lust and envy are the thorns in my soul they are the 2 sins I constantly commit either unwillingly or on purpose for the last 2 and a half years I have been giving it my all to become closer to him I try so hard with lust I learned that looking at a woman with shameful and unholy thoughts is the equivalent of adultery breaking the ten commandments and with envy I try so hard to improve on my self a physically and mentally I even try to strengthen my spirit I read his word I pray every night Ik he loves me and forgives me but I don't want t 2 sin I feel like im just spitting in gods face buhdist monks give up woman and let go of all earthly desire why cant I be like that please someone help me anybody thank you for your time God bless