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Heading for a breakdown...

  • Thread starter squigglemonster
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squigglemonster

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Steffi said:
Friday's not over yet Hun - you could always still ring :hug:. And you know, I get what you mean about 'me me me' and I know you hate being in the center of anything, but I already know the truth and I know you're not a drama queen.

But I know what it's like to feel you need to be strong for your friends and pretend everything's ok. Pretending doesn't mean it's going to be though - it just means that the problems keep getting bigger until you can't see a way out anymore. They don't just disappear (as nice as that would be).

Hmm, I read something not long ago (well, by my typing standards :p) that I want to share with you. Someone I care a lot about wrote it and I love her words of wisdom!


Seriously, I couldn't have said it any better.
Click to expand...

Nice quote. Where did you get that from? :p

It's hypocritical, I know. I can tell others to do it, but I can't do it myself. That's just another reason I am down on myself. I'm not doing the 'poor me' thing, I"m being honest. I feel like such a hypocrite when I tell people to get help and stop hurting themselves, but then I turn around and do the same thing. I don't think I should be getting the help - there are so many people who should be before me in the line...
 
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Bamboo_Chicken

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squigglemonster said:
Nice quote. Where did you get that from? :p

It's hypocritical, I know. I can tell others to do it, but I can't do it myself. That's just another reason I am down on myself. I'm not doing the 'poor me' thing, I"m being honest. I feel like such a hypocrite when I tell people to get help and stop hurting themselves, but then I turn around and do the same thing. I don't think I should be getting the help - there are so many people who should be before me in the line...
Click to expand...
Beautiful, it's not meant to be a competition of who's worse off. You deserve to get help and there is help waiting for you, but not taking the help doesn't mean that someone else will. You have such an opportunity waiting for you here, but only you can take it.

And lol - I know you're not looking for a sympathy vote. You're not that type of person :hug:. Please though Squiggle, make that appointment. It's worth it.
 
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beckybooiloveu

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Ok...
*clears throat again* i hope your ready for this :p
IM SOOO PROUD OF YOU FOR POSTING IN HERE!!!:hug:
it is sooo hard to take a step and let things out and i am so proud of you for opening up and writing in this forum...
You say that you should be happy because u have a great life... sweetie... the demons that cause u to go through this and feel the pain dont look at your life and see if your happy or not and cause you the pain... they just do... and it is ok to admit that you are hurting. I know exactly what you mean about the having a great life and that you should be happy... i am in the same situation... and i was in denial about being depressed and still am for sooo long... but i had a stage where i opened up and i accepted that i was hurting and that i needed help... and during that time i felt sooo sooo better... it really helped... it was hard... but the results were good. really good.
I cant relate to the alcohol bit... because i am underage... (*coughs* but i do kinda understand because i have drank to the point of making myself very sick wen feeling down... but i didnt just tell you that) but sweetie... in the end... does it really help... does it really make a difference... all it does is possibly make u feel worse later...

It's hard to talk to ppl about these things... but it really does help... you dont deserve to have to live with these problems and you deserve to get help... just as much as anyone else...
i'll give you those hugs u may need:hug: ... and as steffi said about talking to a friend... i would be happy to meet up with you adn give those hugs to you in person (i miss u and would love to see u again) and i will be there for you to talk to and i will listen and give advice when you want to... and you need not worry about upsetting me or triggering me... because the truth is... i feel sooo much better when i help people... and i also dont get triggered...
And sweetie... i will stand beside you while u make an appoinment with the uni couselor if you want... i would even go with you... to give you support... you really do deserve help... and you need it... its hard to admit that you need it... but sweetie... you do... i would hate to lose you... sooo much...
I love you sooo much and you looked after me sooo much at school... all those times i was homesick and upset... please sweetie... let me help you now...
I Love you!:hug:
Bec
 
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beckybooiloveu

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please promise me... even if you dont want to talk to me... at least meet me to go for a walk or something... or just sit and catch up... i really miss you... and u didnt know anything was wrong with me... so u didnt know i needed support... just like i didnt know u needed support while u were at school... (im sorry)

did u really make u cry?
:p
 
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Soulwings

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I'm here I'm here!

Squiggle, please make that appointment. :hug: Like Steffi said, it's not a contest to see who's worse off. If you're dealing with problems, then you deserve help. It's that easy. There are people who have cut only once who are in therapy for it. There are people who have cut for years who are in therapy. There are people who have never cut and are in therapy for depression. That's just one example. I could go on and on and on with this. :hug: I thought the same way you did when I started treatment this summer. I don't deserve this, I'm not as bad off as everyone says, I've got to be strong for everyone else who is struggling, blah blah blah. It's all lies, sweetie. You can't be strong for someone else if you aren't strong yourself. You may think you can be. But you will be so much more of an encouragement (I'm not saying that you aren't an encouragement now) - let me rephrase, you will be a better encouragement if you take the leap and get help. People here and in your life aren't going to think you an attention seeker or a weakling for seeking help. They're going to think you're strong - and you know what? By getting help, you ARE being strong.

:hug::hug: I wish I could be there with you, beautiful. I wish I could put you inside my own head right now so you could see what a lovely person you are from other people's perspectives. I wish so many things for you, and many of these things are things that you yourself can achieve if you only take this one huge leap of faith. I'm pretty sure that you trust Steffi, Bec, and me, along with many others on this forum. We wouldn't lie to you in saying that treatment - whether it be therapy or meds or partial treatment or whatever - is the best thing.

I love you sis. And I really want to see you get better, because you deserve so much more. You deserve so much more. I promise you this.

:hug:
 
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squigglemonster

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:hug: Bec yes you really made me cry. Not sad cry, but cry because you showed so much love, support and friendship through your post. Thankyou so much. I promise, double promise, that we will catch up soon, this Christmas holidays, okay?? :)

:hug: April -- oh oh, reinforcements have arrived ;) Thankyou for your post. I feel much better now, I don't feel as upset. I guess it's because even though it's only lunch time, I'm having great day. I will take on board what you said, but I can't promise to act on it.
 
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squigglemonster

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beckybooiloveu said:
YAY!!! *bounces up and down* cant wait... :)
im glad your having a great day!
Click to expand...

I've been all over the place lately but so far today is good. :)

And we will have fun, I promise. :)

You know...maybe this thread should be closed? I don't know... it seems to be side-tracked now (but it's my thread, so that was obvious it would be :p)
 
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