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Guy trouble.

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l0v3n

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Hello,

My life has been the greatest because of what God has been doing in my life and the relationships that he has brought into my life. I've made a great group of friends here at home and up at school four hours away from here. Here at home, I have met a guy who I am interested in and who is a part of my youth group that I regularly attend. I don't know him very well but I find him very attractive. Yes, I would like to get to know him more but I think the situation is a little awkward now because I think that it is known that we both like one another. There are not going to be many more opportunities to meet him again before I leave for school in six months. I'm not sure if I should be getting to know him as a person now while wait until he asks my number?? I have no clue how the rules are. Other then that, I will be leaving back to school for six months so if I don't get his number I wouldn't be able to get to know him as a friend I guess until it comes to a time that I would come back...lol. I'm not sure how to let God work in this situation. What should I do?
 
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volite27

Guest
You may hear a bunch of unofficial dating rules, but the truth is, they all come from different perspectives. In the end, everything depends on the guy you are talking to and God's will. The main thing that should stick out to you is your lack of time. Don't be timid worrying about dating rules or the like. Talk to him at a youth meeting. If you aren't totally comfortable, keep at it and wait until it is an automatic thing for you guys to talk to each other. Then casually ask him if he wants to hang out sometime (maybe in one of your previous conversations you can ask him questions that give you clues as to types of places that give him positive feelings).

In my experience, guys like it if you are forward and honest. So I say get to know him if you can, and it isn't like you will have trouble keeping in touch when you move away. There are sooooo many different ways to contact someone.

Good luck :)
 
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Aug 8, 2010
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Us dudes are sometimes not so bright in the area of hints. If a guy asks you out and you don't want him you have to pretty much tell him straight foward that you don't. Just get to know him a little and ask his number. I can't stand it when girls use little hints I don't get because I can't tell what they mean. So just do it! The worst he can say is no. If he does say no, then its his loss and there are plenty of other guys.
 
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Paulie079

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I guess I don't know where he is at but it bugs me when a guy discovers that he likes a girl and doesn't do anything about it. I am all for guys taking the lead in initiating relationships but the reality is that some guys just struggle too much with passivity. Besides, I would be careful that you don't buy into legalistic thinking as far as dating goes either. There's nothing wrong with you initiating a conversation with him finding out where you guys are going to be at in your friendship (and that conversation needs to happen). There's also nothing wrong with you simply asking for his phone number. I'm just a fan of guys taking the initiative.
 
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l0v3n

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I guess I don't know where he is at but it bugs me when a guy discovers that he likes a girl and doesn't do anything about it. I am all for guys taking the lead in initiating relationships but the reality is that some guys just struggle too much with passivity. Besides, I would be careful that you don't buy into legalistic thinking as far as dating goes either. There's nothing wrong with you initiating a conversation with him finding out where you guys are going to be at in your friendship (and that conversation needs to happen). There's also nothing wrong with you simply asking for his phone number. I'm just a fan of guys taking the initiative.

Thank you for you perspective. Actually, he has been doing all the initiating but because I am so shy around the guy that I actually do like, I haven't been able to talk to him even though he has been making the effort. I need to step out of my comfort zone more. Yes, I am all for the conversation! Will do. Its hard not go to into thinking about the dating aspect. The best relationships come out of friendships, this I know. :)
 
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SwissMiss

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I agree with what everyone else has been saying...just talking is a good place to start. And hey, if things aren't moving too fast and you have to leave for school, give him your email! That's a little less forward than a phone number, IMO. Then if he wants to say hi or w/e while you're away, he can. If not, pick up where you left off when you come back. Just think of him as a friend (even though you like him lol) and try to do your part in getting to know him better AS A FRIEND. I can only say this with such conviction because I just went through something like this. I really liked this guy, but I wanted to get to know him as a friend, first. Then as we got to know each other better, I started seeing we had too many differences and it would be best to just stay friends. He never knew I liked him, and he never will LOL but that's OK :) we're still friends and all is good. Hang in there, girl. Let a good brother/sister in Christ relationship grow, and God will take care of the rest in His own time! :)
 
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KeenanParkerII

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Tell him you want to go for coffee..? Then talk. Then hug. Then get all dreamy-eyed. Then go to school and try not to think about him until you get back home. Then get back, go a mission trip together, get married, make oodles of Christian babies. Fixed!

