Help! need solution to drown out noise

[schrodingers_cat_lives]

My boyfriend has AS and lives in an apt. below neighbors who have kids. These units were built poorly with no insulation and you can hear everything.

He is very sensitive to noise and unfortunately these neighbors upstairs have a couple of kids---one is a toddler who does nothing but run back and forth continuously. Apart from the running, when they play, it sounds like they are dropping bowling balls. I'm an NT and it's loud to me so I can imagine how much worse it must be for him. This noise issue is becoming a huge problem. If I get distracted with something, i can eventually tune it out, but for him, this constant noise is causing him an incredible amount of stress and anxiety.

As for complaining to the landlord or speaking to the neighbors, we've done all that and to no avail. That's a long story. I've already gotten into a huge argument after repeated polite requests to keep the noise down. Right now he can't move, so i'm trying to think of some practical solutions that could help him cope with sensory over load and solutions to block out the noise.

He works from home on the pc and wears his head phones and listens to music sometimes, but even with the head phones he can hear it. I got him some ear plugs, but since they're made of some kind of pliable wax, he doesn't want to use them because he thinks they'll get stuck. He does keep the tv on for some background noise, so i thought maybe getting him wireless tv head phones would help.

It's gotten to the point that he starts to feel anxiety even when there is no noise because he's anticipating the noise---what sounds like a herd of wildabeasts running. Yesterday, it got so bad that he had a melt down.

What do you do to cope with loud noises? Can you think of any practical solutions that can help him manage this problem?

 

[LovedSparrow]

Welcome!

First of all, my biggest condolences to your bf. Loud noises to Aspies can be torture.

I don't know a solution but some suggestions would be a fan? I don't know if the humming of it turned on high would be too much. Some of them have a softer noise, and aren't necessarily loud. Or maybe a loud one would be good? Another would be a noise machine? They have them where you can have soft noise (like a soft static) or examples like ocean waves, etc.

Even loud headphones after a few hours hurts my ears. I also worry about his hearing long term, that he doesn't have hearing loss over time with loud music.

And prayer. Lots and lots of prayer. Maybe pray for a new living situation to come around, a new apartment. Is there an option for moving out?

I don't know if it would help, as you've stated even with headphones he can still hear it. That's frustrating.

That's my best suggestions- does anyone else have any tips? (Short of when the neighbors leave, breaking in and soundproofing their floor and walls.)

Good luck, keep us updated on how things go. I think it's cool you care enough about your bf to come here.

LovedSparrow

 

[hedrick]

You don't want to run headphones loud all the time. It can cause hearing damage. Instead consider noise-cancelling headphones: Best noise-canceling headphones - CNET Reviews

 

[LovedSparrow]

You don't want to run headphones loud all the time. It can cause hearing damage. Instead consider noise-cancelling headphones: Best noise-canceling headphones - CNET Reviews

Great idea!

 

[jackmt]

It's gotten to the point that he starts to feel anxiety even when there is no noise because he's anticipating the noise---what sounds like a herd of wildabeasts running. Yesterday, it got so bad that he had a melt down.

What do you do to cope with loud noises? Can you think of any practical solutions that can help him manage this problem?

I have what I call my "pillow thing." I take a heavy pillow (Memory Foam) or a heavy blanket or jacket folded and cover my face with it (yes, so I can still breathe) for about 15 minutes at a time, once before I get out of bed, before I go to sleep (it helps me to sleep better, too), and some time in early to mid afternoon. It calms me down tremendously. I believe this is why I am now better able to tolerate noise. It relieves my formerly frequent bouts where I would be extremely uncomfortable and want to take all my clothes off. That doesn't go over well when visiting someone. It helps other sensory issues I have as well.

I also know that magnesium supplements aid in noise toleration from personal experience prior to my Aspie Dx when I used to ride my bike a lot and would get extremely shaky with any sudden unexpected or loud noise. A GNC salesperson overheard me describe my extreme reactions and recommended it. It worked almost instantly. Lest you think this is merely a placebo effect, I went to an Autism seminar shortly after my Dx 2 years ago where they recommended Epsom salts baths for sensory issues (Epsom salts are magnesium).

Hope this helps.

 

[motherprayer]

Google "white noise machine." They are commonly sold to doctors like psychologists, but they do have them for home use.

 

[LovedSparrow]

Thank you! That's what I meant in my above post. I couldn't think of what the name of it was.

