Heartbeat of the Desert
Rain in the desert is beautiful and eerie. The
Massive forms of the Catalina Mountains are
Shrouded in a gray, umbrageous canopy,
Banished to memories of sunny days. Thunder
Rolls across the Tucson valley, echoing the
Numinous language of the monsoon. Hail, wind
And rain raise their voices above the thunder in a
Three-part harmony. Staccato music is heard in
The midst of the deluge. Its rhythm is the heart-
Beat of the desert. Slowly, the intensity of the
Monsoon ebbs. Globules of rain hang from
Cactus spines, appearing to be windows to a
World of desert sprites. Water settles into rippling
Mirrors that soon disappear when the showering
Ceases. Birds chirp their applause for the splendid
Show. Clouds part like curtains, allowing the
Last droplets of rain to take their bows, and
Let the first rays of sunshine peak through.
The sunshine glitters in resplendent droplet
Jewels, and a rainbow stretches like a banner
In the sky.
Hey all of you fellow southwestern people! I need your help. Could you please critique my poem, tell my if I've captured the right feelings and stuff. I'm thinking about entering it in a poetry contest, so I'd really appreciate any comments/suggestions. Be ruthless, I need someone to judge my poem as they would a professional's, like a judge at the contest would do.
Rain in the desert is beautiful and eerie. The
Massive forms of the Catalina Mountains are
Shrouded in a gray, umbrageous canopy,
Banished to memories of sunny days. Thunder
Rolls across the Tucson valley, echoing the
Numinous language of the monsoon. Hail, wind
And rain raise their voices above the thunder in a
Three-part harmony. Staccato music is heard in
The midst of the deluge. Its rhythm is the heart-
Beat of the desert. Slowly, the intensity of the
Monsoon ebbs. Globules of rain hang from
Cactus spines, appearing to be windows to a
World of desert sprites. Water settles into rippling
Mirrors that soon disappear when the showering
Ceases. Birds chirp their applause for the splendid
Show. Clouds part like curtains, allowing the
Last droplets of rain to take their bows, and
Let the first rays of sunshine peak through.
The sunshine glitters in resplendent droplet
Jewels, and a rainbow stretches like a banner
In the sky.
Hey all of you fellow southwestern people! I need your help. Could you please critique my poem, tell my if I've captured the right feelings and stuff. I'm thinking about entering it in a poetry contest, so I'd really appreciate any comments/suggestions. Be ruthless, I need someone to judge my poem as they would a professional's, like a judge at the contest would do.
