Hi everyone, My first time posting here and Im not sure I am in the correct spot, as I am at he moment am not part of any denomination. Totally new to all of this. Please let me know if there is a more appropriate forum to post in. Will tell you why I am looking for guidance and it will be a long post.
I went to and sunday school. Loved Christianity as a kid and prayed. had a great upbringing with horses on a farm etc. Started crying lots at about 11 living in old house that worked me up.
Went to Uni and did things uni students do including drugs (once) casual sex still prayed but only when upset. Went to London drank lots had fun with friends. developed an eating disorder and rheumatoid arthritis plus hashimotos thyroiditis.
Met my husband who I was drawn to strongly for no apparent reason.. He was strong on the surface but needed help but a very kind caring soul, family don't really like him as he does not show his caring side to them. He is not christian and had a bad upbringing but worries about me to the point it causes him OCD and depression.
Did lots of historic ghost tours overseas including the Greyfriars kirkyard which really really upset me up for months Me and another girl refused to go in to start with but were pulled in by others. then couldn't sleep properly for a month. Kept praying occasionally, almost daily when scared.
Bad at praying keep getting very distracted. Suffered severe anxiety and came back to Australia where this continued for a good 7 years, mixing with depression and suicidal thoughts. Which almost ended with me taking pills to end it.... no other option.
Became closer to Jesus when looking for a house when I handed it over to him to find us the one we would love. Felt calm about that.
Became depressed again and alcohol became an issue when I saw how much work needs to be done on house. Cant concentrate, or sort thoughts. Felt very suicidal agin very strongly.
Prayed to Jesus to HELP me, as it was all going to end. Cryed on the floor of my kitchen. Next week mum took me to Dr and I demanded to see a psychiatrist. I prayed until I ws crying to God to help me find someone who could help. two I couldn't get hold of and one was retired. Dr eventually sent me to a lady 5 minutes from my work.
She diagnosed me after five session of 1 hour with no prescription medication with Bipolar 2 (no mania) and ADD undiagnosed
I have been put on medication that has changed my llife I feel completely different.
still have a drinking problem. went to AA but was really put off by it at a deep level. Very sad no help no exercises to practice... just lectures.
Just found out AA is run by freemasons which my Grandfathers were on both sides was... Funny it didn't sit with me??
Have been strongly drawn to alternative religions. had reiki done where they said I was very psychic whatever that means. But didn't feel anything really Tarot card reading where they said I was very spiritual, and had male beings watching me felt nothing. Prayed to God again to ask him to help went to a Shamin energy healing which was an amazing (and i say this because it was) experience. I waited at the door of the house before my appointment and the lady was making very strange growling noises very deep. I could here from outside which made me nervous. Met her at the door and she was lovely, no scary vibes just very in control.
She came across as very sincere but still bit creepy. I assume her intentions as a person where good and she did not want to hurt me. She did a lot of praying to Mary (was roman catholic childhood she said and got put off) and other gods from different religions as she said they were ascended beings. she made me hang onto rocks from her bag which got very warm during the session.
I had to shut my eyes but I peaked and her eyeball were rolled back, which freaked me out!! I keept going though as her persona was very warm (I'm being truthful I promise, even if it sounds implausible) She made me scream my anxiety into a stone, which felt good. She said I was a very very old soul and this was my last time on earth and I have originated from non human blood as I am -o. and was a slave for many years. She said I left my soul behind over many life times and she had brought some back but would need extra sessions to do more as I was very spiritual aware and it was very draining for her. She said I am in the process of ascension whatever that means and I was from a Palladian bloodline. She told me not tell anybody this as they wouldn't understand and would think I was strange. I felt amazing and tingly afterwards. But the next week felt the same and the week after felt worse
I have since turned to Jesus again for help and reached out to some friends from school
In a short 7 days I have felt better. Apart from having very very scary dreams at the start which caused me to contact friends.
I was asleep and dreamt of a black figure holding my arms above my head and sitting on my chest. I cold not mov or cry or talk and the strength was phenomenal. I tried to fight it as I could not breath. In my dream/wake I said the Lords prayer and got very angry with the shadow (it was a human like shadow) I don't even know the lords prayer in real life really but remember saying it clearly. I think I was half awake half asleep but I was sooooo scared. Praying made me feel strong and very very angry. Before I woke up the Black figure growled in a really loud voice "you are mine" It was not in my head but more a physical hot breathy whispering in my ear
Phew thanks for letting me vent. Hope its in the right place on the forums!!!
