Niffer
So...that just happened.
- Aug 1, 2008
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- CA-Conservatives
Hi James,
I can understand what you're feeling, not because I've been in your shoes, but my husband has been.
It's a little different, as I never had intercourse until I was married, but there is still other, uh, things that could be done instead.
Remi, (my dh) had never even dated a girl before me, never even kissed, much less had sex, and we started dating when he was 23.
Thats a long time for a guy to be that single and without experiences, I was very surprised when I learned how, well, Innocent he was.
And after the surprise wore off, all I could feel was guilt. Big, heavy, weight-on-my shoulders guilt about having messed around with guys before marrying my hubby.
Of course, I apologized, and though he never made me feel guilty, I knew it hurt him a little.
And when he would bring it up, I couldn't even compare my relationship with other guys to that of my husband.
Yes, I had kissed _____, but it was no longer even comparable to the love and desire I have for my husband and how different it was.
It's hard to see the difference, I know.
I get it.
But the odds are your wife is probably carrying around the guilt of being the "sinner" while married to the "saint" who never did anything sexually compromising.
You need to take assurance in her love for you, she married you. She chose to be with you out of everyone in the world because of her love for you.
She could have been with someone else, but chose you!
Yes, you were the wiser one to keep yourself for marriage, that can't be argued. But she shouldn't have to keep continually paying for her sins, by having the man she loves most in the world act cold and depressed because she was in a relationship 7 years ago.
Let it go, and live in the love that you have for each other.
Clearly you're crazy in love with her, or you wouldn't be jealous.
But love isn't supposed to be full of jealousy, remember?
Accept her for who she is, and allow yourself to move past the hurt.
Praying for you James.
- Niffer
I can understand what you're feeling, not because I've been in your shoes, but my husband has been.
It's a little different, as I never had intercourse until I was married, but there is still other, uh, things that could be done instead.
Remi, (my dh) had never even dated a girl before me, never even kissed, much less had sex, and we started dating when he was 23.
Thats a long time for a guy to be that single and without experiences, I was very surprised when I learned how, well, Innocent he was.
And after the surprise wore off, all I could feel was guilt. Big, heavy, weight-on-my shoulders guilt about having messed around with guys before marrying my hubby.
Of course, I apologized, and though he never made me feel guilty, I knew it hurt him a little.
And when he would bring it up, I couldn't even compare my relationship with other guys to that of my husband.
Yes, I had kissed _____, but it was no longer even comparable to the love and desire I have for my husband and how different it was.
It's hard to see the difference, I know.
I get it.
But the odds are your wife is probably carrying around the guilt of being the "sinner" while married to the "saint" who never did anything sexually compromising.
You need to take assurance in her love for you, she married you. She chose to be with you out of everyone in the world because of her love for you.
She could have been with someone else, but chose you!
Yes, you were the wiser one to keep yourself for marriage, that can't be argued. But she shouldn't have to keep continually paying for her sins, by having the man she loves most in the world act cold and depressed because she was in a relationship 7 years ago.
Let it go, and live in the love that you have for each other.
Clearly you're crazy in love with her, or you wouldn't be jealous.
But love isn't supposed to be full of jealousy, remember?
Accept her for who she is, and allow yourself to move past the hurt.
Praying for you James.
- Niffer