Have you ever snooped on ...

[white dove]

... someone's phone or email? If so, why? And how did you feel about it after? Did you confess to the person whose email/texts you looked at?

I tried to get into my ex-bf's email one time. We didn't have a very trusting relationship, and probably should have broken up before it got to this point. Anyway, I was wondering if he was communicating with this other woman, so I tried to get into his Yahoo! mail.

It backfired on me because I tried to get his password and it sent a note to his alternate email address. Then I had to immediately do damage control, basically by confessing to him that I'd tried to get into his email.

Strangely, he took it well enough. I'm not really sure why, but maybe by that time he had already given up on our relationship.

I'm going to be the lone ranger and say "yes, I have" to someone's phone. I would hope that I would never again have another reason to. I won't say that I'm sorry for it, or ashamed or that I do 7 hail mary's a night for it, but in a healthy relationship there is trust. Without trust, you have nothing. Hindsight is 20/20 and this is one of the red flags I blinded myself to.

 

[GGstar]

I'm not proud of it, but yes I did. I suspected my 'friend' was trying to get me thrown out of uni on medical grounds so I went into her email. I know I shouldn't have, and believe me I wish I hadn't, but found out that she had been trying to get me thrown out on grounds of insanity. At least through knowing, I was about to come up with a defence... I have prayed for forgiveness on this matter though, it cannot be justified to destroy a friend's trust.

 

[Tamara224]

I snooped in my boss's email once. We were on a business trip and he stopped in my hotel room to use my computer to check his work email.

At the same time, our office manager was accusing me of having gone behind her back and booked a second (unnecessary) charter flight for myself for this trip. I had done no such thing - she had forgotten to cancel the first reservation she made before she left early that Friday.

Anyway, while my boss was reading his email he turned to me and asked "did you book a second charter?" So, of course, I wanted to know what she had said about me.

When he left, he did not log out of his email. So I snooped and read it and his response. I felt only slightly guilty at the time.

It's not snooping, exactly, but I have often read other people's emails and some that are incredibly personal. I've also read people's diaries. I don't like reading diaries, it feels like an invasion of privacy. But it's necessary that I know what's in them.

 

[Jenster]

I'm going to be the lone ranger and say "yes, I have" to someone's phone.

I'm not proud of it, but yes I did. I suspected my 'friend' was trying to get me thrown out of uni on medical grounds so I went into her email.

It's not snooping, exactly, but I have often read other people's emails and some that are incredibly personal. I've also read people's diaries. I don't like reading diaries, it feels like an invasion of privacy. But it's necessary that I know what's in them.

You don't have to tell me, but I'm curious how you got access to the voicemail or email passwords.

Tamara, are you some sort of investigator? Since you brought up the diary thing, I did read someone's diary once, a long long time ago when I was young. He was a friend, but I found out he had done something to take advantage of my trust (ironic, I know...).

I hope never to snoop again...and will pray for the Holy Spirit's intervention if I'm ever so tempted.

 

[white dove]

You don't have to tell me, but I'm curious how you got access to the voicemail or email passwords.

I never got access to anyone else's voicemail.

 

[Blueforest]

No, and I never would. I respect people's privacy and expect them to do the same. I have had it done to me before, and I was not impressed when I found out. Creep.

 

[Stravinsk]

I cannot recall a time when I have done this. I've never been given a good reason to though, however.

I have, however, recorded conversations(Edit: the ones I am participating in, I mean, not other people's) - like msg chat. I do that for clarity - my own clarity - to get perspective on things.

People say the openness is a trust issue - and also an issue of " I have nothing to hide " - and perhaps that's true - but people can change - and the trust that was merited, even earned - at first - can be used against you. Such as in divorces, break-ups, friendship breakdowns etc. All of a sudden you have an enemy that can, because of that previous trust - destroy you. Psychologically. Legally. Financially. I've heard horror stories from both men and women. Some end in destitution, some in suicide. Serious stuff - trust.

 

[PinkSweetart]

I have read my sister's text, but not to snoop. And she has done the same to me. It's just something we did because we were bored.

But no, I would never snoop on someone else text or especially e-mails. Even if they gave me a reason to snoop I think I'd just let the person know about the issue I have with them. I'm not going to lie, sometimes I will get tempted to snoop mostly because I come from a family of snoopers. (You should see the stuff my mom does! ) But I know that I would feel horrible if someone violated me in that way. Not that I have anything to hide... it's just somethings are just personal.

 

[Tamara224]

Tamara, are you some sort of investigator?

Lawyer. Emails, texts, voicemails, social network pages, diaries, medical records, etc, are all "discoverable" information. If you sue or are getting sued, you may have to make copies of those things for the other side to read and possibly use against you.

 

[explodingboy]

Only out of childish humour never out of mistrust or suspicion.

And I'll answer other peopls phones to take messages, or to pass on messages that arrive while they are otherwise indispose (though I do only do this with good friends and family, and generally only if I recognise and know the sender.)

Only once can I say I intentionally "snooped" on a partner and I'll say in my defence we did both know each others accounts and passwords so it wasn't any sort of excessive password hacking/guessing things going on, and it was partly because she had informed me that someone was sending her offensive/stalker messages, and this person being someone who she was still keeping in contact with voluntary, while at the same time telling me wild and wonderful tales of blackmail, and freindship and I concluded that until I saw the messages myself there was no way I'd be able to put my mind to rest.

.. and that paragraph might not have made too much sense but my now ex was a compulsive lier, and fantasist. Where a story is one day should I go to the police, to 5mins later well their my best friend and it never really happened.

 

[leothelioness]

No, I never have nor would I. I have respect for other people's privacy and I hope they would respect mine as well.

Now, if it was because I felt someone was cheating on me and I found out that way.... well, the end doesn't always justify the means.

 

[K9_Trainer]

I'm not proud of it, but yes I did. I suspected my 'friend' was trying to get me thrown out of uni on medical grounds so I went into her email. I know I shouldn't have, and believe me I wish I hadn't, but found out that she had been trying to get me thrown out on grounds of insanity. At least through knowing, I was about to come up with a defence... I have prayed for forgiveness on this matter though, it cannot be justified to destroy a friend's trust.

Don't beat yourself up. It doesn't sound like that girl was your "friend" anyway.

EDIT: And just to sort of add to my first post, I would snoop if I had reason to. If I find out that a boyfriend was cheating, I think it totally justifies my snooping and I don't think "But you read my emails!!!" is a mature response after bringing it up. It doesn't matter how I find out; grow a pair and own up to your actions like an adult rather than whining about having your privacy violated. People really only seem to mind when they have something to hide.

 

[Squeakers]

I don't look at things like that. If I want the same privacy then I should be willing to do the same to others.

This.

 

[MehGuy]

Isn't snooping in someone's email considered a felony now? Least in some states?

As for the question goes, no I do not... the truth is I don't have many people I associate with anyways so the opportunity never really comes up.