hard to trust...

[AJD495]

ok, my husband and i have been together for almost 2 years, and married for 9 months of that time...but to go back aways...when i was 3yrs old my biological father cheated on my mother and walked out of our family...my mother was a single parent for several years and later remarried and her husband adopted my brother and i and he is all i know as a father basically, and he is a wonderful man!

the problem is, i am constentaly doubting my husband thinking he is cheating on me or whatever because w/my biological father walking out and leaving, the last thing i want is to be left again, and more than anything i'm mostly afraid of being a fool and not catching something, but i can gurantee that my husband is not cheating physically, cuz he works from home, and we go everywhere together.

Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and i've had nightmares of him cheating, and i hate it, because he has assured me he wont ever do that, and i do believe him, its just the general fear of being left and the fear of releasing that fear, and being vulnerable, because if i dont guard my heart, i might get hurt...neways, this has been long enough...but if neone else has experienced this or even if you havent i am open to any advice, thank you so much for hearing my story...

 

[AutumnDreamer]

Have you talked to your husband about this? Satan will use any door he can to come in an attack us, with you he is using your bio dad. Talking it over with you husband will bring it out in the open. Satan wants us to hide our fears inside of us and not talk to anyone about them b/c then he can torment us even more, telling your husband about gives him the opportunity to pray with you, and squash those fears so that satan can not keep this hold on you. One thing you should try to remember is that not all men are the same, this is proven by the wonderful man that raised you. I think there is definetly a deeper issue here that is making you focus on a man you probably don't remember, rather then the wonderful influence your adopted father has given you.

 

[revjayman]

ok, my husband and i have been together for almost 2 years, and married for 9 months of that time...but to go back aways...when i was 3yrs old my biological father cheated on my mother and walked out of our family...my mother was a single parent for several years and later remarried and her husband adopted my brother and i and he is all i know as a father basically, and he is a wonderful man!

Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and i've had nightmares of him cheating, and i hate it, because he has assured me he wont ever do that, and i do believe him, its just the general fear of being left and the fear of releasing that fear, and being vulnerable, because if i dont guard my heart, i might get hurt...neways, this has been long enough...but if neone else has experienced this or even if you havent i am open to any advice, thank you so much for hearing my story...

It sounds like you are still experiencing the pain of your past childhood that is spilling into your marriage. Forgiveness is very important, have you forgiven your bibological father for what he did?

Rev

 

[USMC]

Sins/flaws of the family have a way of haunting the future generations (hence children of divorce have a MUCH greater chance of getting divorced themselves). Some call this a generational curse (won't go into the scriptural explanations in this thread, but there are some great resources on the web). What you're experiencing is just one of the ways that curse is rearing it's ugly head. Jesus' sacrifice has given us the power to break all curses in our lives, through prayer. God will set you free.

 

[JamieGraham]

I would suggest talking with your dad to settle this once and for all.
Can you do this or is he absent? If you cannot - write a letter to him...mail it ...if you have to mail it to thin air do so...or float it in a bottle down a stream.
When you do this pray for him. Forgive him and bless him as I am sure he has or is paying for this - in one way or another. You do not need to pay.
Please try this - be serious and meaningful when you write the letter -

SUGGESTION FOR YOUR LETTER:

WRITE.............
1. How you found out
2. What you felt
3. How it has hurt you then
4. How you feel about him now
5. Now forgive him - set him free verbally-aloud.
6. Bless him and pray for him
7. Place the letter in an envelope or bottle
8. Send it on it's way - say aloud goodbye pain and torment and I now fully welcome my future happy, healthy loving and joy filled life.
9. Pray to God to remove the obsession, thoughts, fears and pain...
10. LET GO AND LOVE BOTH YOURSELF AND YOUR HUSBAND AS YOU BOTH DESERVE!

God Bless you!