help!

[DrAmA_Q33n]

ok so long story short: im very depressed. i dont have many friends and i cant talk to my family. when my bro told people he was depressed, they freaked out and wouldnt listen. ive tryed talking to a few people online that i meet from a diffrent christian website, but i dont feel i am getting any better

 

[FlyerBoy]

I hope you find someone on here that can help you better then I can.

 

[DrAmA_Q33n]

I hope you find someone on here that can help you better then I can.

just by being my friend........that's already more than most people have offered me, flyerboy, and for that i thank you. a lot!!!!!!!!

 

[goldenviolet]

hi do you have a counselor, pastor, teacher, anyone you can talk to and ask for prayer from?
what kinds of things do you like to do?
God loves you very much. be hopeful and search out what kinds of things will help you feel better and grow stronger. we all need to do this to get by. sometimes things are tough. i'm glad you found CF. welcome to CF!

 

[FlyerBoy]

Yeah your welcome. I just wish I could help you more. But sometimes I just don't know what to say. Or talk about.

 

[DrAmA_Q33n]

hi do you have a counselor, pastor, teacher, anyone you can talk to and ask for prayer from?
what kinds of things do you like to do?
God loves you very much. be hopeful and search out what kinds of things will help you feel better and grow stronger. we all need to do this to get by. sometimes things are tough. i'm glad you found CF. welcome to CF!

i havent been to church or youth group in like 4 weeks. and our old pastor that i trusted moved and its imposible to talk to my youth pastor alone. unless i come 2 hours early (and even then i might not get to talk to him) i dont like counclers (bad experiances w/ them) and none of my teacher like me.

what do i like to do?? hmmm......i like to listen to music, sing, act, talk, i used to like coloring before today, volleyball, and going on long walks, and im a big poetry writer.

 

[devotee]

i havent been to church or youth group in like 4 weeks. and our old pastor that i trusted moved and its imposible to talk to my youth pastor alone. unless i come 2 hours early (and even then i might not get to talk to him) i dont like counclers (bad experiances w/ them) and none of my teacher like me.

what do i like to do?? hmmm......i like to listen to music, sing, act, talk, i used to like coloring before today, volleyball, and going on long walks, and im a big poetry writer.

I like to strt my day with poetry.com, there is daily haiku contributions, and a comp to make poetry from chosen words that could also win you $100. I find it a great way to express my feelings and to be aware of how I feel, it also motivates me to write! regardless of the cash prize : )

From expereince, I have found that few people a) want to listen and or b) understand. My partner cando a) but not b). I appreciate that he will do a), he has his own issues that inhibit b). SO it is with many folks. I enjoy going on forums and answering others by drawing on my expereinces, it shows me that my crises do serve a purpose, and I find its a great way to take my mind away from stagnating thoughts.

I also volunteer, or go for a walk - I always head outdoors when I feel the blues or panic coming on. This morning I wasn feeling panicky about a job interview tomorrow (socialising, lack of references etc). Anyways I rang the Animal Shelter and asked them to come over and pick up some items that I don't use anymore, they sell them and feed and shelter those that they rescue. It kept me busy, took my mind from its rut, introduced me to a 72yo who volunteers three times a week after two heart attacks (inspiring!) and I have less crap in my house and my mind. Oh, and some kitties and puppies will be getting some more pillows to sleep on.

We all need to wander in the wilderness for a while every now and then, the key is to learn how to step back to this world, and to share what is learnt in that wilderness.

Also, a lotus can't grow without mud.

Hope this helps

 

[Annoula]

depression is something that not all people can handle. i mean it's seems such a big load for one to sit down and listen to a person who is depressed.

the problem is we don't understand that a person with depression is not interested in advice on how to get better.

i believe a friendly ear and a gentle hug are sometimes invaluable.

you can find both of these in here friend!

keep in mind that you are not alone. God is watching you and is sending you people that can be there for you. just try to keep your eyes open and allow them to be there for you.

God bless you!

 

[Mayflower1]

Dear DrAmA, I will sure pray for you. Many here know what you are going through and it is hard but not impossible to get through. I can already tell that you are strong and with God you can get through this. Talking is the best way and if you ever need to pm me, feel free. Lily00

 

[newyorknewyork]

hi, i hope you feel better soon!

can u see a doctor ?

or talk to a pastor at a local church?

or go see a counsellor or psychologist.. they are very helpful!

 

[DrAmA_Q33n]

hi, i hope you feel better soon!

can u see a doctor ?

or talk to a pastor at a local church?

or go see a counsellor or psychologist.. they are very helpful!

i dont trust councelers or pycholgist.....bad experiances with them

 

[VVV]

ok so long story short: im very depressed. i dont have many friends and i cant talk to my family. when my bro told people he was depressed, they freaked out and wouldnt listen. ive tryed talking to a few people online that i meet from a diffrent christian website, but i dont feel i am getting any better

I am sorry I can't send you a simple, magic bullet to fix it all. Glad you are writing about this problem, it is good to discuss your options with others. Writing also crystallizes in your mind what needs to be done to live life anew. Without this recognition, we don't even know what is wrong, so have no clue as to which direction to take.

