- Aug 7, 2005
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I have been in college for less than a month now and I have already lost my motivation. I went to a christian school in St. Paul MN for a while and I left after my first semester. I am having a really hard time being motivated and even getting to class. I make excuses for my actions and I can justify about anything. In reality I really like school and find it very interesting, but it is not working.
I have two theories of why this is.....
The first is spiritual warfare. Motivation and taking care of my responsibilities have not and are not my strong points. I believe that Satan is using this as a way to keep me from going on to what God wants me to do in my life. I let Satan use this in me to keep me unmotivated and apathetic about the whole situation. This will keep me from moving on in life and actualy accomplish what God wants me to do.
The second is a little history about me. When I was between the ages of 12 and 18 I used a lot of drugs. That was my way of coping with things and it gave me a rush and a thrill. I think this part of my personallity is detrimental to my success. I know that I love when things are exciting and new, but when the thrill is gone and it becomes a commitment I usually look for something new to excite me. This make my college life really hard. In the begining it is new and exciting, but when that wears off I can't do it and it makes me move on to something else. Unfortunatly my commitment and devotion to God can be the same way sometimes. I fast and I am high on God, but when I am not excited about Him I put Him on the back burner. I guess this is the example of thanking and thinking of God when you are happy and forgetting and being apathetic when you are down (when you are most in need of Him).
I know this about my personality, and I know that it is bad, but how do I fix it? How do I stay focused in the times when the only thing I want to do is find something better to do? How do I stay devoted when that is the last thing on my mind? And for the reason I put this in the College forum, How do I get through my four years of school?
Anything would be helpful......
If you took the time to read this, please pray for me and give me some feed back. Thank you.
I have two theories of why this is.....
The first is spiritual warfare. Motivation and taking care of my responsibilities have not and are not my strong points. I believe that Satan is using this as a way to keep me from going on to what God wants me to do in my life. I let Satan use this in me to keep me unmotivated and apathetic about the whole situation. This will keep me from moving on in life and actualy accomplish what God wants me to do.
The second is a little history about me. When I was between the ages of 12 and 18 I used a lot of drugs. That was my way of coping with things and it gave me a rush and a thrill. I think this part of my personallity is detrimental to my success. I know that I love when things are exciting and new, but when the thrill is gone and it becomes a commitment I usually look for something new to excite me. This make my college life really hard. In the begining it is new and exciting, but when that wears off I can't do it and it makes me move on to something else. Unfortunatly my commitment and devotion to God can be the same way sometimes. I fast and I am high on God, but when I am not excited about Him I put Him on the back burner. I guess this is the example of thanking and thinking of God when you are happy and forgetting and being apathetic when you are down (when you are most in need of Him).
I know this about my personality, and I know that it is bad, but how do I fix it? How do I stay focused in the times when the only thing I want to do is find something better to do? How do I stay devoted when that is the last thing on my mind? And for the reason I put this in the College forum, How do I get through my four years of school?
Anything would be helpful......
If you took the time to read this, please pray for me and give me some feed back. Thank you.