Has anyone experienced this?

[PassionFruit]

With your married friends or friends who are in long term relationships, have you gotten the vibe that they seem to feel sorry for you because you're single? Even if there are other things that are going rather well in your life, like you have a stable career, you're getting along with your family and friends and all that, but that doesn't seem to matter because you don't have a spouse?

 

[broken_one]

All the time...absolutely. And yeah, I'm only 20.

That's why I try to shrug if off whenever it happens, because it's not really constructive for anything. I just wish I was better at shrugging it off.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Really Sean? I mean, you must realize that they're crazy to expect a 20/21 yr old to live like a 30 yr old.

 

[broken_one]

Really Sean? I mean, you must realize that they're crazy to expect a 20/21 yr old to live like a 30 yr old.

Yeah, really. It's not even always from people I don't know, either. I'm supposed to be having children in a few years, that's how crazy this has all gotten. I should be with a girl NOW because I need to get married in a year or so, according to their minds. This has somewhat permeated to my mind, sadly.

And people wonder why I'm a nervous wreck.

 

[Stravinsk]

With your married friends or friends who are in long term relationships, have you gotten the vibe that they seem to feel sorry for you because you're single? Even if there are other things that are going rather well in your life, like you have a stable career, you're getting along with your family and friends and all that, but that doesn't seem to matter because you don't have a spouse?

Occasionally. It doesn't bother me, though, nor do I make any kind of reflections on what it may mean personally (I mean, negatively). I'm sure that's because I was married to a beautiful heart who loved me very much - and also because I've just plain passed up alot of opportunity since.

I wouldn't worry about it. I'm single and can think of a particular woman whom I feel sorry for for being single - mainly because she's really unlikely to find a suitable mate unless she changes certain things. But then, I've also felt sorry for couples - who are living less than a happy life in their relationship.

But really - does it matter what someone else thinks as far as this goes?

 

[PassionFruit]

I was wondering because I just re-entered into a relationship. People seem like it's all wonderful (and it is) but when I wasn't in a relationship, it was like "ohh that's too bad." :o

I don't understand why a relationship or even marriage is considered a goal that people should achieve.

Yeah, really. It's not even always from people I don't know, either. I'm supposed to be having children in a few years, that's how crazy this has all gotten. I should be with a girl NOW because I need to get married in a year or so, according to their minds. This has somewhat permeated to my mind, sadly.

And people wonder why I'm a nervous wreck.

Yes and if you're a woman it's like "you gotta get married soon, before your ovaries stop working."

 

[Riot Riot Riot]

Yes and if you're a woman it's like "you gotta get married soon, before your ovaries stop working."

When people ask me when I'm going to get married and have kids I'm like: "I'm not having kids. Keep them away from me. I'm just gonna be an old cat lady" and then walk away.

It's extremely annoying sometimes. I'm 22. Let me have a life, jeesh!

 

[ampbelle3130]

yes. they say things to try to protect me. or "well would you want to come? it'll just be me and ______ but...i mean - you can bring someone or we can see if _______'s friend _______ can come. (because i couldnt possibly enjoy doing something without a man next to me. *rolls eyes*) or to they explain something then try to explain it another way while looking at me because my mind couldnt possibly understand the first one...because i'm --- duhn duhn duhhhnnn!!! SINGLE! *enter shocked face here*

bahahahahaha.

i just laugh about it.
i'm 22 years old. i'm single because i choose to be. it's not a disability. or an obligation. the only negative aspect of it is that i'm a cuddlebug and i dont have anyone to cuddle with...which is why i'm getting a dog when i get to oregon. haha!
but on a serious note. this is precisely where i'm supposed to be in my life. if i were with someone, i wouldnt have the opportunity to move across the country. and that's what i want to do.

silly friends. : )

 

[NoodlesNoodlesNoodles]

Strange, I've never had this. No one in my family has ever tried to set me up. No friends have ever tried. That's probably a strong sign of something unflattering right there.