I went to and sunday school. Loved Christianity as a kid and prayed. had a great upbringing with horses on a farm etc. Started crying lots at about 11 living in old house that worked me up.
Went to Uni and did things uni students do including drugs (once) casual sex still prayed but only when upset. Went to London drank lots had fun with friends. developed an eating disorder and rheumatoid arthritis plus hashimotos thyroiditis.
Met my husband who I was drawn to strongly for no apparent reason.. He was strong on the surface but needed help but a very kind caring soul, family don't really like him as he does not show his caring side to them. He is not christian and had a bad upbringing but worries about me to the point it causes him OCD and depression.
Did lots of historic ghost tours overseas including the Greyfriars kirkyard which really really upset me up for months Me and another girl refused to go in to start with but were pulled in by others. then couldn't sleep properly for a month. Kept praying occasionally, almost daily when scared.
Bad at praying keep getting very distracted. Suffered severe anxiety and came back to Australia where this continued for a good 7 years, mixing with depression and suicidal thoughts. Which almost ended with me taking pills to end it.... no other option.
Became closer to Jesus when looking for a house when I handed it over to him to find us the one we would love. Felt calm about that.
Became depressed again and alcohol became an issue when I saw how much work needs to be done on house. Cant concentrate, or sort thoughts. Felt very suicidal agin very strongly.
Prayed to Jesus to HELP me, as it was all going to end. Cryed on the floor of my kitchen. Next week mum took me to Dr and I demanded to see a psychiatrist. I prayed until I ws crying to God to help me find someone who could help. two I couldn't get hold of and one was retired. Dr eventually sent me to a lady 5 minutes from my work.
She diagnosed me after five session of 1 hour with no prescription medication with Bipolar 2 (no mania) and ADD undiagnosed
I have been put on medication that has changed my llife I feel completely different.
still have a drinking problem. went to AA but was really put off by it at a deep level. Very sad no help no exercises to practice... just lectures.
Just found out AA is run by freemasons which my Grandfathers were on both sides was... Funny it didn't sit with me??
Have been strongly drawn to alternative religions. had reiki done where they said I was very psychic whatever that means. But didn't feel anything really Tarot card reading where they said I was very spiritual, and had male beings watching me felt nothing. Prayed to God again to ask him to help went to a Shamin energy healing which was an amazing (and i say this because it was) experience. I waited at the door of the house before my appointment and the lady was making very strange growling noises very deep. I could here from outside which made me nervous. Met her at the door and she was lovely, no scary vibes just very in control.
She came across as very sincere but still bit creepy. I assume her intentions as a person where good and she did not want to hurt me. She did a lot of praying to Mary (was roman catholic childhood she said and got put off) and other gods from different religions as she said they were ascended beings. she made me hang onto rocks from her bag which got very warm during the session.
I had to shut my eyes but I peaked and her eyeball were rolled back, which freaked me out!! I keept going though as her persona was very warm (I'm being truthful I promise, even if it sounds implausible) She made me scream my anxiety into a stone, which felt good. She said I was a very very old soul and this was my last time on earth and I have originated from non human blood as I am -o. and was a slave for many years. She said I left my soul behind over many life times and she had brought some back but would need extra sessions to do more as I was very spiritual aware and it was very draining for her. She said I am in the process of ascension whatever that means and I was from a Palladian bloodline. She told me not tell anybody this as they wouldn't understand and would think I was strange. I felt amazing and tingly afterwards. But the next week felt the same and the week after felt worse
I have since turned to Jesus again for help and reached out to some friends from school
In a short 7 days I have felt better. Apart from having very very scary dreams at the start which caused me to contact friends.
I was asleep and dreamt of a black figure holding my arms above my head and sitting on my chest. I cold not mov or cry or talk and the strength was phenomenal. I tried to fight it as I could not breath. In my dream/wake I said the Lords prayer and got very angry with the shadow (it was a human like shadow) I don't even know the lords prayer in real life really but remember saying it clearly. I think I was half awake half asleep but I was sooooo scared. Praying made me feel strong and very very angry. Before I woke up the Black figure growled in a really loud voice "you are mine" It was not in my head but more a physical hot breathy whispering in my ear
Phew thanks for letting me vent. Hope its in the right place on the forums!!!
