Help me please!!!!

[coolchicka]

Ok I need some advice. *UPDATE ON PAGE 3* *************Hes Gone finally!!******************

Theres This guy that im going out with i just turned 20 and he is 28. We Get into fights alot sometimes it is everyday. We get into fights about which friends I hang out with how he says I dont llisten to his advice. And you know some of the friends I have he doesnt even know them... But hes like whenever your around them its like your attitude changes, seems like u dont wanna be with me you know and on and on he goes. Well I dont really have feelings for him anymore but I have to pretent I do for him.HE has these leather outfits he has me try on. Tight leather jackets tight leather pants . And I feel really uncomfortable wearing them.. But I do it so I wont make him mad. Cause of all the things hes done for me.Hes fixed my car lots of times without charging me any labor. And hes like all these things ive done for you and this is how you repay me by listening to your friends and telling them about my outfits ect......

He says im going to get judged by God if I keep listening to to them... But some of the stuff they are telling me is true like he looks as old as my dad He shouldent be having me try on his outfits if I dont really want to . its my choice to not talk to him not my fruiends and he dont get it....

I feel like im forced to be with this guy or God will punish me.... But the thing is how come he doesnt get judged by God for trying to be sexual. And hes asked me questions like when are we going to do it sometime... And I think everyone here knows what I mean... I just feel so trapted he lectures me like all the time everyday about how I never do anything right... I feel stuck with him,.

About his outfits I dont like wearing them I hate it. I dont feel comfortable in them then its like if I dont wear them he well u can tell hes mad like hes thinking look at all the stuff ive dont for u..... HElp I feel like im going to loose my mind!!!!!!!!! with this man!!!!

Like I know i shouldent lie to him but I do it so I can get away from seeing him sometimes.. Like one time I lied that I went home right after work cause I had a headache... I was like yea I been in bed the last 2 hours cause my head hurt but im out getting something to eat right now.. Guess what he does calls my dad asking if I was there...

Another time he said his friends took a picture hanging out with someone that he thinks I shoudlent have been .. Hes like youre busted my friends took a picture of u and your friend hanging out.

I mean ive lied a lot to him too and been mean to him too but I cant handle this with him!

Everytime I do something wrong hes like Ill pray to God something bad happens to you for what you did to me... IS that right of him or not???????


Sorry this is so long... I need advice .. Sorry if some of it is hard to read. I did my best explaining this.

 

[peanutbutter12]

Well, you have the answer right in front of you already; you need to get rid of this guy. He's trying to guilt you into staying by saying that you owe him, which you don't since he did these things as a favor. He's saying that you're going to be punished by God, which you won't, and he's really low for saying something like that.

Obviously you want out of the relationship, if you can even call it that, so you need to put one foot in front of the other and do it. Though it sounds like he has a temper, so you may want to do it over the phone or with a few of your friends around.

This guy doesn't respect you and uses things against you to get what he wants. Do what you already know you need to do and get him out of your life 100%.

 

[Blackguard_]

.Hes fixed my car lots of times without charging me any labor. And hes like all these things ive done for you and this is how you repay me by listening to your friends and telling them about my outfitso ) ect......

I thought you seemed familiair.

Cod drat it!

We told you to ditch this guy MONTHS AGO!!

(I apologize if I'm remembering some other young girl who was dating an older mechanic)

COD DRAT IT LEAVE HIM ALREADY!!!

You don't owe him anything. If he's making you do stuff in exchange for fixing your car he didn't fix your car for free.

And hes asked me questions like when are we going to do it sometime...

WE TOLD YOU HE WAS A LECHEROUS ASS MONTHS AGO TOO!

AND COD DRAT IT LEAVE HIM!!

I feel like im forced to be with this guy or God will punish me....

Don't be silly. That;s the POS guilt tripping you.

Everytime I do something wrong hes like Ill pray to God something bad happens to you for what you did to me... IS that right of him or not???????

COD DRAT IT NO!!!!!!

Your boyfriend is a PIECE OF **** who has been manipulating you! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!!

COD DRAT IT LEAVE HIM!

This guy doesn't respect you and uses things against you to get what he wants. Do what you already know you need to do and get him out of your life 100%.

Sadly, we had this same thread months ago.

Ok I need some advice.

You gonna follow it this time?

Honestly, are you looking for advice or just venting?

