Have you heard...?

[BlueJay180]

I understand the only people in the world who have no juvenile delinquency problem are the Eskimos (Inuits)...and it's all because of whale blubber. The minute a kid steps out of line, they whale him/her till he/she blubbers!

 

[BlueJay180]

Joe: "Did you hear the smartest person in the world is becoming deaf?"

Blow: "No, tell me about it, please."

Joe: "Uhh, what did you say?"

 

[BlueJay180]

City Slicker: "Man, look at that bunch of cows!"

Farmer: "Not bunch...herd."

City Slicker: "Heard what?"

Farmer: "Herd of cows."

City Slicker: "Sure I've heard of cows, dude."

Farmer: "No, a cow herd."

City Slicker: "Why should I care what a cow heard? I've got no secrets from a cow."

 

[BlueJay180]

What you will never see on "To Tell The Truth" and reruns of the game show:

Announcer: "Number one! What is your name please?

Man #1: "My name is Raymond J. Johnson, Jr."

Announcer: "Number two!"

Man #2: "My name is Raymond J. Johnson, Jr."

Announcer: "Number three!"

Man #3: "My name is Raymond J. Johnson, Jr. Now you can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me Ray Jay, or you can call me R.J., or you can call me R.J.J., or you can call me R.J.J.,Jr., but you doesn't have to call me Johnson."

 

[BlueJay180]

Q: What do you call a red-head standing or sitting between two blondes?

A: An interpreter.

 

[anna9559]

funny!

 

[Andrey]

Not bad not bad, are these your own?

 

[brother brian]

Vey Funny The Dog One Hehehehe

 

[brother brian]

the rest r funny tooooo hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

 

[jehovahjireh2007]

I love all of them!

 

[BlueJay180]

I have a friend who happens to be the world's laziest man whose name is Will Knott. He is so lazy, he signs his name as "Won't".

 

[BlueJay180]

Ding-Dong!
Who's there?
Herd.
Herd who?
Herd my hand because I couldn't knock-knock.

 

[eyeball10]

lol

 

[eyeball10]

lolo haha

 

[*~DJ~*]

Lol

 

[Noble_Wolf_Heart]

lol great jokes!

 

[BlueJay180]

Jeff: I always do my hardest work before breakfast."

Jake: "What's that?"

Jeff: "Getting up."

 

[BlueJay180]

What do you get when you cross peanut butter with an elephant?

You either get peanut butter that never forgets or an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

 

[BlueJay180]

I just heard of a man who met his wife at a travel bureau. She was looking for a vacation and he was the last resort.

 

[BlueJay180]

A father, whose looks are not such as to warrant the breaking up of all existing statues of Apollo and David, tells this on himself:

My little daughter was sitting on my lap facing a mirror. After gazing intently at her reflection for some minutes, she said, "Daddy, did God make you?"

"Yes, He did, honey." I told her.

"And did He make me, too?" taking another look in the mirror.

"Yes, sweetie. What makes you ask?"

"Seems to me He is doing better work lately."