Help - i think i hate my dad

[Saricharity]

Hugs Anonymous
May I ask how old you are?
Being a Preachers kid is NOT easy is it? It's like living in a fishbowl. Everyone and I mean everyone is watching you and just waiting until you mess up.
I actually don't believe for a minute you hate your dad. I believe you felt extremely frustrated with him and I also believe things may have been building up within you.
There are times I want to scream and have a huge temper fit, and sadly I do sometimes allow myself to succumb to them. Parents can be frustrating and having a father as a pastor can be even worse. And your dads reaction was typical too. I could picture the whole thing in my minds eye. I have lost my temper and have had to listen to the lecture about self control and maturity yada yada. Usually once I cool down, I realize I was out of line. I think if you look deep in your heart, you will know that as well.
I had a wonderful, insightful chat with my grandma one day which helped me. She helped me see things from my dads point of view and it really helped. I've been going through my own rebellious stage. Being a teenager is NOT easy on the best of days. We have so much to think about and figuring out our place in this world can make my head spin. Plus sometimes you just get sick of people controlling your every step.
My best advice is to have a heart to heart with your dad. And before you freak out and say it's pointless or he won't listen, take a step back and remember a time when you looked at your dad as your hero. He actually hasn't changed. He's still the same guy.
HUGS
Keep your chin up, keep talking and don't be afraid to hug your dad and tell him you love him. Sometimes dads need to hear that mushly stuff.

 

[now faith]

thanks

Thank God for you Blue,much better than I would say!
I would say they need their backside lit up

 

[Saricharity]

Thank God for you Blue,much better than I would say!
I would say they need their backside lit up

Not everything can be solved with a lit up backside.
Reasoning and genuine communication and LISTENING works with teenagers.

 

[Bluelion]

Thank God for you Blue,much better than I would say!
I would say they need their backside lit up

thanks brother.

 

[JLR1300]

I, having assurance problems, have asked God to save me so many times in my life. I believe Jesus died for me, rose again for me, and I have confessed my sins to Him. I want to live like Him and when I sin it hurts me inside and I am aware of my sin. I don't appreciate people telling me they don't think I'm saved, because I have struggled with that enough. If I've asked God to save me, and I'm trying to live a godly life, what more is there? How can I not be saved? Does God not want me to be saved? By the way I apologized to my dad.. I just have mixed feelings.. I don't know how I feel about him. I don't think I hate him. I was very angry last night. But you all saying I'm not a Christian makes me feel bad. How am I not if I believe in Jesus and have confessed my sin?

I used to have assurance problems too. The problem is that people teach an understanding of salvation which says that faith in Christ is not enough ...but that you have to be totally submissive to Christ and Love Him supremely and be completely sorry for all sin and be fully resolved to turn from all sin and be absolutely committed to obeying all God's commands before you can be saved. They almost demand that you be perfect before you can become a Christian. They are legalists.... even though they are sincere and are really trying to give you good advise out of love.

The problem with that view is that you can never really have any assurance of salvation because you can never really know how committed you were when you prayed for salvation and how much love you had for Jesus and how sincere you really were about letting go of all sins, etc, etc. Maybe there was one little area that you weren't willing to give to the Lord and so you aren't really saved.

Of course that is a wrong view of salvation. Paul said salvation is "not by works lest any man should boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9) Also he said "but to him who does not work but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is accounted for righteousness" (Romans 4:5) So salvation is by believing...not by moral works and attempts to be good and godly. But what must you believe? Simply this:

You must trust and believe that even though you are a wicked sinner who can do nothing whatsoever to save yourself, nevertheless, you are now automatically saved and right with God simply because Jesus died for your sins and rose again. That is faith in Jesus. You give up on your attempt to save yourself by any moral works or commitments and completely trust Him to save you.

So just tell Jesus that. Say Jesus I am so sinful that I can do nothing to save myself or to even help save myself. So I put my soul in your hands and I simply trust you to save me and take me to heaven and I trust your blood to cover my sin and make me right with God.

After that you will not often doubt your salvation because if you are just trusting and relying on Jesus to save you then your salvation is no longer your problem it is His. You can just rest in His promise that all who come to Him for salvation are saved and that all who believe on Him for salvation have eternal life.

Don't listen to the legalists because you will NEVER have any assurance of your salvation like that.

But after you have trusted Christ for salvation.... ask the Holy Spirit to Help you to love your dad. He will help you to do it. But you don't have to love your Dad in order to be saved... after you trust Christ for salvation you will just begin to do it because of God's grace to you His daughter who is a daughter by faith in Jesus. Have a great day and may God bless you!!!

 

[now faith]

Not everything can be solved with a lit up backside.
Reasoning and genuine communication and LISTENING works with teenagers.

Reasoning with a Badger can work sometimes as well.

 

[anonymous123454]

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[anonymous123454]

Thank you so much brothers and sisters in Christ; I am assured now. I know I do not hate my father; I just struggle with anger. About a week ago I heard what I thought was a gunshot outside where my dad was fixing the grill. I freaked out and thought he got shot or something, and that is when I realized I really do love my father and don't want anything bad to happen to him. I just have to work on loving him more and being more like Christ! Thank you all who spent time writing to me for encouragement. It means a lot; thank you so much!!! God Bless!!