Hello :)

[Tayloralexandra]

Hello everyone.

I am very glad I have found this forum. I will start by explaining my story in short.

I'm 24 years old and was raised in a christian family. For as long as I remember I have struggled my whole life with different events. My mother was abused by my father from when I was 6 years old. Untill my dad started being abusive towards me. My brother then got heavily into drugs and became a very violent person. I was abused on a daily basis for years untill I moved out at the age of 22. I have mental health problems now, though still no diagnosis, but I have been diagnosed with several issues. Ocd, bipolar, schizophrenia, schizoaffective and so on. I strongly believe it's not a name, its the devil still trying to fight me away from god. I have nearly died twice in my life, through being anorexic and an overdose. Most of my family all suffer from mental health problems or physical illness. I also struggle with my sexuality everyday of my life. But no I am here years laterm I still suffer everyday, but I'm trying to find the Lord again, he has always been there, he always will be there, even when I get days where I think, where is my help lord, but he is there for me. I thought I would join to be supported, and to hopefully support others. I would be grateful for your prayers. Thank you.

 

[Chilaha]

Hi Tayloralexrandra. Praying for you.

 

[Tayloralexandra]

Thank you!

 

[Q Tip]

Praying for you and also Welcome.

 

[Tigger45]

Hi Taylor welcome to CF! This forum

Mental Health has many subforums that might prove helpful to you

 

[Ready4Chapter2]

Hi Tayloralexandra, welcome to CF. So unfortunate to the degree your life has been challenged, it certainly sounds as though you have God's spirit to have survived so much. I'm glad you have come here to seek the help and support, but also to share your experiences to help others. Sending out prayers for you dear friend, may God's blessings help to boost your already strong spirit.

 

[Tayloralexandra]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and for being so supportive, and also for the blessings! and thank you tigger45 I will be sure to check out the mental health forum bit God bless you all.

 

[LottyH]

Hi Tayloralexandra, so glad you have found this forum - you'll find lots of support. I've met lots of lovely people.

I'm no expert but it sounds like after what you've been through it would be impossible not to have any mental injuries. My heart really goes out to you and I pray for your recovery and healing. I'm glad you are trying to find the Lord!

I hope you are living in a safe place now. You mentioned a Christian family, were you talking about your mum?

 

[Tayloralexandra]

Thank you lotty, I am glad I have found this place to!. I completly agree that I think my mental health problems are due to past issues. I am safe from violence now, but still get emotional abuse from both my parents at times. Everyone say's not to talk to them, but They are my parents, and You can't help but love them no matter what. My grandparents on my mother's side are Christians, as well is my mother, but I feel like my mum and dad have both lost God and I hope one day they find him again!

 

[LottyH]

Thank you lotty, I am glad I have found this place to!. I completly agree that I think my mental health problems are due to past issues. I am safe from violence now, but still get emotional abuse from both my parents at times. Everyone say's not to talk to them, but They are my parents, and You can't help but love them no matter what. My grandparents on my mother's side are Christians, as well is my mother, but I feel like my mum and dad have both lost God and I hope one day they find him again!

I would find it really difficult to be around people who are abusive, I would want to stay as far away as possible as it would affect me deeply. Have you told your parents what they are doing is hurting you?

 

[Tayloralexandra]

I do find it very hard at times. I don't see them much, but I still sometimes have phone contact. I have explained many times they have hurt me and they still are, but they say sorry, only to do it again. My parents split up 5 years ago, so they tend to phone me to say some nasty things about the other parent. Which I find wrong, yes I am 24, I'm an adult, but I'm still the their child, so I think they should express there feelings about the other to a friend and not to me. I think deep down I blame myself for them splitting up as my Nan always used to tell me (At the age of about 8) It's my job to keep them together, God wants me to keep us together as a family, which I tried so hard to do and I feel like I failed. But somewhere in my heart I know it is not my fault, its the devil, he was trying to break our family down, and still today he does. Sorry for the long reply, I just feel like I need someone to talk to about all of this, as I have never really opened up before. Thank you for your kind words, all of you, it really has made me feel blessed that there is people out there that will pray for me.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

Hello!!

Welcome to Christian Forums! I am so glad that you decided to join the site. This site is full of wonderful Christians who love to praise God, fellowship and just have a good time. I am sure that you will quickly meet many new brothers and sisters in Christ. If you are wondering where a good place to get started on the site would be, I would recommend that you check out the Edification and Life Stages boards. Edification allows you to participate in Biblical studies, to ask other Christians questions, and to post prayer requests. Life Stages is designed for people to meet and talk to people at different stages in their lives. There are many more options on this site, and if you would like for me to recommend some more for you please feel free to send me a private message.

