Help!

[Ave Maria]

I didn't know how else to title my thread. Lately, God has blessed me in quite a few ways. Some major, some minor. However, I have also experienced a number of difficulties/conflicts and these are dragging me down. I am under treatment for moderate Major Depression. I take 20mg of Lexapro a day and it does help me but for the past few days, I've been getting quite depressed.

First, there was the stress of my sister moving back to town. I wanted to her to move back to town because she previously lived about 25 miles away and that made it hard for me to go see her often due to my car. But anyway, I had to take them Nathan, my brother-in-law (her husband), to the grocery store the other day because they hadn't yet got their food to their new place. It seemed like it took him forever to get out of the grocery store and we had to go to two different stores to get what he needed. Unfortunately, this was about the time when my cough (see the Unwell icon) was getting worse again so I didn't feel like being out during the evening when it was starting to get cold and was windy I think. This was on Friday.

Then on Saturday, I don't remember exactly what all happened but I was getting more sick and my toilet started leaking so I have to have my landlord look at it. Unfortunately, I have to clean my apartment first because it's kinda messy. That's another thing, I haven't felt like cleaning it because I've been sick for the past 3 weeks with the flu or a respiratory infection or something.

Then today (technically yesterday), I went to my Grandma's house for dinner and they was having catfish (which I don't like) and so she gave me a little money to go to McDonalds to eat. This was no big deal and my Grandma willingly gave it to me.

Only thing is, later in the day, I took my sister to the laundromat with her two children who are 13-14 months and 4. They was running around and it was cute watching them have fun but it was also stressful at the same time.

We finally got to leave after about an hour and half to two hours. Unfortunately, as we left, it was rainy outside and I noticed oil coming out from under my car on the wet pavement. It was a really misty-rainy sort of day so the pavement was wet and I could see the oil on the pavement. So I checked my oil before we left the laundromat and unfortunately, it was about 1/4 quart low. This is a bad thing because my car has been in the shop three different times already to try and fix the oil leak. I am sincerely hoping that it isn't leaking and that it was just because the car may have still been a little warm and had some oil up inside the engine. I am going to try and remember to check it tomorrow morning when I know the engine is cold. Of course, it could just be burning oil but regardless, it stresses me out because I rely on that car for transportation and it's already been in the shop three different times for this oil leak plus once a year or two ago to have the transmission rebuilt. It just exceeded 100,000 miles a week or two ago.

So anyway, enough about the car. So, we left the laundromat and headed to the Dollar Store so my sister could pick up some toilet paper that she needed. I waited out in the car with the two kids and called my Grandma to talk to her about my car because I was supposed to let them know if anything happens so we can take the car back if we have to.

While I was on the phone with my Grandma, my Grandma tells me that her older brother just died earlier in the day and she starts crying on the phone. I don't think I've ever heard my Grandma cry. If I have, it's been quite some time and this really upset me because my Grandma has been sick lately due to having kidney stones blasted and now this happens. I was upset because my Grandma was upset. I'm probably her closest Grand-daughter (since she practically raised me from the 6th grade on up) and so we are very close and it bothers me when she's upset. I think this may have been her last living sibling or one of them. My Grandma is about 70 years old and all the stress she's had lately is getting to her too.

So all of this stuff (and possibly some other minor stuff that I either can't remember or am not mentioning) has added up to make me really depressed tonight. Not to mention the fact that I forgot to take my anti-depressant on time today and ended up taking it a few hours later than what I should have.

So anyway, please forgive my rant. If you'd like to offer your comments, they'd probably be appreciated. I can't really sleep right now I don't think cause I slept almost all afternoon and evening. I don't know what else to say really. I could probably go on for pages but this is long enough. Anyway, I have some threads in the Prayer Requests forum, the Praise Reports Forum, and in various places on Christian Forums if you'd like to understand the full story better. Just look up my recent posts. I think I'm going to reschedule my counselling appointment for this week instead of next. *sigh*

God Bless You All and Thanks for Listening!
Holly

 

[Imani]

Hi Holly

i dont really know what to say but i wanted you to know im praying for you and hope things get better for you soon.

Sara

 

[Ave Maria]

Hi Holly

i dont really know what to say but i wanted you to know im praying for you and hope things get better for you soon.

Sara

Thank you Sara. And don't worry about not knowing what to say. That's rather expected in my complext life. Thanks!

 

[Swanee]

Hi Holly, sorry to hear that it all seems to be piling up on you. It sounds like a lot for one person to put up with, but keep on pressing in to the Lord. I am praying for you.

