Help please.

[Redstiletto]

I am re-writing a novel that I have been trying to write for about the past ten years. It is a book that I believe in 110% and that I know if I could just get it written and edited that I could get it published as a series.

But I need to develope my characters more, and I was wondering if I post up my character bios here, if anyone was willing to help me edit them , and make them seem more realistic.

Because the main thing with my novel series thing is that it is very unrealistic, and that is why it has taken me so long to write it because I started when I was about 12 or 13 with this idea and it was just crazy, anything and everything happened, and it just didnt flow right. So I need to keep myself level headed and keep myself grounded to get this written right.

But it all has to start with the characters.

So do I have any help?

~Nic

 

[Lessien]

I don't know how helpful my advice would be, but I'll help....

 

[Redstiletto]

Thanks Lessien! I will pm you later today with what I have to get done!


Otherwise if people prefer it, I could post them up here in the Writers Guild, and have them picked apart (I am very open for criticism, because I want them to be the best)

 

[Tariel]

I would love to help if you could pm them to me that would be great and I'll get back to you ASAP

 

[Lessien]

Same here

 

[oncewaslost]

i've found that the best way to figure out if your characters are realistic is have a friend you trust (and who's willing to read your work) read it and give suggestions. that's how i usually do it but i guess it doesn't have to be done that way. i'd be willing to look over your characters for you if you'd like.

 

[Redstiletto]

Here: This will just be easier. Here is the main character:

Main Character​

Name:Arica Jon Austin
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Height: 5'3"
Weight: 108lbs

Appearance: She has a petite frame, slim but has a bit of a muscular tone. Her skin is tan from a summer in the sun, and she has a splash of sun freckles. Her hair is long, about to the middle of her back, it's honey blond with platinum blond highlights and has a dark brown underneath with a few dark low lights speckling through the whole head of hair. She has bright sea water green eyes that are lined by perfectly sculpted eye brows and a small nose. Her cheeks and nose have perfectly placed freckles from the sun.

She dresses in very trendy preppy girly clothes. Her favorite store is American Moose, where all the trendy clothes are. She has a girly sense about her but can rock out her wardrobe at any given time.

Personality: She is a shy girl when you first meet her, but around her brothers and friends she is very outgoing. She is the captain of her cheerleading squad at their private high school. She takes pride in her athletic ability, she grew up playing sports with her brothers and their friends. She is poised and proper but knows how to have a good time. She can be laid back and casual if the mood is right.

Background: Has two brothers, Hobie and Nick that live with her and her mother. Nick is older by two years and Hobie is younger by one. They live in the city park of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Her brothers and herself have a close group of friends, that they have grown up with. They are also their neighbors. And the 7 of them have been inseperable since they were babies. She attends a Catholic highschool, and is the valid victorian of her class. She maintains a 4.0 with excellerated classes and honors classes and manages to hold onto a job and after school activities.

Hobbies: Cheerleading, she is in a band with her friends and loves to make her own clothes.

Hopes and Dreams: She hopes to someday go to the college of her choice, The University of Wisconsin in Madison, where her older brother and his best friend go. And she hopes to make it to the rockstar level with her band.

Flaws:She is a perfectionist, and she is an overachiever, maybe her trying to get her goals all met is her flaw, she tries to be tooo perfect. Her other flaw is that she depends to much on the support of her brothers and her guy friends.

 

[Tariel]

i've found that the best way to figure out if your characters are realistic is have a friend you trust (and who's willing to read your work) read it and give suggestions. that's how i usually do it but i guess it doesn't have to be done that way. i'd be willing to look over your characters for you if you'd like.

Complete strangers work just as well, if not better. A friend is more likely to be just a little biased no matter how honest they are.

 

[Tariel]

I just noticed that my last post had terrible grammer

That's what I get for posting at 2:30am instead of sleeping I embarrass myself

 

[Lessien]

lol. So many posts I've made at 2 AM made no sense....at least your post was understandable!

 

[oncewaslost]

Complete strangers work just as well, if not better. A friend is more likely to be just a little biased no matter how honest they are.

true, but i'm a coward. it wasn't till recently that i actually showed any of my work to anyone outside my group of really close friends.

 

[oncewaslost]

it's difficult for me to tell how dynamic your character is when i just see a profile but she appears pretty realistic.

 

[GrinningDwarf]

Here: This will just be easier. Here is the main character:

Sounds pretty real to me. Just keep in mind that even though you need to know all this stuff, it might not be a good idea to toss it all out there at once to the reader, either. Remember...show, don't tell. And, as oncewaslost said, it would also be helpful to read some dialogue and see the character actually moving in a scene.


(BTW...congrats on your upcoming 1 month anniversary! )

 

[Paladin Dave]

Seems like a real character! I know I've run into people like that. As for being a Catholic School student, though... don't they usually have a uniform policy? And would they have cheerleaders?

 

[Redstiletto]

Yes Dave, they do.

I went to a Catholic school remember!

 

[Redstiletto]

Sounds pretty real to me. Just keep in mind that even though you need to know all this stuff, it might not be a good idea to toss it all out there at once to the reader, either. Remember...show, don't tell. And, as oncewaslost said, it would also be helpful to read some dialogue and see the character actually moving in a scene.


(BTW...congrats on your upcoming 1 month anniversary! )

AWW!! Thank you!!!

Oh and the reader will not get to see these bios, they are just to help me really get a feel and lock down who the character is.

 

[Paladin Dave]

I wasn't quite sure. I just knew my mom went to one with a uniform policy.

 

[Redstiletto]

Yeah and hers will have that too, but she also has her own style outside of school.

 

[Jehane]

May I suggest a short action passage so we can get a 'feel' for your character & how she comes across on the page. Dialogue would be good too. Reality comes with being able to engage with the character on paper & I won't know that till I 'meet' her not just read about her. If you don't mind. I know it can be really scarey putting your heart out there for others to scrutinize.

 

[nowbeginsforever]

I think seeing her in action would help, too. She certainly does sound real, though.