Have been having a disturbing theme in my dreams. Please help if you can?

[LGestalt]

Hello everyone. I was unsure where to take this to. I think God may have lead me here as every other site seemed to be pagan and I am uneasy about going to them about this. I am usually rather good at interpreting my dreams but this one is baffling.
I do not have recurring dreams. On rare occasion I do have recurring themes. Right now I am having a very disturbing one for about the past week. My husband and I have been together for over 10 years. We have a family. Most importantly we enjoy our marriage to one another. We feel that God led us to one another for reasons of His own. That is why this dream is baffling.

The Theme: The dreams are different but at some point I wake up inside the dream. I never wake up in a bed thankfully. Although I have seen one a few times durring this phase of the dream. When I wake up I am waiting for my husband (aka Vince) but when he comes it is not him. It is the last boyfriend I had before I met my husband (aka Ex.). I try to explain that I am married to Vince. But Ex insist that it was not real that I have been married to him all this time. It goes on that way for a while. I might even wake up later in dream explaining it to my husband. But always in the dream. Also last night the dream had a new twist. I was told by his grandmother that passed a way several years ago that Vince was married to a ex girlfriend of his that I never met. Yet everyone treated me as though I had met her.

I feel fear and confusion when this part of the dream takes place. During it I just want to find my husband and flee. I don't want to have to be in that life where I am not his wife. That is all I can think about is the life and family we have made together. I want it all back and yet I am so lost that I can't find him anywhere. Normally I would talk to my husband about this. But I would like to uderstand it more before I do. "Past flings" is not something that we discuss often. I am not sure where these thoughts are coming from.

 

[ditte]

Hi,
Peace be with you.
Don't worry. I don't know why this dream keeps coming up, but let's pray and ask the Lord. I don't think it's a good idea to tell your husband. You did nothing wrong.
Maybe the dream is symbolic. Perhaps the ex appearing simply means that though we are "married to Christ" yetour "old ways" are coming back, meaning that the flesh. But we are winners in Christ., He helps us to walk in Spirit.
Maybe it means something else.
But don't worry.
The Lord will give revelation.
Blessings.
Edith

 

[Firewater]

Hi LGestalt,

Welcome to the D&V subform.

It's good to know that no matter what is happening in our lives, God is in control & Jesus is watching out for us, so we can trust Him.

How are you & your husband's work-life balance? Does your husband have to work at night? Spending too much time & emotional energy on work can be like having work as another spouse.

Some other possibilities as well as the old ways / flesh which Ditte mentioned are:
- problems at church (eg unfaithfulness of pastor or lack of commitment by congregation)
- problems at work (eg hidden commitments or obligations to other companies)

 

[LGestalt]

I thought about those things as well. I am a housewife meaning my time is spent at home. We do not attend church because of my health issues(i have panic attacks that can lead to seizures if not kept under control). Which really is ok with us because my husband grew up Church of Christ and I grew up Catholic. I also happily attended a Baptist church when I was with my Grandma. Finding a church is very important to us but we were unable to find one that felt like home to both of us before I became ill.

Right now my husband is under a lot of stress at work. He has also just completed training as a EMT. He works a very demanding job with regular hours. What is worse is I know it is going to be harder for him as he starts his second job as a EMT. I might be under stress because my husband is under so much stress that he has to unwind longer when he gets home. I have also thought that it could be because we have not had a real date for around a year if not longer.
We only allow our child to be cared for by our family. The few that live around here are so busy caring for my husband's grandmother who is battling cancer that they have no time to babysit as before. My in-laws took our child out for a the day a few weeks ago and my husband feel asleep. It was also the first time in a long time that I was child free for a few hours that I ended up playing video games and taking a long bath so that I wouldn't wake up my husband.

Who knows? Maybe I just need some real time alone with my husband. I miss having time alone with him. It is just going to be a while before that happens seeing as his Grandmother's health needs to come first.
As much as I have tried to understand this theme in my dreams I am actually afraid to sleep. I don't like the dream. In fact I don't much like the guy at all. I don't know what made me to like him when we were dating. It is disturbing to have that same theme in every dream. I have prayed and I just am not seeing a answer right now. If I dream about it again I will post back on here. Maybe I can have some more insight about it. Or perhaps it is just a temporary thing. I have no idea. I just don't want to dream about it again, it is too scary!

 

[humblewatchman]

Hello “LGestalt”,
These dreams do point to a fear of yours. You are afraid that things with your husband won’t be like they “used to be” (symbolic ex boyfriend). You already feel the current need for more time with him, and what you see in the future makes that current fear even worse. The grandmother "interfering" in your dream represents the grandmother in real life who, right now with her illness is (and by no fault of her own) interfering with your emotional needs. I don’t think there is anything prophetic in it, just needs and fears.