GBY

 

[graysparrow]

If you can't beat them all at the same time, solve them one after the other. Your life is not in a hurry.

 

[Ave Maria]

If you can't beat them all at the same time, solve them one after the other. Your life is not in a hurry.

No, my life is in a hurry. Or at least it has been lately. Thankfully I'm feeling a lot better today depression wise! I could be better but I feel a lot better than I did last night.

 

[Ave Maria]

Now I have to go without my meds until Wednesday or Thursday because they were totally out of samples. I can't afford to buy the meds because I have very little income. All well, thank God for good samaritans. I hope I'll do well without my medication for a couple of days.

 

[TheMainException]

My dear beloved sister in the name of the Father, I pray that you might experience a reprieve from the pain and struggle that is going on in your life. My dear friend, Holly....depression is a personalized hell that can be described in no other way so fully. I am sorry that this all has to add up at one time. Always remember Job, and in the worst of times, read through it....remember that although Job was a faithful follower of God, he was still tormented by Satan....Satan torments those who love God the most. If you love God, you will be tempted and attacked nearly always. But here's the thing.....think about the faithless sinners living in their joy and peace and happiness...not only is it not nearly as good as what we can have, as Christians, but when they die....their joy ends forever, and pain ensues for all eternity....for us....we have pain for a few years, but have joy in the pain (just like the loyal disciples) and then we die and are entered into a place with more wonderous happiness than ever before. God will allow pain for a while....simply because it will make us draw nearer to him....and maybe (I just thought of this yesterday in a massive bit of pain of my own) possibly, pain today makes heaven seem millions of times better than if we lived good times here and then entered heaven.....maybe a little farfetched....but something to think about, yeah? Also....make a major habit for yourself of taking those meds.....once you forget simply once, it takes a while to build up in your system again...and certainly DON'T double up.....I also believe that counseling appointments should be every week....this just helps to keep things rolling in the right direction. My dear beloved sister in Christ the Father, who delivers us from the worst of pain at just the right moments....I love you....my God keep you in his arms forever and ever, much love, Lauren PS ....PM me if you just wanna talk or you need anything, I would be more than grateful to help you out.

 

[perfection]

The problem however is that you worry about trivial things. And you are putting life in a wrong context. You cant' expect your car never to break down, you can't expect your grandma to live forever. You can't expect life never to take a hit at you. SO be prepared for it.

-If the garage can't fix your oil problem, goto another garage and let them fix the car.
-If you get sick , goto the docter or put on more clothes when you go outside.
-If your grandma is upset because someone has died, all you can do is comfort her. But you also have to be in the realisation that old people don't have left much time on this earthly realm. You hear it all the time, then this person dies,then that person dies,cancer this, heartattack such, brain infarct so. It is absolutely pointless to worry about this because you are not in control, also let's say you would hear of a person 84 years old who died of heartattack, instead of feeling sorry you could also be more positive and see that this person was lucky to become of such high age, and think about all the years that where blessed given to them to live, as some don't even reach the age of 14 or less. These are all natural things. When your car brakes down it isn't exactly the end of the world. It's not nice either, but you have to put things in perspective and not apocalyptical as if it's doomsday or something. Most of the time it's not, and not even worth worrying about. You should only worry about the things you have in control, not about the things that you can't handle, like death or mechanical disfunction every now and then. Really it's all natural or physically perfectly normal for those things to happen and when it hits you bad, just try to think that your car can be repaired, and that (if a good person dies) they will goto heaven, and probably are having a better time then you are. Plus those souls who have crossed over wouldn't want you to stop living, they love you and want you to continue living.

 

[Wakeup2god]

I was reading a book about finding comfort in time of loss. It had this very interesting and inspiring bit in it

from 'Joy Comes In The Morning by Bob Gass

In ancient times bottles called lachrymatories were used to collect the tears of those mourning. These were then placed inside the tomb of the deceased as a sign of respect. That custom may have inspired the Psalmist to write, "You keep a track of all my sorrows. You have collected all of my tears in your bottle... recorded each one in your book" (Psalm 56:8 NLT). Sir Alexander Fleming the English scientist, believed that tears were efficient microbe killers and demonstrated that just one teaspoon had enough antiseptic power to purify 100 gallons of water. Maybe we should all cry more often - for our health's sake.

 

[loves god]

Hi there

Please let me offer my two cents worth.

I think it is dangerous to ever be too content in this life.
I dont rely on everything going well im my life, mostly things have been going pretty badly.
However what you must rely apon are your times of intimacy with the Lord when he will give you refreshing and strength to cope with all your circumstances.

I also dont know what else to say! wink
God bless
Troy