Help Me I Have Nowhere Else To Go!!!!!

[not4sale]

I'll start from the beginning:

I lost my virginity when I was 15. I felt horrible and dirty. I asked God for my purity back and I believe he given it to me. But ever since then my sexual drive has been off the charts. I've found a good christian girl that I love and would never take advantage of. God sent her as a blessing. I know sex ouside of marriage is wrong, but its like I can't control the drive. Here recently this other girl came onto me and said she wanted to have sex with me. I told her I would have sex with her. So we sent eachother inappropriate pictures of ourselves. After sending and receiving the pictures I realized what I was doing was wrong. I realized I had just cheated on the love of my life and betrayed God. I promised my girlfriend I would never cheat on her, and betrayed God after he blessed me with her. I told the girl wanting to have sex with me that I loved God and my girlfriend too much to go through with this. She was irritated, but I didn't care. I am too ashamed of myself to tell my girlfriend what has happened. But the guilt is overwhelming, what should I do?

 

[HolyOne87]

I'll start from the beginning:

I lost my virginity when I was 15. I felt horrible and dirty. I asked God for my purity back and I believe he given it to me. But ever since then my sexual drive has been off the charts. I've found a good christian girl that I love and would never take advantage of. God sent her as a blessing. I know sex ouside of marriage is wrong, but its like I can't control the drive. Here recently this other girl came onto me and said she wanted to have sex with me. I told her I would have sex with her. So we sent eachother inappropriate pictures of ourselves. After sending and receiving the pictures I realized what I was doing was wrong. I realized I had just cheated on the love of my life and betrayed God. I promised my girlfriend I would never cheat on her, and betrayed God after he blessed me with her. I told the girl wanting to have sex with me that I loved God and my girlfriend too much to go through with this. She was irritated, but I didn't care. I am too ashamed of myself to tell my girlfriend what has happened. But the guilt is overwhelming, what should I do?

to tell you the truth, I would be more angry if the guy didn't tell me. Because one can find out by another means about it. Its better if YOU told her rather then her finding out in another way.

My ex cheated on me a few times and he never told me about it. I stumbled upon messages and pictures one day that he sent and ones he received from another girl and I was furious because he didn't tell me at all.

It's best for you to tell her rather then something like that happening. I know that will be hard and I am sure she will be very upset and angry herself, but she will feel a little consolation that you actually told her.

I can't predict what will happen after that however. You have to be prepared for everything..She will ask you, "why", "how come", etc. Just be truthful and honest.
Does she know you have a hard time controlling your urges, or is your relationship still in the early weeks/months to share anything like that yet?

 

[eatenbylocusts]

If there is any way at all that she might find out about this, it would be better to hear it from you. Do you have some Christian men you can be accountable to? A group like that would be good to go to for prayer first. It would be good to have a plan in place that would keep you from going down this road again, and it would be good if you could share it with her at the same time.

If you're not in a committed relationship, I don't think you should be telling her this unless it's likely someone else might tell her.

 

[not4sale]

We are seriously dating. I just don't want to hurt her. I don't care what happens to me. I just don't want to see her cry because of me. There is absolutely no way she would find out either. I've been such a good person and I made one mistake.

I feel so stupid. Why couldn't I have made this mistake before I started dating her?! Why did I make it at all?! I'm so ashamed of myself.

She has no idea about my urges, but she does, however, know that I'm not a virgin. I'm not usually a person who cries, but I would have if I hadn't held back the tears. I love her and want the very best for her. The only reason I haven't told her is for her sake, not my own. I need prayer.

 

[Blank123]

praying

i do think you need to tell her. Yes she's going to be extremely hurt by what you did because what you did was a betrayal to her. Letting her believe that you have always been faithful to her is a lie. And yes if your relationship does get past this its going to take a long time for her to be able to trust you again. so be prepared for that.

but all i know is it would kill me if one day i found out years down the road that my bf did something like that and he didn't even tell me what had been going on. I know you say its because you care about her you're not telling her but thats not how its going to come across to her. Its going to look like this is something you just didn't want to confess because you didn't want to get in trouble. It will probably make her wonder what else you haven't told her about what happened while the two of you were together. This was a slip-up, a bad one, but this is something that might be forgiven over time. Its not something that should be hidden though. She needs to know who you are.

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

I would have to agree about being honest with your gf. I would just show her this thread and she can see how bad you feel & how much she means to you. And yes, she will be hurt by your actions, but then she'll get over it and realize what a great, honest Christian guy she has.

And if she didn't get over it, then she wouldn't be worth staying together with anyway.

for you!

And I commend you for being a man and not giving in to sexual tempations!!!!
I'm a woman and I wish I would've been smarter with the choices I've made.

 

[restlesslilly]

Definitely tell her! Basing your relationship on lies is not stable ground. It will just get worse. If you keep this from her then you will be tempted to keep any other mistakes you make from her as well. If you expect this to be a long term relationship, you can't treat it like a simple fling. Which keeping important things like this would be.
You made a mistake, and now you must accept the consequences. Since you didn't go through with it, she might understand and forgive you. I commend you for that and pray you will stay strong. I know it is very very hard to stay chaste.

Tell her in some way, and suggest trying to beat these temptations together. Girls have sex drives too. Maybe you could make a habit of praying together for chasity and strength?

I wish you the best and God Bless

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Tough question. Seriously, only God can answer this one.

 

[Nobility]

I guess my way of looking at this is if in years to come you marry her, how can you look at yourself and know you still haven't told her as she walks down the aisle to you? That's all the truth there is in this to me.

I understand it's hard.. I really do... After 2 month dating a guy (who I'd planned to marry), a previous boyfriend took advantage of a uh delicate situation I was in and "things" happened. Whilst it wasn't all my fault, I did have the power to stop it and didn't. The next day I wrote a letter explaining what happened and explaining how I would keep myself out of those type of situations from then on. He was mad, yes, but he did forgive (me and the guy involved in future). We had a great relationship for about a year after this other reasons for it ending).

The moral of the story is, that this

 

[Special_J]

Hey bro. I just want to encourage you to know that Jesus has taken all your sins onto himself and now you're covered by His blood which washes you clean of these sins. Have you gone to God and repented and asked for His forgiveness yet? That has gotta be first order of business.

Next, I would say for you to tell her honestly what happened. I know it's not at all easy because I know how it feels to be the cause of tears rolling down your loved one's face and it sucks big time. I have kept things inside for a long long time because I thought that bottling them up was more beneficial because I thought they would hurt my girlfriend. In the end, when it got just too much to bear, I had to tell her and get it out into the open. I can't tell you how your girl will take the news, but I feel you've got to be the man in this situation and stand up and be accountable for your actions.

You've got to take responsibility for what happened and you have to set a precedent in this relationship of honesty and openness and repentance.

I know it sucks to hurt your girlfriend, but if we're being honest, we'd be fools to think that we could go through life and not hurt them, and you've both got to realise that you are not perfect and you will sin against one another, but only by being honest can you get your problems out into the open so that they can be prayed through and discussed.

I'll be praying for you, buddy.