Guidelines on Protection

[David McQueen]

Having trained as a counsellor there are some things which I would like to suggest to those who have either been victims of abuse whether it be emotional, physical or spiritual.

Firstly it is not your fault. Please don't blame yourself, and most importantly dont give up hope.

Secondly as scary as it is to share what has happened, I would recommend you contact a counsellor, whether Christian or not. With the dynamics of abuse I usually recommend that you speak to someone of the same gender who is trained in counselling. Although this may sound contentious just because someone is a spiritual leader does not mean that they are qualified to deal with the procedures both spiritual, emotional and legal. There are huge resources of trained and certified christian counsellors and therapists who can provide support in these situations. If this cant be done ensure someone else is nearby not to hear what is being said but just for your own protection.

In the US the AACC www.aacc.net, Christian Therapists www.christiantherapist.com, UK http://www.acc-uk.org.

Thirdly by reporting a misdemeanour you can prevent an offender from possibly reoffending again if it is dealt with appropriately

Fourthly wherever possible through a loving fellowship, counsellors or friends seek support in groups. Forgiveness and healing are not things you should be forced to do but come through time, prayer and support.

Fifthly be mindful as to how much information you give on an open forum like this. Whilst it is cathartic it is public and in the wrong hands can be seriously misconstrued. Please be careful and wise.


For all of you who are hurting and healing God bless you and restore you. Let us all remember to keep each other in our prayers

 

[Yasha]

Fifthly be mindful as to how much information you give on an open forum like this. Whilst it is cathartic it is public and in the wrong hands can be seriously misconstrued. Please be careful and wise.

I often wonder if I am being to revelatory( is that a word?), open. Then I tell myself that the Lord is separating us out in His providence and protection and will use even those with poor intent for the greater good. I pray for Him to do that with me often, in conversation, as well.

But, and, yet, this leaves cause for pause....
Thanks.

 

[David McQueen]

I mention this as I have seen on other fora where people have been quite open and accusations of libel and defamation have arisen, then there are those who have been helpful and have wanted to "take the conversation offline" and sometimes the victim becomes a victim a second time round.

This is why I subscribe to caution. Whilst it is not for me to question anyone's intention, just like I would believe no one should question mine, the issue of protection in all areas is paramount. Just call it a gut feeling.

 

[Yasha]

Yes. I, too, have been on forums where the openess or frankness of a response has been less than salted with prudence. One of the forums I had participated in, the first actually, about 6 years ago, disbanded. There was such a problem between too members that the webmaster bailed. A Christian website that was, too.

It was a heart wrenching thing for many of us, as we had become closely knit for several years. One of my best friends was one of the two. She has since become the webmaster of a Chistian forum of her own.(eg. of the Lord's working good despite intentions...)

I have learned that it can be very VERY hard to maintain prudence in the written word. Without body language ques and facial expression to portray a person's aspect, humor and passion can be misconstrued.

In short, to your cautions.

Much power in words..we need to be mindful and pray for His grace and compassion to come through them. I'm guessing, that here in this segment of the forum, imparticular, there are many who view and make little comment in fear of being offensive or misunderstood.

If I ever seem off to you, spot me and I'll try to explain. ...and I'll lay the rest on the able shoulders of the Lord.

As far as becoming revictimized goes...that caution, too, is a GREAT word for all. I, for one, am very slow to allow others in to my circle.

Thanks again for your gracious sharing of info. Be Blessed in Him.

 

[SeekAnd]

For all of you who are hurting and healing God bless you and restore you. Let us all remember to keep each other in our prayers

Dude, thank you so much for this post and the others.
Sage experienced advice like yours and the warnings are extremely valuable.
God Bless You
Scott

 

[Godsgirl481]

I wish I could talk to someone...and let it out...but I can't. I can't even say it outloud without getting sick or freaking out.....

 

[SeekAnd]

I wish I could talk to someone...and let it out...but I can't. I can't even say it outloud without getting sick or freaking out.....

Feeling like that must be very frustrating.
Maybe you could compose an essay to God in your head.
Pick a good title.
Start with a general introductory paragraph that results in a single sentence that best expresses how you feel.
Then maybe a paragraph about anger.
The next paragraph could be about fear.
The next could be about sadness.
Then you could sum it up with a paragraph that goes from a good concluding statement to thoughts about recovery and hope.

You could aslo try putting it on your computer. That way it wont be as permanent as on paper. You could go back to it and change and rewrite whenever you feel like. You can even ignore it or delete it if you feel like it. After all its only electrons.

Maybe when you get your essay the way you like it you could write it by hand on a peace of paper. That would make it a little more personal and tangible.

Using the essay format might just help you organize your thoughts and give you a feeling of control over roiling emotions.