Edit: Do you really want to end up like this Pearl Jam song?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILmftfOMQwk&eurl=http://foru.ms/t2713434&page=24

 

[JulySheMustFly]

Open your eyes and look at what you typed. You know the answer already.

This has bad news all over it.

 

[Boss_BlueAngels]

Yeah, you definitely need to drop him like a bad habbit.

 

[danstar]

you need to let the guy go, even saying something like im praying that something bad happens to you when you dont listen to him is a big red flag, you need to drop him

 

[Snowyyy]

He has no power to bring bad things to you, if you ditch him. Remember this. He just says it cos he doesn't want you to leave him and deep inside he knows that you do not have any feelings for him. Please leave him asap, cos you are not doing any good to either of you by continuing this relationship.

 

[xXxKristaxXx]

Listen, I was with a guy like that for over a year and things do not get better. I finally got the guts to leave him and it was the best thing I could have done. You shouldent feel like you owe him because you dont, do what you think is right to you and if it dosent feel right to be with him the lose him. I did and I am soo happy that I did.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Yeah, it's simple, though ridding yourself of him forever may be the problem. It wouldn't be wise to travel alone for awhile.. Will this guy go nuts when you ditch him? (There's the big age difference too..)

 

[coolchicka]

Hes like you lied to me so many times I hope u get cursed ... Hes like im praying to God... No matter how much ive been mean to him too and lied to him it isn't right for him to pray that I get cursed is it?

Ive been trying to leave him for the past months but its hard/.... Its like he always finds out all my other conversations that I have with other people about him ... And hes like you have been busted... And hes like I heard u were talking about me to someone.. And Im like who told u and hes like a source.. He gets my dad against me when I dont listen to him... He knows how to fix up homes too ok and hes like no sense you dont want to talk to me and you wanna be a blankety blankety to me now I cant help your dad get his trailor fixed up and its going to cost him big bucks now... and hes going to be mad at you sense im not going to do it now.,.Hes like you dont even give the relationship with me a chance... Which we have been going out for a year.I Im talking to my counselor about this when I visit her the 13th..

 

[xXxKristaxXx]

Have you tried talking to your dad and telling him how he treats you and that ha makes you wear clothes that you dont like? I believe that the counselor will tell you to leave him also. I was having a few problems in my family, I went to a therapist and she told me that I needed to get out of there and so I did. I've made many mistakes in relationships, one being that I stuck around way to long and the abuse just kept on getting worse (physical and mental abuse) and like I said before, if you stay in this relationship things will not get better only worse.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

If your dad doesn't support you ditching an abusive guy (WHICH THIS GUY IS), screw him too. And after all this, if you continue to ignore the truth about this guy, and continue to date him because you are too scared to make a move, then sorry, but you are now bringing it upon yourself by ALLOWING him to treat you like crap. I expect to read a thread by you within the near future about how you've finally dumped him for good. Got it?

 

[GodsoldierClintus]

Hey....

You know God doesn't just answer prayer...he answers prayer if they are according to His will. The guy praying God will curse you - it's like praying for his own demise. You need to get rid of this guy and quickly. Pray for God's protection and his hand in the solution of this problem. He is abusing you - getting you to try on leather outfits? That's ridiculous. He's using you - that's not love. In fact there doesn't seem to much love at all in the relationship - he's trying to guilt you to love him? That's just pathetic.

By leaving him - you're actually helping him. He can't do that to anyone, he obviously has problems in relationships. You don't have to put up with this &^%$ and it doesn't help him either submitting to it.

God will not punish you - He even let's his own children choose whether or not we love him. To pray a curse over someone? That shows a complete lack of knowledge on who God is, and what love is.

LEAVE!

I'll pray for you sister.

 

[Tuffguy]

Yeah, you need to pull the ejection seat on this entire deal, very fast!

You are an adult, and you need to make your own decisions. People do cannot do this for you! You have to do it yourself, or YOU alone will suffer the consequences.

 

[coolchicka]

I tried to break up with him like a week ago but hes like well you never even try to give the relationship a chance all you do is starting acting different around me when ur friends influence you. Isn't a year a chance????

Im going to have to switch churches and everything... Cause he goes to my current church thAT i have been going to sense I was a baby. Now I have to leave it.

I know what I need to do but its so hard...

 

[GodsoldierClintus]

You don't have to this alone you know - you obviously have your friends, but what about the pastor/youth leaders?

