't make that promise it could be the fastest way to get yourself hurt. Just enjoy your time together with God and with others and that time is a gift

 

[wikawika]

Hey....i think you are definately on the right track...You are recognizing early on what you need to do and realizing just what forces you are up against...I think the best thing to do when you feel pressure setting in is to just pray. Just grab your boyfriends hand and pray. I think the hardest thing is because as christians we have this idea we need to be perfect, and that we should not be tempted by sex etc. Reality is we are human. Each and every day we have 1000's of thoughts come in our heads, but the important thing and all you can do is not act on them. You can work to renew your mind on christ and slowly it will get easier. Just take it one day at a time fighting the enemy with the best weapon - prayer.

Take Care...

 

[Johnnz]

Sure, the devil will take any opportunity he can. But your biggest problem isn't the devil. It's that sexual part of you that God created to be activated as we mature, and which draws us into heterosexual relationships. We were created to be sexual people who become sexually aroused by the someone we love of the opposite sex.

Of course, we don't just run along with desire. Sex is for marriage. But seeing normal desire in a purely spiritual dimension is a bit like putting a cork in a fizzy drink bottle. Shake it firmly and see what happens!

It will be far more realistic to acknowledge that you are two sexually mature adults, and that means you will need to set in place strict limitations on time alone. And that, as your love deepens the desire for physical intimacy will increase, again as God intends. You are not corrupt, lustful etc. Just normal people facing a big but temporary issue.

John
NZ