Help with controlling temper.

[Mankin]

Hello everyone.

Being a redhead, I live up to the "sterotype" of being a hothead. I tend to get very irritated and let little things frustrate me. I also find myself getting angry at other people due to small things they do or say that irritate me.

I don't usually go through long periods of anger it's more like short little bursts. Anyone got any advice for controlling it? It's like I have anger management issues, it's just a problem of mine.

Thanks in advance.

 

[donb1959]

Mankin,

Talk about anger issues...lemme tell ya back in the day, late 30s early 40s...Im 50 now, I would fly off the handle at just about anything, gave every one a piece of my mind, like I had any to spare. It's been a struggle, but since I have grown closer to God I can tell you what has worked for me. Every time I felt the anger bubble rising because of something really insignificant I would halt my tongue long enough to picture Christ being willfully lead away by Roman soldiers, spit on, beaten, and crucified. Sounds like alot to think about right before your ready to blow a fuse, but it really only takes a second.

Another thing that worked for me was when I felt the bubble rising I would say something positive in the stead...it really works, you can't be mad and uplift someone at the same time. Hope this helps ya a little.

Shalom,
Don B

 

[freeport]

Hello everyone.

Being a redhead, I live up to the "sterotype" of being a hothead. I tend to get very irritated and let little things frustrate me. I also find myself getting angry at other people due to small things they do or say that irritate me.

I don't usually go through long periods of anger it's more like short little bursts. Anyone got any advice for controlling it? It's like I have anger management issues, it's just a problem of mine.

Thanks in advance.

I had a friend that would drink too much and brag about how it is in his genes, that he is Irish, is why he does it... for years. One day, he discovers horrible news from his dad: he is Swedish. No Irish at all. Lol.

(Conversely, I have known some Scot-Irish do this same thing... not understanding the difference between Southern Irish and Scot-Irish. )


Throw out stereotypes. Some people do have more explosive anger then others, my middle daughter is a good example of that. She takes after her mother in that way. But, like her mother, she is quick to turn around and apologize.


Remember, 'anger does not make you right'. It rarely is the right way to get what you want. What can build up anger is keeping grudges, or debts. Forgive everyone every debt against you as quickly as possible so God will not hold anything against you. When someone says something that makes you angry try and approach them directly on the matter lest that anger turns to hate.


Forgiveness is a continual state to strive for everyday: people will cut you off, be rude, cut in line, take too long, and so on. We are asked to be bigger and stronger then that and trust in God. 'The sun shines and the rain rains on the righteous and wicked alike'.


That is where real strength is: in shrugging everything off.


Be quick to forgive and give up all matters to God. God is the One to always trust judgment to. People who do not trust judgment to God will never get protection from God. People who do trust judgment to God will always see their own ways succeed and justice done.

 

[Emmy]

Dear Mankin. Think of God, and how much He loves you. God wants us to become loving to all others, that includes treating them, as we would like to be treated. We have been given years to learn, and we know that he, or she, who knows how to controll a temper, is always the winner. We all hope to be with God one day, in His Kingdom with many mansions, where Love rules completely. Giving in to quick temper, a selfish charactertrait, would soon cause mayhem and unloving reactions. I say this humbly and with love, Mankin. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[sungaunga]

Mankin,

Talk about anger issues...lemme tell ya back in the day, late 30s early 40s...Im 50 now, I would fly off the handle at just about anything, gave every one a piece of my mind, like I had any to spare. It's been a struggle, but since I have grown closer to God I can tell you what has worked for me. Every time I felt the anger bubble rising because of something really insignificant I would halt my tongue long enough to picture Christ being willfully lead away by Roman soldiers, spit on, beaten, and crucified. Sounds like alot to think about right before your ready to blow a fuse, but it really only takes a second.

Another thing that worked for me was when I felt the bubble rising I would say something positive in the stead...it really works, you can't be mad and uplift someone at the same time. Hope this helps ya a little.

Shalom,
Don B

that's what I call a testimony. I don't have an anger problem per se but I think we can all benefit from this. Thank You

 

[AmeriLovesJesus]

People say that about me too.. but because Im Irish !!! Lol.. yeah forget the stereotype thing.. I got anger issues as well.. but I am definitely learning to control. My friends use to tease me cause Id get flipped.. they would say I had this odd amount of strength when Id flip. Its under control now though ... sorta ... but really just try to relax when you feel the pressure coming on. When I started getting to closer to God I started realizing why I felt so bad after those scenes, because I made myself look like a maniac!! lol!! when I could just take a second away to clear my head.. Im learning now.. Im saving and restoring many relationships by not totaly FLIPPING off the handle & just responding lightly or walking away. Im getting more respect too!! Though a lot did things to really upset me..

I find the saying true that its better to hold your tongue than open your mouth & make a total fool out of yourself...

Silence says a lot sometimes. You'd be amazed the puzzled looks I get when I dont even respond.

 

[Meeker]

Everything anyone here has said is true. It also reads in the Bible "Anyone who says to his brother "Raca!" is answerable to the Sanhedrin, but I say to you: Anyone who says to his brother "You fool!" is in danger of the fires of Hell."

God is slow to anger; be like the Lord.

 

[ghs1994]

Hello everyone.

Being a redhead, I live up to the "sterotype" of being a hothead. I tend to get very irritated and let little things frustrate me. I also find myself getting angry at other people due to small things they do or say that irritate me.

I don't usually go through long periods of anger it's more like short little bursts. Anyone got any advice for controlling it? It's like I have anger management issues, it's just a problem of mine.

Thanks in advance.

If you are saved, you should allow the Spirit of God to control you. In the past and even now, I remember James 4:1-3 when I become angry. Most anger is in the form of pride. Some of it may be righteous anger, but James 1:20 tells us man's anger does not produce the righteousness of God. Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:21-26 not to be angry because anger can lead to very sinful behavior or events to take place.

It's much more difficult for some people to restrain their anger, but as you get older, you will find that it's really not worth the time being angry. As you grow in your understanding, experience and relationship w/ Jesus, you will find anger is really not worth the effort.

 

[ceh85]

Hi Mankin,
I am also a redhead but I guess we can't blame it all on that unfortunately! I used to have a lot of problems with my temper too but lately it's calmed down quite a bit. I think in the end I realised I was suppressing my feelings about certain issues and so the anger was coming out in other ways. I don't know if this resonates for you at all but if there are things in your life that frustrate you maybe you could try working through them in some way? Also (you're probably going to roll your eyes at this!) but I saw that you are 17...maybe it is partly hormonal imbalances at work? Believe me I've had my share, and I don't mean to 'dismiss' you as a stroppy teenager at all, just that things are going on physically that you can't always control...

Aside from that, now whenever I feel myself getting impatient or angry I try to imagine myself as the person I'm talking to so I can better understand their situation and where they are coming from. I found a lot of the things that anger me come from inside me, not other people, who normally have good intentions!

Hope you can move on with things anyway. At one point I thought my anger was just part of my personality, but when I resolved issues in my life it slipped away and I realised you CAN change it. Yay! Good luck and God bless.

 

[Jeffz]

. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
4. (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds
5. Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Most of my anger is caused from pride, and misunderstanding. But we have weapons that God can help us to use. Alot of times I have expectations of others that are not met and I can get upset because they are not acting as I would like them to. Of course I am not God even though at times I act like I am. For this I not only have to forgive others but must also ask forgiveness for myself. If I am honest with myself I can ask myself why does 'this' bother me. If I don't know the answer or am confused I can ask God to search my heart. Prayer always is a good start, and asking God to help you to be self disciplened.
jeffz