Have you ever snooped on ...

[Jenster]

... someone's phone or email? If so, why? And how did you feel about it after? Did you confess to the person whose email/texts you looked at?

I tried to get into my ex-bf's email one time. We didn't have a very trusting relationship, and probably should have broken up before it got to this point. Anyway, I was wondering if he was communicating with this other woman, so I tried to get into his Yahoo! mail.

It backfired on me because I tried to get his password and it sent a note to his alternate email address. Then I had to immediately do damage control, basically by confessing to him that I'd tried to get into his email.

Strangely, he took it well enough. I'm not really sure why, but maybe by that time he had already given up on our relationship.

 

[HazelWings]

One time. During the course of my divorce my ex posted some crap on Facebook so I logged into his account and deleted it. I felt horribly guilty doing it but I also didn't want our friends and family getting involved in our personal problems.

 

[Obzocky]

No. I felt incredibly violated when an ex hacked into my e-mail, just as I felt violated that my father hacked into my facebook to check my messages. It's not something I feel comfortable doing and not something I tend to react well to when it is done to me.

 

[Tink]

I don't really consider it snooping since he used my computer and left his myspace open, but that's how I found out my exhusband was cheating on me.

Normally I would not look into anyone's email/phone/etc without their permission and without reason (looking for a phone number, confirmation email, or something similar).

 

[Thunder Peel]

I don't look at things like that. If I want the same privacy then I should be willing to do the same to others.

 

[aksarben evitan]

I don't look at things like that. If I want the same privacy then I should be willing to do the same to others.

Following the Golden Rule is always a good idea.

 

[Rhamiel]

I knew a girl who would mess with me
put me on speaker phone when her friends were around and stuff and did not tell me

I do not want to mess with that

 

[mina]

no, I don't look b/c I trust him and I don't have a need to snoop. We don't really have anything online off limits to the other. And he's never given me a reason to worry.

 

[Amber.ly]

I have taken someone's phone and looked at their text messages. But it was my brother and he did the same thing to me 5 minutes before.

Also, I have posted status messages on a person's FB page when they left it up (did it for a perfect stranger who left his up at a public place)

I have found out the passwords for quite a few people's emails but have never tried to read them. I have no interest in someone elses private communications.

I wouldn't have a issue if someone checked my emails, texts or FB messages. I have nothing to hide and no reason to demand any privacy rights.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

Nope, much like Austin I'd really hate for it to happen to me if I had important things I didn't want anybody lookin' at; and if I really wanted to know if somebody was up to something I have other means of finding out.

 

[Tink]

I wouldn't have a issue if someone checked my emails, texts or FB messages. I have nothing to hide and no reason to demand any privacy rights.

^5

 

[Obzocky]

I only have an objection to it if they do not ask first. If someone snoops, hacks into my e-mails/accounts, reads my letters/texts, listens to answer machine messages, without asking me to first show them of my own free will, I get antsy. I get antsy as I would show people these things if they asked.

Having all my communications screened the moment I moved out I relished the freedom that came from knowing someone wasn't going to read my e-mails whilst I was out, or open my post to find out what i've been spending money on, that sort of thing. The fact it still happens irritates me more now that i've tasted privacy than it did before when I didn't know any better But that's the other reason I get so uppity about it, even if it's just something as innocent as teaching someone a lesson for having their password set as password I automatically go into "ohnoestheyregoingtoobsessivelycheckeveryprivatecommunicationihaveandtheyrenotevengoingtoasktheyrejustgoingtodoitohnoooooooo" just like that, all in one breathless wail.

I feel there is a huge difference between asking and knowing someone is checking things than having someone do it without telling you to find something out, just as there's a big difference between someone who leaves an account open on a public computer/on an unattended computer in a public space and someone purposefully gaining access without permission into an account of any sort.

I don't know. I can see why people do it, it's just not something I do.

 

[mtcog]

I used to snoop years ago, however, I've found that usually when you go looking for something, you will find it. So for that reason, I don't snoop as rule, and also, because, I don't want anyone snooping through my things; and I don't have the trust issues I used to have.

 

[Im_A]

Nope. Like others, I don't want to be snooped on, so I don't snoop.
Secondly, all someone has to do is ask. There is no certainty that I will tell them anything. I like privacy. However I would be more inclined to open up if someone had the audacity to simply ask because asking shows interest. Snooping shows someone that doesn't deserve respect.

 

[Fremdin]

Ew, no.

 

[Aino]

I've read some of my best friends' text messages, but they were right next to me and it was just a harmless joke anyways... And they sometimes do that to me too so they none of us really minds. I think emails are sort of different though and I haven't even tried and won't do it. I also have to say I like the way Austin put it.

 

[Edwards1984]

... someone's phone or email? If so, why? And how did you feel about it after? Did you confess to the person whose email/texts you looked at?

Me personally? No. However, a coworker of mine many years ago got suspicious about her bf, so she got into his email by password guessing and found out he had been cheating on her. Funny thing is they later made up and are now married (it's a long, weird complicated story...).

BTW, just a little warning to everyone, tread carefully with that. Some places have weird privacy laws that could get you charged for that. Apparently a woman in Japan got into her husband's email account to see if he had been cheating on her, and she was charged with wrongful intrusion or something like that.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Nope.

One ex even let me know what his passwords were. Not in a "this is so you can trust me" way or because I asked for them because I didn't trust him, but more like, he had nothing to hide and asked me to check something for him because he was too lazy to, so he told me the log in info to a couple different accounts.

And honestly, that's the way I think relationships should be. You shouldn't have to snoop on each other. Nobody really needs to snoop if nobody has anything to hide.

 

[acropolis]

Snooping destroys trust, and once trust is gone the relationship can't last long, so I don't snoop unless the relationship is already broken and I'm feeling vengeful. It's never a good thing to do, though.

I value my privacy and even within a relationship I probably wouldn't forgive anyone snooping around my accounts.

 

[Dark_Lite]

Never have, and don't have the inclination to do so. If someone tried to do that to me, my trust would be violated to the core.