Help for a Friend

[TwistedLogic]

I know this board is specifically for people who struggle with SI, but I don't know where else I can ask this.

I have a very good friend (not a Christian, for what's that's worth) who recently told me that she was cutting again. We live hundreds of miles apart so we can't actually talk to each other face-to-face. The only way we can stay in touch is email, phone, and IM. What I want to know is what can I do from afar to help her out? Of course, I've been praying for her, but what else can I do?

If you have any questions about the situation, post it here but I won't see it until this weekend becuaue I'll be on a retreat with my youth group.

Thanks, guys.

 

[Im-revived]

I would say well done, you have come to the right place, a problem shared is a problem halved so they say,even if its regarding someone else.

This kind of situation is very hard, you have someone you know only by phone, Email or whatever, but even though you have that contact because you havn't met the person you obviously won't know how bad a SI/SH she is. What id suggest is if you can stay talking to her, try and find or get her to find services in her area to help. Even give her this site, be honest tell her its a Christian site, but explain also that there is a forum on it for SI issues, if you notice it actually says on that forum open to all members, you don't have to be a Christian. If you led her to that, theres no doubt too she will probebly look at other areas as well. Also encourage her to see a doctor, several reasons for that, she can be referred to a specialist through a doctor, but also to make sure she hasn't got any infections from cutting. See how you go on and keep praying for her!

Im-revived

I know this board is specifically for people who struggle with SI, but I don't know where else I can ask this.

I have a very good friend (not a Christian, for what's that's worth) who recently told me that she was cutting again. We live hundreds of miles apart so we can't actually talk to each other face-to-face. The only way we can stay in touch is email, phone, and IM. What I want to know is what can I do from afar to help her out? Of course, I've been praying for her, but what else can I do?

If you have any questions about the situation, post it here but I won't see it until this weekend becuaue I'll be on a retreat with my youth group.

Thanks, guys.

 

[TwistedLogic]

Okay, thanks. That helps.

 

[Hidden face_Hurting heart]

The people who've helped me the MOST with stopping cutting and SI have been people that live very far away- people that I've never met in person. Actually, I've NEVER found help at home. I've always wanted to, but every time I try it just seems more impossible. Anyway, I just want to encourage you that you can be a huge help, even though you live far away. My friends that I've made online- especially from CF- are the people who are always here for me.

Specific things my friends have done to help me are things like just listening- asking what it was that made me cut, and then just listening and being understanding. It took me a while to open up, and it was hard, because I didn't always know what my motive was, but figuring that out with a friend helped me to identify what was causing it, which in turn helped me to recognize my triggers before it got too bad to stop before I did something. Something else was that even though my friends were understanding about the cutting, they never stopped asking me and telling me to STOP. Yes, they were understanding, and knew that it would probably happen again, and that they would be there for me as well, but if they just said stuff like "It will be even longer till the next time you do it" then it wouldn't give me motive to fight. Them asking me to stop, pleading with me, both let me know they cared, and that they believed it was possible for me to stop. They didn't shove it at me, like "If you don't stop then I won't be your friend"- I always knew that they would be there for me, regardless of what happened, but at the same time, I HAD to know that they didn't like what I was doing, that they thought it was a big deal, even if I didn't. If they just accepted my behavior, then it reinforced my idea that it was ok, that it didn't matter, and that there was no use in trying to stop, because I wouldn't be able to anyway. My friends would also give me challenges- like ask me one night "Hannah, please don't cut tomorrow, just tomorrow- you can do it. Do it for me." They would just ask for one day at a time, and I never promised them anything except to do my best, but it gave me something to try for.

I don't know your friend, so she may be different than me, but I hope that helps a little. God bless you for wanting to help her. The world needs more people like you.