Had a priest joking about my purity problem in the confessional

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

How to react? Well I laughted at it with him, but honestly I find it quite inapropriate for a confessor to joke about sins a person is confessing to God...

How should Ive responded and have anyone experienced something similar?

Its my first experience of its kind. Maybe he tried to lighten the mood or perhaps sexual sins such as playing with oneself and watching inappropriate contentography is tedious to hear over and over cause I suspect lots of people confess such.
Anyway I think the confessional is and should be a serious place...

Im quite perplexed to be honest...

 

[Anhelyna]

Not right at all

He's there to listen and advise you not to sit and joke about what you have done/failed to do etc.

Not a priest I would go to again

 

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

Yeah it was wierd. In my ears its quite close to saying such sins arent as serious as I believe they are.
Perhaps Im reading to much into it, but I found it to be strange.

 

[Michie]

I've had priests where they were very comforting and gave advise. Never joked. But as you said, it might of been an awkward way of trying to comfort? I don't know.

 

[Floof]

That seems sort of inappropriate, but perhaps it was his attempt to comfort? It's hard to say for certain. I'd pray on it.

 

[Michie]

Many priests try to comfort to help the pentitent avoid scrupulosity. Not sure if it was appropriate or not but I'd try to look at it charitably at this point.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I'm not Catholic but I'd have to say that joking over sins of any kind would make me very uncomfortable. That feels not right to me.

My priest did chuckle one of my first confessions when I confessed yelling at the dog, but I didn't get any bad feeling from that and I was still learning to confess. (And just baptized so I struggled with a LOT of things I'd never been challenged to work on as a Protestant.)

But to actually joke about any sin, especially one that seems so sensitive and maybe uncomfortable to confess seems to me to be a bad move pastorally.

I'd like to be charitable too and hope he might be inexperienced or not thinking or something else, but I'd probably want to confess to someone different after that too.

 

[Michie]

You know what? I got mad and yelled at this rude guy at the grocery store once and I got so mad I walked into a glass door. Got mad again and flipped the jerk the bird. My priest did laugh about that. :o

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

Let me ask a question, having not been to confession in quite some time, do you folks go into details regarding your sins?

I never gave details other than for example, committed sexual sins.
The Priest never asked me for explicit details.

 

[Michie]

No you don't have to unless the priest questions whatever you are confessing. Usually the 10 commandments are used as a guide. At least, that's what I was taught.

Let me ask a question, having not been to confession in quite some time, do you folks go into details regarding your sins?

I never gave details other than for example, committed sexual sins.
The Priest never asked me for explicit details.

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

No you don't have to Uess the priest questions whatever you are confessing. Usually the 10 commandments are used as a guide. At least, that's what I was taught.

Same here.

I did have a priest who lit a cicarette and kept asking me to repeat the story.

Lol I kid.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Let me ask a question, having not been to confession in quite some time, do you folks go into details regarding your sins?

I never gave details other than for example, committed sexual sins.
The Priest never asked me for explicit details.

(Again not Catholic)

I tend to go into circumstantial detail such as what I struggle with underlying that causes any sin. Not to excuse myself, but because the Confessor needs to understand us and our struggles. I can only recall one time he asked for a slight bit of additional info and it involved how I relate to persons at Church. I am actually rather private about private things and mention in very little detail. I asked him once (again, I was learning how to confess) if my very cryptic comment was "enough" and he said that if God understood it, that was all that was needed. I don't know if Catholics differ? We specifically confess to God with the priest only as a witness. But the Greeks are particularly good about offering spiritual counsel as part of Confession so that's the reason for making the priest understand what's at the root of our struggle.

Forgive me for butting in. We don't talk much about Confession, so I appreciate such conversations and what I can learn from others.