My advice that you could take or leave is this; You may not want to share the dream with him, but husbands need to know when we have a “need” that is interfering with sleep. They usually not very intuitive like women are, and the enemy loves it when we keep secrets that affect us negatively. Don’t give him a foothold. Speak your truth and your needs to your husband without making him feeling guilty/bad for having to work so hard. Try to take 30 minutes a day to just be with each other, after the kids go to bed or after they go to school, or get someone to watch them just for an hour to go out to dinner, or for a walk. Surely there is someone who could watch them for such a short period of time. If you don’t have the money to go out, go to Mc Donalds or pack some sandwiches & hot drinks and eat in the local park.

Take the energy that you would spend on this worry and use it for creative ideas to spend needed time together. I would guess that he needs more stress free time with you too.

 

[MCab]

It could be there was something in the previous bf's that you liked that you find missing in your husband. That would be on a superficial level. More deep, it could be there's something in previous life stages you miss that you don't have now.

Or perhaps you have a fear that you and your husband could possibly become estranged.

 

[parsley]

This might be wa-ay off base but since you feel the dream doesn't coincide with reality, I'll go for it.

Today is Super Tuesday in the US. People sometimes get dreams where the familiar symbolism gives them a better sense of the unfamiliar situation.

Right now the citizens are married to Obama.
Who were we married to before? There has been discussion of new candidates arising. Not sure if you're from the US.

George Bush... Bill Clinton has gained popularity since he left office. Both ended their terms like ex-husbands, as many presidents do. After emotions calm down, and distance makes things easier, the people are not as riled up about them.

We also have alliances... and our churches have pastors they partner with... we work for companies that have branches in other locations. Think about other possible partnership applications.

 

[paul1149]

This is an attack concerning past associations, and the enemy is trying to use fear, shame and confusion to undermine your personal peace and marital harmony. You're being tempted – or probably threatened is a better word – with sex (the bed) with the Ex, who voices claims over you. But we know the Bible declares that marriage is holy and must not be violated, so God is not the author of this.

I might even wake up later in dream explaining it to my husband.

What is your feeling here? The purpose of this might be to make you fear talking to your husband, or conversely, it may be to raise a troubling issue in the marriage, though that issue really has no substance. Either way a wedge is driven between you two.

Yet everyone treated me as though I had met her.

You're being pressured to accept a past partner into your life.

I feel fear and confusion when this part of the dream takes place. During it I just want to find my husband and flee.

"Past flings" is not something that we discuss often. I am not sure where these thoughts are coming from.

Fear and confusion are not from the Lord. If the Lord is warning us, there may be fear but it will be clean, and it will not cause confusion, but rather, clarity. I would say it is clear where these thoughts are coming from.

As others have suggested, it may be that stress is weakening you and making you wish for an escape. What to do about it? Renounce inappropriate soul ties, if there are any. Pronounce God's sovereignty over your marriage and current circumstances, even with their difficulties. Then take your stand in your authority in Christ (Eph 6.10-ff). Jesus is Lord of you and your family, and your wellbeing is His business.

This may be a sign that you and your husband should start joining together in prayer and meditation on the Word, if you don’t already, or that you should redouble the effort, if you do. As you say, more stress might be coming along, and prayer will become essential to maintain and build up spiritual strength, unity and resilience. The importance of the power of unity runs throughout the Bible, from the Babel episode in Genesis, to Ps 133, to the Church at Philadelphia (brotherly love) in Revelations, which had an open door. One can put a thousand to flight, but two, ten thousand. Come together in prayer and oneness of mind, and be strong together.

Edit: I forgot the most important one of all:

Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.
For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” -Matt 18:18-20​

 

[LGestalt]

Thanks for all the wonderful responses!!! I was free from that theme last night. I did dream about the past again but it was about people I held dear to me. I usually am able to discren "prophetic" dreams from silly ones like this one. I know there was nothing about it that I felt was pushing me into sin or anything like that. I did however hint to my husband last night that I have been having bad dreams. We even made about five minutes alone together.
I don't know what it was all about. I do agree that I am becoming stressed over things that I know will complicate our marriage in the future. We are both aware of this. This is something we have talked about. I have even found some information online about this new career move that he will soon undertake. Of course our Vows are not the only thing that holds us together. We have a very strong bond to one another. It is scary sometimes. I will literally feel his pain while he at work. I get headaches and emotional stress at the same time he does.
I think I just needed some time with him. Tonight I am planning a surprise because I didn't go to the grocery store last night, so we have to have dinner out. I know it will help me some being stuck in the house day after day. It could have also been that I do miss simpler times but they are not worth what I have today. My family is the most important Blessing on earth to me. Without them I would not be who I am today!
Again Thank You for the prayers and for talking to me about this. I really do think that it all helped me a lot

God Bless you!!!!

 

[parsley]

I hope your dinner goes well, as planned.

 

[SamsoniteBaggage]

That is a very charming story and touching.

I have the same relationship with my wife. Thankfully, it is not just that I feel her pain, though.

 

[humblewatchman]

That's great "L". God bless you with peace and joy. Thank you for sharing your dream and your feelings with us. We learn from each other. I hope your honest thread helps other couples to spend more time together too.