*raises hand* Hi! I know what you're going through because I BEEN der. Here's what I was up against: I was 17 (emotions going wild ANYWAY), already an outcast (didn't want to be even MORE of an outcast for taking meds), from a poor family (couldn't afford meds), and had SERIOUS emotional problems. When my counselor ran the psych tests on me, he said it was one of the highest positives for depression he had ever seen in 20 years of being a therapist. Whoa! Right?
My mentality was this: If I'm depressed, something is wrong. Either with me or with my surroundings. If I had something wrong with my car, I would fix it. So I'm gonna fix what's wrong with me. You're already headed that way, so BRAVO! BUT, this isn't entirely what your OP was about. You asked about how to allow yourself to let God help you. This is a hard question with a hard answer, but I will do my best to explain it.
The basic answer is that you FIGHT. Not God. Not everyone around you. Not even the Devil (even though he certainly has a hand in it). You fight against the physical habits, the mental habits, and the mindsets that drag you back down into the depths. THIS IS NOT EASY! At first, you'll lose...a lot. But then you start to win a few battles and you gain confidence until, eventually, you're all better and you can maintain your emotional health.
How do you fight? You do the opposite. I know that is going to rub every thought you have the absolute wrong way, but it WORKS. Listen to HAPPY music. Think about POSITIVE things. Look for, strive for, fight to see the GOOD side of things. Fight against the mentality of "Well this is great, BUT" or "I wanted to get _____ but _____ ALWAYS happens to keep my from what I want". Destroy those things! Gradually, you'll start to come out of the funk and the fog and you'll see the light again.
Now, as far as the meds go, I viewed them as The Great Equalizer. I had been depressed for SO long that I didn't know what it was like to be happy anymore. (Keep in mind that different meds affect people differently. They react with brain chemistry, which is a HIGHLY individualized biological component) I started on Zoloft and it wracked me like you wouldn't believe. I couldn't sleep, I woke up every morning exhausted...and I was still depressed. So, after dragging myself out of bed one morning (literally...I rolled out of bed onto the floor, I was so exhausted), I told my dad, "You have got to talk to the doctor about these meds, because if this is what being 'normal' feels like, then I'll just be depressed." I wanted to throw in the towel and that was in the first two weeks. So we changed to Paxil. Paxil worked. It put my emotions on such an even keel that it was scary for me. I was so used to having RAGING anger and RAGING depression and RAGING bitterness that when they were removed...I didn't know what to feel or even HOW to feel it. I had to learn what it meant to laugh FREELY again, I had to learn what it was like to "smile from the heart". I also had to learn to deal with my anger and my disappointment and my bitterness. I had to learn to forgive and let go and, as my uncle so aptly put it, "just be a man about it and move on!" It took some time, but I finally got it down.
The meds weren't a cure-all. But they made the negativity shut up long enough to enable me to get my emotional bearings again and see what a wonderful world we really live in.
That's all I've got for now. A book that helped me tremendously was The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck. It was written nearly forty years ago, but it was the definitive eye-opener for me. If you need anything, feel free to PM me.
Good luck and don't give up!
Jeremiah
Do not adjust your medication without consulting your doctor under any circumstances. 
The last time I felt this bad.. I returned back to church! Now I feel tested again....