 

[schrodingers_cat_lives]

I have what I call my "pillow thing." I take a heavy pillow (Memory Foam) or a heavy blanket or jacket folded and cover my face with it (yes, so I can still breathe) for about 15 minutes at a time, once before I get out of bed, before I go to sleep (it helps me to sleep better, too), and some time in early to mid afternoon. It calms me down tremendously. I believe this is why I am now better able to tolerate noise. It relieves my formerly frequent bouts where I would be extremely uncomfortable and want to take all my clothes off. That doesn't go over well when visiting someone. It helps other sensory issues I have as well.

I also know that magnesium supplements aid in noise toleration from personal experience prior to my Aspie Dx when I used to ride my bike a lot and would get extremely shaky with any sudden unexpected or loud noise. A GNC salesperson overheard me describe my extreme reactions and recommended it. It worked almost instantly. Lest you think this is merely a placebo effect, I went to an Autism seminar shortly after my Dx 2 years ago where they recommended Epsom salts baths for sensory issues (Epsom salts are magnesium).

Hope this helps.

magnesium...hmmm, that's interesting. When you say it worked instantly, do you mean it stopped you from getting jumpy/feeling shaky from sudden noises while you were riding your bike or does it help with other noises that bother you elsewhere? Do you still take it? What dosage should he take? Thanks for the info. I'll look into it.

He also suffers from clinical depression on top of the anxiety he's been getting from this noise problem. On friday, he ended up cutting himself during a melt down.....i wasn't there. He's also been having suicidal ideation. He is now in the psych unit. I feel so helpless to help him. I myself suffer from bipolar disorder and on top of that my dog just died this week which is starting to trigger some of my symptoms. Man, this just sux.
Thanks for the sharing and the suggestions.

 

[schrodingers_cat_lives]

thanx everyone for the suggestions. please keep him in your prayers----he just got admitted to the psych unit. He's not doing well and is at the end of his rope. He cut himself on fri. and is having suicidal ideation.

 

[jackmt]

magnesium...hmmm, that's interesting. When you say it worked instantly, do you mean it stopped you from getting jumpy/feeling shaky from sudden noises while you were riding your bike or does it help with other noises that bother you elsewhere? Do you still take it? What dosage should he take? Thanks for the info. I'll look into it.

He also suffers from clinical depression on top of the anxiety he's been getting from this noise problem. On friday, he ended up cutting himself during a melt down.....i wasn't there. He's also been having suicidal ideation. He is now in the psych unit. I feel so helpless to help him. I myself suffer from bipolar disorder and on top of that my dog just died this week which is starting to trigger some of my symptoms. Man, this just sux.
Thanks for the sharing and the suggestions.

My magnesium was depleted because of my excessive bike riding many years ago and I was not following good nutrition practices. My startle response was extreme. The relief with magnesium was immediate and my noise response returned to normal. Years later, I was at Gettysburg when they ceremoniously "blew up" a dilapidated tower with a cannon. It was a blank, but it packed all the power of live ammo. I was closer than I thought to the cannon, and when it blew, the wave went through me and I was shaking for a good 2 minutes before I was able to settle down. I had been exercising a lot at the time. I remembered the magnesium and it helped again.
Now, whenever my startle response is excessive, I resume magnesium supplements. I should probably be on them at all times, now that I have my Asperger's Dx. As for dosage, I would just start with the RDA and adjust up.

I think most of the depression is probably related to the Asperger's; it is a common comorbidity. Learning to deal with my Aspie-ness has relieved much of my depression. I am in an Asperger support group that meets weekly. We have about 10 regular members and occasional drop-ins. Except for 2 members who have become an item, nobody meets outside the group. This is not by the group's fiat; we are just Aspies who tend not to socialize. But it relieves the pervasive isolation we experience all week. One woman says she has never had the kind of conversations we have in her entire life. We get each other and don't judge. In fact, we have a lot of fun laughing at ourselves.

Google "Asperger Support groups" in your area. If there are none, get one started. Ask at the hospital where he is if there are other Aspies there or in out-patient treatment. Ask them to visit him and start a meeting. Because of HIPPA rules you will have to go through the several psychiatrists and psychologists and counselors, but you may start something valuable to more than just your friend. You will need help and be able to share help in dealing with Asperger's, as well. There are support groups for families and friends of Aspies. Get involved. And read, read, read!

And for the meltdowns, seriously, the "pillow thing" really works amazingly in calming me down. Research weighted blankets and jackets for autism. I know other Aspies who swear by them.

 

[Sabertooth]

Could they trade apartments...?