I've had nothing but smooth sailing for the last 27 years of troublemaking, study and career. So all you people that have to deflect Yenta-esque grandmothers and matchmaking aunts, I can't empathize or offer any dodgedate tips. (Dodgedate: Like dodgeball, but with a heavier, warmer object thrown at you)

P.S. ampbelle, enjoy OR. I was borned and raised there. GO DUCKS!!

 

[kevlite2020]

yeah I get that a lot, mostly from friends or elderly

 

[Thunder Peel]

I don't think people say anything to me because it's pretty obvious that I'm single. Until poor fashion sense and acne scars become the new standard for attractiveness I think people just avoid me.

 

[Amber.ly]

My sis just got engaged and every time someone finds out, they turn to me and say "You must be next! I know _________, want me to set you up?"

This has happened 5 times and she got officially engaged last Thursday *shakes head*

I think they expect me to be envious or something but I just laugh and tell them I have 3 more siblings to get married off before I jump into the pool of insanity (or dating as most people refer to it)

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Yeah, really. It's not even always from people I don't know, either. I'm supposed to be having children in a few years, that's how crazy this has all gotten. I should be with a girl NOW because I need to get married in a year or so, according to their minds. This has somewhat permeated to my mind, sadly.

And people wonder why I'm a nervous wreck.

Is it the ring by spring thing?

 

[broken_one]

Is it the ring by spring thing?

No, because we're not fundies lol

Yes and if you're a woman it's like "you gotta get married soon, before your ovaries stop working."

Well, that's definitely understandable lol.....I'm the only child and also the only male heir of the family name (like 12 girl cousins, lol)....there's farrr too much pressure there.

 

[Sketcher]

A little. It's not really a big topic among us, thankfully. That's what aunts and grandmothers are for.

 

[anewday]

About a year ago or so an older gentleman at a church I used to be a member of asked me how old I was. When I told him, he replied, "you should have 3 kids by now". Yeah, I felt less that great, to say the least . On the upside, when I visit home and some family members ask me if I'm seeing anybody and I say no, they usually tell me I'm smart . Its funny the different reactions I get from various people. Hey, I want to find somebody, marry him, and have kids, but it'll happen when God sees fit. And if it doesn't, then I'm gonna have a ton of fun on my own the rest of my life . I'm being positive about this now, so I should stop typing before I turn negative on the subject...

 

[ProAntiRevolution]

When friends get married they seem to fall by the wayside pretty quick. The only thing I hear from my brother is how much he wishes he never got married, and I think my mom is too busy to really notice my lack of a romantic life. And people complain about slipping through the cracks.

 

[ampbelle3130]

Strange, I've never had this. No one in my family has ever tried to set me up. No friends have ever tried. That's probably a strong sign of something unflattering right there.

I've had nothing but smooth sailing for the last 27 years of troublemaking, study and career. So all you people that have to deflect Yenta-esque grandmothers and matchmaking aunts, I can't empathize or offer any dodgedate tips. (Dodgedate: Like dodgeball, but with a heavier, warmer object thrown at you)

P.S. ampbelle, enjoy OR. I was borned and raised there. GO DUCKS!!

thank you so much noodles! i'm so stoked!

 

[NoodlesNoodlesNoodles]

About a year ago or so an older gentleman at a church I used to be a member of asked me how old I was. When I told him, he replied, "you should have 3 kids by now".

I'm sure he meant well... but how rude! Prov 25:11 "Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances."

The only thing I hear from my brother is how much he wishes he never got married..

Ouch.

and I think my mom is too busy to really notice my lack of a romantic life. And people complain about slipping through the cracks.

Hang in there. It'll get better, but be prepared to make your own weather, so to speak. Seems like you and I are in a similar boat. But I digress.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

When friends get married they seem to fall by the wayside pretty quick. The only thing I hear from my brother is how much he wishes he never got married, and I think my mom is too busy to really notice my lack of a romantic life. And people complain about slipping through the cracks.

xD