Ook so here's the deal, my friend has bi-polar and she suffers a lot more lows than highs. She can get very needy and so last week her boyfriend broke up with her. She has tried to commit suicide a few times now, overdosing and cutting. We really want to help her but she just wont let us. She recently got baptised which was a plus, we've been praying for her a lot, that God would do something amazing, not even to cure her but to help her deal with some of the stuff going on in her life. So tonight we were at youth group and a friend picked her up. As soon as she got in the car, without saying hello even she showed her her wrist and said 'look what i did' and spent the whole 20 minute car trip telling her all about it. Normally she wouldn't have minded, but every time we see this girl she has something and spends the whole time talking about herself and how she tried to do this, and her boyfriend broke up with her, and her dad hit her, and many other things. When we first met her we were really supportive, listening, offering some advice, offering a place to stay or a ride to church, stuff like that. But it has been a while and every time we see her there's something new, or she goes on about the old stuff. If she were looking for someone to listen, then we were it. My friends and i, although we love her and really care about her and her wellbeing are feeling rather burdened. We think she does this to seek attention. A few weeks ago she came to church and before it started she went down to the shops and spent over $500, and refused to go up to the service. It seems that every time she's at church for more than 5 mins she has to get out of there. I honestly dont know how to help her. I don't know much about the symptoms and side-effects of bi-polar and the tablets she's taking, but is this common? And can we help her?
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Help...please help!
- Thread starter misdeavious
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Alive again
A daughter of the King of Kings!
Pray for God, the Holy Spirit for wisdom. He has promised He is able and willing to deliver this. Pray that the Holy Spirit will be realeased in your friend and clear her mind of confusion and that God's truth would be revealed. Much of what you say can be consistent with symptoms of bipolar, from what you share she may not be well controlled by her meds. Have you ever run across Neil Andersen adn Dave Parks works on "Who we are in Christ" Pray that you friend will come to know just how precious she is to God. Help to remind her that God loves her no matter what. Does she have a clear testimony of being saved??? Then encourage her to seek out a good counselor, preferably Christian. She needs not only friends, but a wise counselor and our Amazing God. I am tired today, so forgive me if this seems trite. But prayer is one of our most powerful weapons, as is the true knowledge of who we are in Christ.
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I have bipolar. It is not an escuse. Your friend is the one who is not willing to sit through church. The bipolar has nothing to do with the way she acts. bipolar can make a person anxious and easily distracted, but unless she wants to change, nothing you do or say will do any good. It seems like she seems to think that what makes her an interesting person and a worthwhile person is things like cutting herself and overdosing. You need to let her know that you love her in spite of those things and not because of them. You need to let her know that you want to see her change and do better for herself and you want to support her recovery not her bad habits. She seems to have found her identity in her bipolar disorder. She seems to have her worth wrapped up in what she does that proves she has a problem with this disorder. You need to help her see that her problems are not what attracts you to her and that you want your friendship to be about good things, not about her problems. Try to distract her from her problems. She needs to focus her attention on bettering herself through other areas of interest. Maybe you could go shopping with her sometime. It sounds like she is not very open to Christianity so don't try to force it on her. Spend time with her doing other things that you both can enjoy together. That will show her Christ in you and it will help her get her attention off of herself and open the doors of communication between you two. Don't bring up her bipolar. Pretend it doesn't exist. help her forget about it because it seems to be a big deal to her and that is why it is dragging her down so much. Talking about it will only make it worse. She needs to establish herself outside of her disorder. Talk to her about good things going on in your life, or even share some of your problems with her. She is crying out for help and she is crying out for someone to show her how to be happy.
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Yes you can help her by staying loyal to her even though she is difficult to get on with. It seems that she hasn't come to grips with her bi-polar reality as yet and seeks to impress people with her fallen reality instead. Learning about God and what He can do in her life - stop the cutting and control the suicidal tendencies for example - is something she may well be craving for and this is what you can teach and show her but usually this takes time and effort on the part of those supporting mentally ill people.
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I think also that you should stand by her, It might be frustrating but, as soon as she finds out that your not going to let her go and not going to stop helping then maybe some of that will stop. She does need to seek couceling from a pdr. and also from GOD. Her spending is an addiction that comes with bipolar. Be lucky that it's not anyform of drugs. She can always take the stuff back to the store but she can't take back the drugs she used.( not saying that she does) this is an example. Being bipolar myself I did the shopping thing until we almost lost our house! But, Nobody gave up on me!!!
I will say a pray for you!
GOD BLESS!
Zita
I will say a pray for you!
GOD BLESS!
Zita
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thanks heaps guys, that was really helpful, and kinda strengthened me to be able to stand by her.
peace out
peace out
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Misdeavious-
My best friend and roommate is Bipolar. She is so sunk in the love of God. She is the best person I know. God will show your friend the way. Don't give up on her. Just treat her the way you know how to. God will work thru you. Patience is the one thing she needs now. Just love her.
Holly
My best friend and roommate is Bipolar. She is so sunk in the love of God. She is the best person I know. God will show your friend the way. Don't give up on her. Just treat her the way you know how to. God will work thru you. Patience is the one thing she needs now. Just love her.
Holly
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