Living an unbalanced life really contributed to my depression. Stress and depression go hand in hand, then we get sick from the stress and the depression and stress just gets worse and it becomes a death spiral. We can define stress as "a state that evokes effort on the part of the individual to maintain or restore equilibrium." The 2 R's are important to remember when it comes to stress management. They are Reduce stress and Relationship to stress. Reducing stress is the number one tool at our disposal. After we reduce what we can then we must work on how we relate to stress that cannot be reduced or eliminated. A life of voluntary simplicity has helped me greatly in this area of stress reduction. In terms of relating to stress, my Buddhist and Taoist practices as well as my 12 step work support me in this area. They help me accept or change the problem...then it is solved either way. Tired of being angry? Just relinquish control and anger will be diminished. Anger and control go hand in hand. I discuss this topic in an earlier post "Justified Anger"

Meditation and mindfulness helped calm my mind. A constantly busy kind cannot heal itself. Joining the simple living movement help make time for me to meditate and relax. Without time for contemplative practices and relaxation I am sunk. This is an almost top necessity for me. I tell those that say they have no time to relax to get into voluntary simplicity. If you can't keep up, scale back until you can keep up. I need to eat right and sleep right and exercise right as well. Many foods help trigger crazy thinking and can lead to depression, especially the salty and chemical rich, artificial factory foods. This is much easier to see once we clean up our diet and our thinking.

Besides nutrition and getting the proper vitamins I have to work in spiritual areas as well. I need a balanced way to live right - not 100% spiritual and not 100% physical, but need to blend the two seamlessly for proper recovery. 12 step work as well as personal religious and spiritual studies helped me in this area. We are spiritual beings in a physical body living in a physical world so we are governed by both spiritual as well as physical or natural laws. So, we must never forget to work in both areas. In short, we have to live right and not work against the natural laws as well as spiritual laws that govern us if we want hopes for a new life. I am lucky to be able to recover in these areas using natural methods. Other persons suffering from depression might have a chemical imbalance in the brain and need medical advice and special medications. If this is the case, it is a matter of doing the footwork in all these medical areas to find out what can be done. Depression can stem from many areas but once thing is for sure, If we dedicate ourselves to work on getting better and making a better life for us we can almost always improve our life in a positive direction and make progress...but it takes work on our part to make these changes happen.


Good luck,



V (Male)

A xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx living a life of Voluntary Simplicity and grateful recovering Debtor, Drug, Alcohol and Substance Abuser, Compulsive Overeater, Clutterer, Hoarder, Rageaholic, Speculative Gambler, Compulsive Spender, Sex and Sensation Addict.

 

[Frangible]

Well I think I might be able to identify one thing that might be exacerbating your depression: lack of social support. You say you have no one to talk to. As God Himself said, it is not good for man to be alone. If you can get involved in more things, perhaps church or other local activities, that can give you something to focus on and new people to meet.

 

[DrAmA_Q33n]

Well I think I might be able to identify one thing that might be exacerbating your depression: lack of social support. You say you have no one to talk to. As God Himself said, it is not good for man to be alone. If you can get involved in more things, perhaps church or other local activities, that can give you something to focus on and new people to meet.

its kinda hard for me to meet new people because after my dad died, i quit socializing. i completly isolated my self from the rest of the world. Then we moved, and i didt know anyone. becides, it doesnt seem like anyone in my new town wants to be my friends anyway

 

[Frangible]

its kinda hard for me to meet new people because after my dad died, i quit socializing. i completly isolated my self from the rest of the world. Then we moved, and i didt know anyone. becides, it doesnt seem like anyone in my new town wants to be my friends anyway

Yeah social isolation is definately going to cause or exacerbate depression in pretty much anyone. Connecting with people isn't easy, I too was very much isolated for a long time, but you can do it. And the reason they don't want to be your friend is because you're isolated and they don't know you! Get involved in activities and talk to them. Ask them questions, show interest and empathy. Just like you, everyone else out there wants someone who will listen to and understand them. I ordered a few self-help books off Amazon to help me get started here that helped, but the bottomline is simply talking to people and shifting your focus externally.

Everyone else out there is a broken, flawed person too-- they're not all in ideal happy perfect lives. And I bet you wouldn't have to talk to too many people before you found someone who was pretty happy to have someone talking to them and listening to them. Find just a couple people who reciprocate, and I'd say you wouldn't get to call yourself isolated anymore.

It's hard at first, so just start by reciprocating yourself when people initiate conversation with you-- even if it's small talk. Return a smile. That kinda thing.