Help with understanding

[Philippians4:13]

Hi all! I am here to see about finding help with understanding OCD a bit and hopefully learn how to encourage my husband of 9 years to seek the help he needs. Thank you!!!

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Hi, let me first say that OCD is an extremely complicated disorder, actually I think that if I completely understood it I wouldn't have it! I would say that it is a genetically passed disorder of the mind, it would seem that there are chemicals in the brain (normal brain) that act as safeguards in our mind to keep from extreme anxiety and obsession but it also seems that those who suffer from OCD are missing these safeguards, so we repeat tasks that are done and obsess over fears even though we know it is irrational.

That's the thing with OCD, we are not insane, insanity is losing your grip on reality, we fully know what we are doing but we can not stop, even though we know it is irrational behaviour. Also if we do conquer one fear or compulsion it can then and usually does morph into something else that our minds grab hold of.

It is very strange disorder and it is very tough to overcome, almost impossible, it would be for me if not for God. It still defeats me daily but I know God is faithful, that's what keeps me going. My current obsession is based on how I pray to God, when I pray I must repeat the name of the Lord many times because I think that I am having evil thoughts when I say His name, so as I am trying not to think these evil things, of course I do, and it is a endless cycle until I feel I get it just right... Like I said, it is irrational, but the anxiety is very tough and hard to stand up against.

It is also hard to comprehend unless you have suffered from it, try to picture yourself locking the door to a room and you have just left all the money you have in the world inside, there is only one opening to the door of the room and it is through a combination lock code that you cannot remember no matter how hard you try...(extreme, endless anxiety) But even that anxiety is nothing compared to harm and especially spiritual (scrupulosity) OCD, it can be tough. Hope that helps though, God bless!

 

[Tonyy2]

Great explanation lol. That's an interesting way to look at it but OCD is very difficult. But faith prayer and the proper approach can help alot

 

[Philippians4:13]

Thanks guys. Yes, what you explained (Soldier) is exactly the way it is with my husband. We got married quite fast, and I didn't know anything about it until after we were married and started living together. I just thought it was a bad habit, but am now learning it isn't that simple. Several years ago, it almost cost us our marriage. He was struggling with thoughts about women and couldn't stop them. It's very hard to live with sometimes, but right now his 'thing' is making sure my son is spotless all the time. Which, I would take that over some other things we've had to deal with any day! Problem is, I just KNOW my son is going to catch onto it somehow, and I don't know what to do. Part of me understands it is hereditary, and the other part of me feels it is a learned behavior too. Would it be too much to ask how you deal with it? My husband used to be on meds for it, but he says they didn't work. I keep trying to encourage him to get counseling to try and break it somehow, but no offense, guys aren't into that stuff. I think my greatest fear is what will it be next-ya know?

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Would it be too much to ask how you deal with it?

I have never done the meds thing, although I'm sure it works for some people.

In my experience the only thing that works for me is the form of therapy called "exposure therapy", you must let the anxiety come and when it does you must force yourself not to do the compulsion to relieve it, it is very hard, but if you can somehow hold on without doing the compulsion, the anxiety will subside. What your husband must do is to show himself that not doing the compulsion will not hurt him and that the anxiety will not continue indefinitely, that it will pass.

This is the only form of therapy that I have got to work in my life, I still have spiritual compulsion (like in prayer) but the more ridiculous ones such as coughing hundreds of times or keeping everything equal (its as bad as it sounds...) I have gotten out of my life completely (thank the Lord!).The spiritual ones are harder to conquer because you can not use the same kind of therapy when it could possibly be sin to allow evil thoughts in your mind (...).

Also if your husband tries this form of therapy and it works, which it will, he must not let the OCD morph again, it is much easier to withstand the new compulsion from the beginning then after it has gotten roots in your behaviour, the anxiety will be less if you stop it from the beginning, just use the same exposure therapy every time something else comes up.

Also during the exposure, the anxiety will be intense, so I would recommend that he try some relaxation exercises, such as forcing himself to focus on relaxing his muscles in his neck and forehead especially. This really helps. Also most definitely prayer and worship music are great relaxers. Prayer may be hard to do at this time of severe anxiety but worship music will speak to your heart and calm your soul, allow it to flood your mind instead of the anxiety and eventually the need to do the compulsion will pass.

I will be praying for you both, God bless!

 

[Philippians4:13]

Thanks again Soldier. I will talk to him about it and hopefully he will give it a shot. Thanks for your help and your prayers!
P.S. Being an outsider, I am not in a place where I can offer anything other than just advice. Regarding your statement about 'The spiritual ones are harder to conquer because you can not use the same kind of therapy when it could possibly be sin to allow evil thoughts in your mind (...).' I just want to say that IMHO, 'allowing evil thoughts' is not sin. Sometimes, a certain word (THE worst one being a christian)pops into my head and it may roll around a bit. I try my hardest to stop thinking about it, but sometimes it takes a bit longer than usual. (See, I think everyone has some form of OCD!) You can't control things that pop into your head-thank Satan for that. BUT, what you do with it (ie. act on it by saying it, doing it) IS the sin. So, all I am saying is, with my limited information (and with respect of the disorder, of course), don't be too hard on yourself about thoughts. They are just that-THOUGHTS. Never once do we read in the Bible where God judged people for their thoughts. I pray that with Jesus' strength, you will one day master this and find a way to help others!!

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Thank you 4:13 for your encouragement and advice, it is most appreciated and helpful, I know that my fears are irrational, its just so hard to tell myself that when the thoughts start flooding in, the anxiety builds up, its difficult...everything. must. be. perfect....I'm working on it though, the Lord is helping me.

 

[justpassingthrough21]

I got my hands on a cd set called "believers authority" by Brother Kenneth E. Hagin and it changed my life. I am guessing your husband is a believer, if so you should look into it. After listening to it I got very aggressive in my authority against OCD, and I saw more change in 1 week than what would take me months with everything else I was trying. Your husbands sounds like an external thing, where he is being a "clean freak" to the enth degree. Mine was all mental and all related to my faith in Christ. Either way it doesn't matter because the Bible says we are seated with Christ in heavenly places. It also says Christ is above every name that is named. If it has a name, He is above it in power. OCD has a name, so does anxiety, so on and so forth. I realized I have authority over my body since it has been redeemed, I just speak to it with that authority. Faith is awesome
~Aaron