 

[andross77]

Ok I need some advice.

Theres This guy that im going out with i just turned 20 and he is 28. We Get into fights alot sometimes it is everyday. We get into fights about which friends I hang out with how he says I dont llisten to his advice. And you know some of the friends I have he doesnt even know them... But hes like whenever your around them its like your attitude changes, seems like u dont wanna be with me you know and on and on he goes. Well I dont really have feelings for him anymore but I have to pretent I do for him.HE has these leather outfits he has me try on. Tight leather jackets tight leather pants . And I feel really uncomfortable wearing them.. But I do it so I wont make him mad. Cause of all the things hes done for me.Hes fixed my car lots of times without charging me any labor. And hes like all these things ive done for you and this is how you repay me by listening to your friends and telling them about my outfits ect......

He says im going to get judged by God if I keep listening to to them... But some of the stuff they are telling me is true like he looks as old as my dad He shouldent be having me try on his outfits if I dont really want to . its my choice to not talk to him not my fruiends and he dont get it....

I feel like im forced to be with this guy or God will punish me.... But the thing is how come he doesnt get judged by God for trying to be sexual. And hes asked me questions like when are we going to do it sometime... And I think everyone here knows what I mean... I just feel so trapted he lectures me like all the time everyday about how I never do anything right... I feel stuck with him,.

About his outfits I dont like wearing them I hate it. I dont feel comfortable in them then its like if I dont wear them he well u can tell hes mad like hes thinking look at all the stuff ive dont for u..... HElp I feel like im going to loose my mind!!!!!!!!! with this man!!!!

Like I know i shouldent lie to him but I do it so I can get away from seeing him sometimes.. Like one time I lied that I went home right after work cause I had a headache... I was like yea I been in bed the last 2 hours cause my head hurt but im out getting something to eat right now.. Guess what he does calls my dad asking if I was there...

Another time he said his friends took a picture hanging out with someone that he thinks I shoudlent have been .. Hes like youre busted my friends took a picture of u and your friend hanging out.

I mean ive lied a lot to him too and been mean to him too but I cant handle this with him!

Everytime I do something wrong hes like Ill pray to God something bad happens to you for what you did to me... IS that right of him or not???????


Sorry this is so long... I need advice .. Sorry if some of it is hard to read. I did my best explaining this.

simple answer, hard for someone of your personality to do.

Anyone who guilts you into being in a relationship for any reason is not someone you should be with. End of story. Love is free. Love is kind. Love is about others (not yourself). This guy is not showing you this kind of love.

Leave him. Every day with this type of person is a waste of your life.

 

[Chocolatesa]

Ditto what everyone else said. Keep praying, God will help you through this. Break up with the guy, God has someone far better in mind for you.

 

[Blackguard_]

I tried to break up with him like a week ago but hes like well you never even try to give the relationship a chance all you do is starting acting different around me when ur friends influence you. Isn't a year a chance????

It's plain the SOB can play you like a fiddle, so stop putting yourself in situations where he can manipulate you.

Breaking up does not have to be a bilateral agreement. Just start ignoring him and act like he doesn't exist. Don't hang out with him, don't answer his calls, if you don't have caller ID or he gets through or around it, hangup as soon as you know it's him, don't try making speeches, don't so much as give him the time of day. Don't even acknowledge his presence if he's standing 2 feet away from you. Ignore him. Change your phone number if you have to.

Most importanly, don't listen to him. I don't know what happened a week ago, but my guess is you let him talk instead of just walking away and tuning him out like you should have after making some sort of "I'm leaving you!" speech. Don't give him a chance to explain or talk or whatver BS he tries to use on you.

It's best if you cease ALL contact with him immediately. It does not need an Official Break-Up™ from you, nor do you owe him one.

You don't need to confront him, you need to run away from him.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

Don't call him. Don't answer his calls. Don't open the door for him if he shows up at your house. Travel with a girlfriend who will support you or tell him to go home if you don't have it in you.

If you have to go to a different church. Do it. If the people ther truly give two flips about you they will understand and encourage you to do what you need to do and they will still be there. If not then what did it matter if you wnet to that building or not?

You know what you need to do now make it happen. Stop giving him the power. He is not your husband. He is not your father and he is not your God. He has no power over you unless you let him. Stop letting him. So find the strength in Christ to walk away from this guy and not turn around.