Help for my marriage

[mlukas]

My advice
1)don't do it
2) don't do it
3) don't do it
you already know it is wrong and the reasons why. And no matter how you rationalize it, even with a biblical verse (Romans), it is no exuse.
YOU as the husband need to take the lead to fix this. You already know you both work too much. So work less. Spend more time at home. Spend more time with each other. THAT is the ONLY way your marriage will ever be rebuilt.
You need to ask yourself, what is all the extra work getting you? A bigger house? A new car? Another vacation at some posh resort? More stuff to fill a large house with?
So what...
It's not a sin to be rich and successfull but it IS a sin to love money more than your wife and family (see 1 Timothy 6:10 "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.")
Only you can determine whether this is the case. But I have a feeling that it is.
All the money, success, and acolades will mean nothing if your marriage and family falls apart. A successfull career is a poor substitute for the loss of these things.
And that is what will happen if you continue on with this woman, and you know it.
Just an opinion.

M

PS just read your last post..good for you! Still, cut down on the work.
And forget about "practical". This isn't a business, but the woman you love. Practical has nothing to do with it. Fly out and meet her!

 

[Devasha]

ontheedge-- SOOOOOOOO happy to hear about your decision!

Setting your mind is the hardest part. I'm sure each step of obedience will bring blessings to you and your family.

 

[all4peace]

Please keep this in mind. . . the LORD comes first in our lives. And for those who are married. . . our spouses come next. And for those who have children, our kids are third. This woman friend of yours has no place in that lineup. If you put God first. . . and not ignore Him. . . you will do the right thing and be blessed for it. If you ignore what God wants for you, then you will reap the consequences from it. Your wife needs to do the same. If you show her how much you care and love her, she may just mirror that. After all, God made you the spiritual leader of your family. . . you would be hurting your children as well by not heeding God's words. Marriage can be difficult at times. . .but with God at the forefront. . . I believe anything can be worked out. He has worked miracles in my own marriage. Praying for you and your family. . . .

 

[BigNorsk]

One thing that you did that is certainly the easy thing but doesn't really work is that due to her writing to him, you shut up and gave her the cold shoulder. Now that might work if something is in real early stages so she wouldn't feel like she was giving up much to keep you happy, but right now, she probably feels closer to him than to you. There is the very real possibility that if you said something like she had to stop immediately or else...she might just take the or else.

You need to go after her, to act a bit more like you are dating and not her husband and there's this other potential suitor she is might choose.

I would suggest keeping on talking, not the cold shoulder. Look what happened when you gave her the cold shoulder. She kept on communicating with him, which made her feel closer to him, and she was getting punished by you which made her feel further away from you.

She should stop her relationship with him, but it's difficult for you to make her do that right now.

You actually have quite an advantage, she probably, just like you, really does want to do what is right. Don't make the choice one of doing the right thing and thinking she is going to be unhappy, or doing the wrong and thinking she is going to be happy.

Marv

 

[melandshanetria]

I will be praying for you....Be encouraged and don't give up the fight.