 

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

(Again not Catholic)

I tend to go into circumstantial detail such as what I struggle with underlying that causes any sin. Not to excuse myself, but because the Confessor needs to understand us and our struggles. I can only recall one time he asked for a slight bit of additional info and it involved how I relate to persons at Church. I am actually rather private about private things and mention in very little detail. I asked him once (again, I was learning how to confess) if my very cryptic comment was "enough" and he said that if God understood it, that was all that was needed. I don't know if Catholics differ? We specifically confess to God with the priest only as a witness. But the Greeks are particularly good about offering spiritual counsel as part of Confession so that's the reason for making the priest understand what's at the root of our struggle.

Forgive me for butting in. We don't talk much about Confession, so I appreciate such conversations and what I can learn from others.

As far as Im concerned your inputs are always welcome in here sister.
God bless you and dont be so shy

 

[Michie]

Amen to that!

 

[~Anastasia~]

As far as Im concerned your inputs are always welcome in here sister.
God bless you and dont be so shy

Thank you for your kindness.

God bless you too!

 

[Mark_Sam]

We are to confess all serious sins, both in kind and number. For lesser sins, it is not necessary to go into details. So I would say something like:
"I have masturbated twice, and watched inappropriate contentography twice. Also I have been angry towards my family, when I should have been grateful. I have also cursed and taken the Lord's name in vain a few times, because of car trouble." And so on ...

Sometimes it is helpful to go into detail, and discuss the underlying causes and problems and so on. And in my experience, confessors will do that. But if Mass starts in 10 minutes and there are 3 other people in line behind you, then the confessor will give just some short encouragement or advice and move on with the ritual.

 

[Stabat Mater dolorosa]

Yep, Im not explicit unless father question the content of my confession.
Theres no need to go into details about what exactly gets your motor running if you catch my drift.

I often generally confess that ive struggled with these temptations and fallen back to old habits since my last confession. inappropriate content and M.

Im never explicit.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Yeah it was wierd. In my ears its quite close to saying such sins arent as serious as I believe they are.
Perhaps Im reading to much into it, but I found it to be strange.

It is strange. And wrong. The priest is sitting there in persona Christi and makes a joke about sin?

It would be one thing to counsel about scrupulosity if that priest had a deep enough knowledge of who the person confessing to him was. Quite another to joke about it. This is exactly the kind of thing that has driven people away from confession, the idea that sin is trivial. But don't get me started.

Find a different confessor if this guy can't take you seriously. Maybe give him one more chance. Then move on. Find one with some manifest holiness, someone who has battled his own sins and has not conceded to his sins.

 

[chevyontheriver]

inappropriate content

Most inappropriate content is internet driven. And that can be fought. I once was tasked with setting up a inappropriate content filter for a school system. Every http request returned to the school was passed through a server which looked at the URL and flagged it if it was on a rather large inappropriate content site blacklist. It was complicated but it did work.

There is a much easier way now, and it involves OpenDNS. DNS is what turns a name of a web site into the numbers the internet actually runs on. OpenDNS will actually filter the names of inappropriate content sites into a warning page and deny you access to the inappropriate content. The trick is to set this up and then totally lose the password so you can't undo it. You can do it on a computer AND on a router. That destroys your possibility to view inappropriate content on a computer. Something similar is possible on your phone but I have not done that yet, not being a problem for me.

 

[SaNcTaMaRiA]

I once had a priest suggest to me that instead of the contraception my wife and I were using my wife should get the birth control shot. That was the last time I went there.

Priests are people. They have opinions and some times they also get the giggles. I would probably expect him to apologize or say something about it, but awkward situations are hard for some people.

I have read mixed opinions on how to confess. Before I was married I too had a big M problem and was addicted to inappropriate content. It was an ongoing problem I struggled with. I never actually used the words M but I did confess to inappropriate content.

My current on going confessional confession is contraception. My wife and I have a tough situation atm and my wife is not as diligent about her faith as I am. Anyway, its a tough situation and I am often stuck confessing. I have had 3 different priests tell me three different things. One priest said it was okay as long as we stopped using it once we were able to financially handle more kids. I had one tell me to get my wife on the depo shot. Another just looked at me blankly and didn't give any advice. Every priest is different.