Hello, everybody:
My name is Allen. I've just joined the Christian Forum and am looking forward to having a great time being a member here.
This first thread I'm making isn't the kind that I wish I could make, but what I'm wanting help for is really starting to drive me insane.
I've been saved since I was 9 years old, but I've been having a hard time here for the past few months. I've been so very busy graduating high school and getting ready for college (getting ready to go to college has been a huge and tremendous hassale all on its own!). I've been working at the local music store (Lucedale Music Company) and playing in a bluegrass band. All this while going to church on Wednesday nights and preparing to teach classes for Sunday School in the morning at the same church I attend on Wednesdays, and preparing meeting schedules and materials for a Royal Rangers class to teach at another church on Sunday evenings. All that PLUS writing songs and trying to keep up with my buddy, who used to work with me at the music shop. Now, I know being this busy, working this hard, and being as stressed as I am has to have something to do with my problem.
My problem is: I'm having a hard time stopping masturbation (my spelling is horrible). Each evening before I head on off to bed it happens. I'm sick of myself. I practically hate myself, but I know that I can't do that. I know God is always here to hear my prayers and to hear my concern, but sometimes I feel that after all my heartfelt prayers, He doesn't care anymore. I sometimes feel that maybe He's had it with me and my problems. All the times I pray, I ask for forgiveness and help from Him to keep me from falling back into doing the same thing again, but every morning I wake up, I feel nothing. No peace, no happiness, no joy...I even sometimes cry out to Him when I'm praying...I feel like crying now.
Sometimes I pray and feel so happy afterwards that I feel I've overcome my sin...but yet I fall into it again.
I know I would be wrong to say that God has forsaken me, because I know that His Word says that he'll never leave me, and that He'll always be with me. But why don't I feel Him here? In me? With me? Even near me?? I can't stand it when I fall into that same nasty, ugly sin over and over again. I'm sick of it!
I believe that God has forgiven me. He knows how much I love Him. He's all I ever think about.
I'm heartbroken. I feel alone. I need help. God has a plan for me. And I'm more than ready to go on it...or so I think I am.
If anyone out there has anything that they think they can help with, please reply. I need all the help I can get, from God and from God's people.
I thank you in advance for anything you may have to say on this matter. If I don't get the chance to reply back, know this: I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
In His Name,
Allen
My name is Allen. I've just joined the Christian Forum and am looking forward to having a great time being a member here.
This first thread I'm making isn't the kind that I wish I could make, but what I'm wanting help for is really starting to drive me insane.
I've been saved since I was 9 years old, but I've been having a hard time here for the past few months. I've been so very busy graduating high school and getting ready for college (getting ready to go to college has been a huge and tremendous hassale all on its own!). I've been working at the local music store (Lucedale Music Company) and playing in a bluegrass band. All this while going to church on Wednesday nights and preparing to teach classes for Sunday School in the morning at the same church I attend on Wednesdays, and preparing meeting schedules and materials for a Royal Rangers class to teach at another church on Sunday evenings. All that PLUS writing songs and trying to keep up with my buddy, who used to work with me at the music shop. Now, I know being this busy, working this hard, and being as stressed as I am has to have something to do with my problem.
My problem is: I'm having a hard time stopping masturbation (my spelling is horrible). Each evening before I head on off to bed it happens. I'm sick of myself. I practically hate myself, but I know that I can't do that. I know God is always here to hear my prayers and to hear my concern, but sometimes I feel that after all my heartfelt prayers, He doesn't care anymore. I sometimes feel that maybe He's had it with me and my problems. All the times I pray, I ask for forgiveness and help from Him to keep me from falling back into doing the same thing again, but every morning I wake up, I feel nothing. No peace, no happiness, no joy...I even sometimes cry out to Him when I'm praying...I feel like crying now.
Sometimes I pray and feel so happy afterwards that I feel I've overcome my sin...but yet I fall into it again.
I know I would be wrong to say that God has forsaken me, because I know that His Word says that he'll never leave me, and that He'll always be with me. But why don't I feel Him here? In me? With me? Even near me?? I can't stand it when I fall into that same nasty, ugly sin over and over again. I'm sick of it!
I believe that God has forgiven me. He knows how much I love Him. He's all I ever think about.
I'm heartbroken. I feel alone. I need help. God has a plan for me. And I'm more than ready to go on it...or so I think I am.
If anyone out there has anything that they think they can help with, please reply. I need all the help I can get, from God and from God's people.
I thank you in advance for anything you may have to say on this matter. If I don't get the chance to reply back, know this: I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
In His Name,
Allen