Help with an older childs eating/exercise habits

[AlinaK]

I am having trouble with the eating and exerise habits of my 18 year old daughter Ekaterina (Katya). Katya was involved in Gymnastics for 8 years before we moved here when she was 12 (1998). During this time she was on a strict diet and did at least 4-5 hours of physical activity a day.

When Katya quit, she took full advantage of finally being able to eat and do what she pleased, but it has now got to the stage where her only physical activity is dancing in a smoky pub with her mates! She eats nothing but junk food and given the amount of fat she eats, I can not believe she is not overweight - she must have one hell of a metobloism! (She weights probably a tiny bit under average)

I am trying to get Katya out exercising and eating well, but it all seems to nfail. For dinner last night I made her a peice of grilled chickren and some salad, but she practically gagged on the smallest peice of lettuce and only got the salad down by cutitng it into tiny peices and swallowing them with water like a tabloids. A few hours later she claims she wants to vomit and is shuddering because 'It made me sick'

I am at my wits end and I don't know what to do! She doesn't like pasta, vegetables, fruit, milk, meat, rice or anything lile that. How can I get Katya eating it and liking it. Is there some trick we can use to get her used to the food quickly because I am so worried about her health and what all the fast food and chocolates are doing to her, but at the same time, I don't want to feed her something she hates eating and has to swog with water. She really doesn't want to eat red meats, and I am OK with that, but I somehow need to get her eating fruits, sandwiches, veges etc etc and just can't have any luck.

It is even starting to get Katya depressed because she either eats the hot chips and sauce she is used to or the salad which she practically gags on trying to swallow.

As for exercising, how can I motivate her to get out of the house and swim or walk when all she wants to do is text on her phone or watch tv or use the next. It is becoming a nightmare, I jsut want to help but nothing is going right. I am so orried I won't be able to get her onto healthy foods because her body seems to reject them and I can't get her to eat them without saying she hates the taste of it. Is there something that can be done for her to get used to the taste esily? Will she get used to eating it if we just force it?

Any help please?

 

[bliz]

Some of what you describe makes it sound like your daughter may have an eating disorder. I'm thinking particularly of her cutting up the food into tiny little pieces and still having a hard time getting them down. I think she needs some medical attention.
With eating disorders, body image becomes really distorted. They can be skin and bones, but sincerly believe that they are fat.

Meanwhile - will she drink things? An awful lot of good nutrition can be packed into a "smothie" that can be made as thin or thick as she would like. Bananas, eggs, ice cream, other fruits, yogurt... (probably best if she doesn't watch you make it!) I would try and have as little force involved in this as popssible. Try and position yourself as fighting with her rather than fighting against her. Lots of hugging can go a really long way to help.

 

[Melbelle]

I have to agree with the above post, you might want to call her doctor and schudal a meeting to see if maybe she has a eatting disorder or what is going on with her. Sounds really scary, I'll try talking to my mother inlaw about this because she is a nurse and knows alot about eatting disorders she is always on to me for not eatting the right amounts of foods and stuff so I'll be sure and talk to her about this and then let you know what I find out but it want be on any medical advice it'll just be between mother inlaw and daughter inlaw then to a sister to another sister in christ. she will be in my prayers.

 

[BeanMak]

I third the motion about a visit to the doctor. But on the other hand, it might help if you back off a bit. Hand her a vitamin pill in the morning and leave it at that. At 18, she is old enough to feed herself, and most teens don't eat like a parent would like or hope. Don't make it a power struggle. You can't make her eat right. You can invite her to go swimming WITH her, or invite her for a walk WITH you, but you can't make her exercise.

 

[lucypevensie]

No, she will not get used to it if it is forced upon her. Most likely she would resent you trying to control that area of her life. You can make a nutritious meal, allow her to serve herself and eat as much or as little as she wants. She's 18, old enough to know what she likes and whether or not she feels hungry. Obsessing about food and exercise are prime ingredients in a recipe for an eating disorder. It looks like she's showing some signs of it already so that's why I agree with previous posters who say she should be evaluated by a doctor. In the meantime I'd advise to lay off the nagging. Of course you are concerned and I don't blame you, but I think this is an issue that should be addressed with a doctor.

 

[HeatherJay]

She's 18 years old...she's an adult.

I can understand that you only want the best for your daughter, but I find it a little disturbing that you're forcing her to eat foods that she doesn't like at that age. You know, it's not at all uncommon for college age kids like your daughter to survive on pizza, chips, ramen noodles, and soda. Of course it's junk food...but at this age it's her decision what she eats and what she doesn't.

It doesn't sound like an eating disorder to me (but, if you're truly concerned that may be the case, then definitely see a doctor)...it sounds like she's just not interested in eating the things her mother is demanding that she eat. Maybe it's a rebellion thing. I would certainly have rebelled if my mother had tried to control my diet at that age.

No offense...that's just my opinion.