OR... Pray to our Father for guidance. Show him love as you would any other Christian. And if something is to blossom from it, then it will. :)
 
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andhow

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Two options:

1. Give him your number with the intention of talking to him casually as a friend to get to know him better.

2. Focus on school and don't worry about it.

Don't you think if God meant for you to be together he would make it a little easier and less time restricted than a couple of meetings before you go off to school?
 
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l0v3n

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Two options:

1. Give him your number with the intention of talking to him casually as a friend to get to know him better.

2. Focus on school and don't worry about it.

Don't you think if God meant for you to be together he would make it a little easier and less time restricted than a couple of meetings before you go off to school?

You raised an awful good point. Thanks!
 
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Kixa

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This sounds a lot like me! I to met a guy in youth group that I really like!
I just casually asked him if he had texting, and then we exchanged numbers...although, I think both of us is waiting for the other person to call/text first. >_<
Good luck! Youth Group is the perfect place to meet a guy. ;)
 
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RedLioness

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Hello,

My life has been the greatest because of what God has been doing in my life and the relationships that he has brought into my life. I've made a great group of friends here at home and up at school four hours away from here. Here at home, I have met a guy who I am interested in and who is a part of my youth group that I regularly attend. I don't know him very well but I find him very attractive. Yes, I would like to get to know him more but I think the situation is a little awkward now because I think that it is known that we both like one another. There are not going to be many more opportunities to meet him again before I leave for school in six months. I'm not sure if I should be getting to know him as a person now while wait until he asks my number?? I have no clue how the rules are. Other then that, I will be leaving back to school for six months so if I don't get his number I wouldn't be able to get to know him as a friend I guess until it comes to a time that I would come back...lol. I'm not sure how to let God work in this situation. What should I do?

He did not try to kill you did he? 9.9
 
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Rhayven

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It's easy, ask him if he has a text number, this is the most unorthodox thing to ask, most of the time guys won't suspect anything! (not saying guys are silly) It's asking the right way without sounding too pushy or insensitive. example:

you: hey hows it going?
guy: nothing much, it's just going.
you: that's cool, hey the other night we were talking and i had to go
guy: yeah it was good talking to ya
you: (fake laugh or giggle) yeah it was! hey do you happen to text?
guy: yeah I do, i like to text alot!
you: cool yeah me too
guy: sweet, heres my number text me anytime
you: (you think to yourself: sweet I have his number)

the end: congratulations

see the guy never knew it was coming!

okay now lets see more on a biblical side.
honestly, if God has put him in your life, God will make a way. Finding the right mate or future spouse should be one of the best parts of your life, it basically what sums your marriage for the rest of your life!! So it should be magical.... but with that said, if you have to push to get what you want or sit around all day waiting for God to do something. Then something is wrong with this picture!! Sometimes God is waiting on you.. My teacher once told me the keys to finding the perfect person is not looking for him or her. It is actually doing what God has destined you to do and then God will add unto you!! So i'd suggest you start doing what God has you do (If you don't know yet, pray about it) Then as you are working to further God's kingdom, next thing you know it, God will put them in your way, and the cool thing about it, their yoke will be similar to yours! so you will be equally yoked and haha those marriages will last for a eternity!
 
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preciousHeart

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Two options:

1. Give him your number with the intention of talking to him casually as a friend to get to know him better.

2. Focus on school and don't worry about it.

Don't you think if God meant for you to be together he would make it a little easier and less time restricted than a couple of meetings before you go off to school?

Indeed, God also believes in "meant-to-be", why well he is the author of your book. We cannot force things to happen... things just happens as God wills it to be. God Bless you!
 
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