Hi Waxlion!
It's very hard for a person to quit smoking, and sometimes, even best intentions fall flat. I know that in your heart right now, you feel like you're watching your mom kill herself. And it's okay...That's the love in your heart manifesting itself.
But, first off, please don't expect your mom to thoroughly embrace what you suggest to her. Smokers have a lot of "blinders"...Normally, they are comfortable in their situation, even when they know it isn't healthy. A smoker often feels that cancer, high blood pressure, COPD/lung cancer, etc., can harm every smoker but them. He/she feels that the cough isn't so bad, that the warnings about smoking aren't really that dire, that it's being blown out of proportion by non-smokers. A smoker lives in a state of denial. They cannot smell the stale cigarette smoke on their (or other smokers) clothes, hair, in their vehicles or in the home, so therefore it must not exist...Right?
Then, there's the lie of the addiction itself. Many smokers report of feeling they "NEED" cigarettes, that it's the only friend that they have which never abandons them. When I smoked, I justified it by saying that smoking was the only thing which kept me sane. I've heard others justify it by saying it's their only vice, or the only indulgence they have.
In all reality, addiction works by altering chemicals in the brain, so therefore a lot of the addiction is situated there. It's easier to quit hoeroin and cocaine than it is to quit smoking. Your mom may appreciate all the information you give her, but she may not quite be ready to take those steps yet. Just be supportive of her, and give her the resources anways. When it comes time for her to quit, she will remember you.
I'd like to give you a few statistics.
1. Out of everyone who attempts to quit smoking without any help on a particular day, only 7% will still be smoke-free after one year.
2. Of that group, only 80% (5 people!) will make it to two years smoke-free. However, at two years, the quitter has an 80% chance of staying smoke-free for life!
I bring this up because I've found that quitting smoking is a process which almost demands a don't-go-it-alone approach. Support, commisseration and fellowship while quitting are vital. The person who quits must know about the addiction, so that when each craving hits, they will be able to defeat it. They have to know what smoking does, to motivate them to stay quit. They have to know that others have passed through the Valley, and that they're not going crazy while becoming smoke-free.
I'd love to say that this forum is the best for quitting smoking, but it's not busy enough to provide the total support necessary for quitting. About.com has an incredible smoking cessation forum (enter those keywords in the search), and it also has the tools necessary to help a recovering smoker reach their goals. I couldn't have done my quit without everyone there. I also used Chantix, so you might want to suggest that to your mom, too. Especially if she has tried to quit before, and failed.
Above all, don't condemn your mother or belittle her for her addiction when you present the information. Smokers really are captives, and it takes a mighty struggle to get free. Often, it takes many struggles. I should know -- it took me 18 failed quits before God brought me to the life of a nonsmoker.
She's so blessed to have a child who cares so much! God bless you both.