To access the women's forum you will have to request access.
There is a sticky thread in the How To Forum to request access:
If you have trouble accessing the Women's forum - post here.

You need 50 posts to be able to include links/images in your posts.

You need 100 posts to be able to participate in the chat box.

I would also recommend that you check out the Blessings Exchange. This board allows you to play games and participate in fellowship threads to earn extra blessings, the site's currency. You can use your blessings for such things as purchasing items for your Living Avatar or creating a Pet.

The simplest way to earn blessings is by posting. You may earn anywhere from 5-10 blessings per post depending on post size. You may also get a Job here at Christian Forums to earn extra blessings. All you are required to do is post and collect your salary every week! The more you post, the more blessings you earn. You must have at least 100 posts to select a job. After you start earning blessings, you can deposit those blessings in a savings account at the Christian Forums Bank. By depositing your blessings in a savings account, you are able to collect a 1% interest on those savings each week! I do advise you to only deposit blessings once per week since the timer resets each time you deposit or withdraw blessings.

Two forums to easily add posts in are Blessing Exchange and the Recreation Room.
In the Forum Number Games forum (under Rec Room) you can simply count.

If you have any forum related questions, just click here. If you still have questions, feel free to send me a private message and I'll do the best I can to help.

Army Wife -•- Your CF Welcoming Angel

 

[Krissy Cakes]

I'm praying for you!

 

[Tayloralexandra]

Thank you for the infomation and prayers army-wife

 

[Tayloralexandra]

Hey Fetriyo!

 

[LottyH]

I do find it very hard at times. I don't see them much, but I still sometimes have phone contact. I have explained many times they have hurt me and they still are, but they say sorry, only to do it again. My parents split up 5 years ago, so they tend to phone me to say some nasty things about the other parent. Which I find wrong, yes I am 24, I'm an adult, but I'm still the their child, so I think they should express there feelings about the other to a friend and not to me. I think deep down I blame myself for them splitting up as my Nan always used to tell me (At the age of about 8) It's my job to keep them together, God wants me to keep us together as a family, which I tried so hard to do and I feel like I failed. But somewhere in my heart I know it is not my fault, its the devil, he was trying to break our family down, and still today he does. Sorry for the long reply, I just feel like I need someone to talk to about all of this, as I have never really opened up before. Thank you for your kind words, all of you, it really has made me feel blessed that there is people out there that will pray for me.

A lot of children blame themselves for their parents break up so you are not alone in how you feel. But its not true so don’t believe the lie!! Parents shouldn't offload their thoughts to you about the each other - sadly many parents do this to their children. It is the parents responsibility to keep the family together in a safe, stable environment –you have not failed!


If you are prepared to follow God and His ways, He was reward you with eternal life where there will be no more suffering and no more tears. I’m so glad you are able to open up and talk!! After all you’ve been through, you seem to have a really gentle, beautiful spirit – you are really inspiring! I’m sure you are a real blessing to others

 

[Tayloralexandra]

Thank You Lotty, that is very kind! and you seem a very caring and gentle person to, and I am glad God brought me here to this site. This is why I keep on going, because I know god will reward me with eternal life in the end. There has been so many times, I have even thought about suicide, but after everything that has happened from violence, sexual abuse, mental health problems, God has always been there for me, he is the reason for me to keep on living.

 

[LottyH]

Thank You Lotty, that is very kind! and you seem a very caring and gentle person to, and I am glad God brought me here to this site. This is why I keep on going, because I know god will reward me with eternal life in the end. There has been so many times, I have even thought about suicide, but after everything that has happened from violence, sexual abuse, mental health problems, God has always been there for me, he is the reason for me to keep on living.

Thanks, your very kind to say that. I'm so glad to hear that God has pulled you through those tough situations. For me sometimes it feels like God isn't there when He is so quiet and it just feels like a one way conversation. I would have loved to have met Jesus when He was on earth so I could hear His voice, hug Him and see Him. But Jesus said that 'blessed are those that have not seen, and yet believe.' So although it can be a difficult journey, I guess that is what faith is all about, 'walking by faith and not by sight.' Anyway I'm so glad you haven't given up on Him

 

[Tayloralexandra]

Thank you . I understand, it is hard at time,s, when you feel like he isn't there, and it can be a struggle, but he sure is always there for all of us. It would have been great to have given him a massive hug! . I hope you are doing okay!.

 

[snoopy500]

Welcome