I just might try that myself!

God Bless You
Scott

 

[Godsgirl481]

Feeling like that must be very frustrating.
Maybe you could compose an essay to God in your head.
Pick a good title.
Start with a general introductory paragraph that results in a single sentence that best expresses how you feel.
Then maybe a paragraph about anger.
The next paragraph could be about fear.
The next could be about sadness.
Then you could sum it up with a paragraph that goes from a good concluding statement to thoughts about recovery and hope.

You could aslo try putting it on your computer. That way it wont be as permanent as on paper. You could go back to it and change and rewrite whenever you feel like. You can even ignore it or delete it if you feel like it. After all its only electrons.

Maybe when you get your essay the way you like it you could write it by hand on a peace of paper. That would make it a little more personal and tangible.

Using the essay format might just help you organize your thoughts and give you a feeling of control over roiling emotions.

I just might try that myself!

God Bless You
Scott

I've done this....sort of. I'll write God letters...but near as organized as that. Maybe I'll try that...post it in my Journal maybe...so other people can read it. I don't know...

 

[Yasha]

Maybe when you get your essay the way you like it you could write it by hand on a peace of paper. That would make it a little more personal and tangible.

Using the essay format might just help you organize your thoughts and give you a feeling of control over roiling emotions.

When I came out of a really bad spell in my life once, I was being a burden to everyone and my brother, who was getting over taxed and weary of me, said to me in frustration one night,"Write it down! I just can't spend this much time in your problem, I am dealing with my own issues."

That may sound cold, but I really had been pushing him, as he was the closest person I trusted at the time. He, too, WAS going through some big issues, and I am sure I was taxing him. I loved him very much, still do, and I wanted to relieve him of me some, so I did what he told me to do.

I STILL do it. I have been writing, by hand, in journals since that day...20 years. My husband, my kids, my whole family knows when I am doing this that it is one of the things that healed me so long ago. I was a recovering drug addict, back then, with brain damage, and had experienced my second psychotic break when my brother gave me that sage advice.

I am fine, now, and sober from drugs for all the years since then. I DO attribute my recovery from such a deep darkness to God and Jesus.....and I write letters to Them in those journals as many days a week as I can....always. The respect for the privacy of your journals is a key to being honest with yourself, too. And, letters to God work best for me, because, WHY lie to God, He already KNOWS everything.

Shortly after, I met a girlfriend with like sixty-five umpteen degrees and brains for days. I learned to respect her casually dropped wisdom pearls, too. She told me once that,"... to verbalize something, be able to articulate it, is to go past it. The first step in growth is an accurate assessment of your current placement in a thing."

I believed her. I have since been reassured that her thoughts are considered truth.

My son has followed in my footsteps, when he wants to heal and grow. He is also a poet, like you, dear one.

God Bless you in your growth and deliverance and healing, in Jesus' name. amen.

 

[SeekAnd]

I've done this....sort of. I'll write God letters...but near as organized as that. Maybe I'll try that...post it in my Journal maybe...so other people can read it. I don't know...

One step at a time. Every journey begins with that first step. Then you build on that. Sometimes when we focus on the end of the jouney we get discouraged and dont even try. There is no way to go anywhere without that first step.
If the goal is to be able to share your story with other people you still have to share it with yourself first. Share it with God and build on that.

 

[Godsgirl481]

One step at a time. Every journey begins with that first step. Then you build on that. Sometimes when we focus on the end of the jouney we get discouraged and dont even try. There is no way to go anywhere without that first step.
If the goal is to be able to share your story with other people you still have to share it with yourself first. Share it with God and build on that.

I wrote a letter to God in my Journal today. I think I might post most of them directed to God instead of a 'Dear Diary' format. This is sort of like praying and maybe it will get me more answers

 

[Yasha]

I wrote a letter to God in my Journal today. I think I might post most of them directed to God instead of a 'Dear Diary' format. This is sort of like praying and maybe it will get me more answers

In my humble opinion, anytime we pull away from the herd, separate ourselves out and spend time with the Lord, we are honoring Him, seeking His face and worshiping Him. I consider all of my 'Letters to God' journals ~ prayer. And, the greatest thing of all about them....they have developed over the years to become two-way reciprocal conversations! I do a passage from the bible in each one, as well. AFTER I am done emptying my heart in prayer and confessing my many fears and anxieties, or whatever, thanking Him maybe for something or telling Him whatever I am trying to learn or understand; I ask Him to speak to my heart and I take a passage from the bible and reflect and react to it in writing. I decide how it might pertain to my concerns of the day...or... just free associate..."What came to my mind and heart while I was reading that?
Kind of a bible passage 'inkblot' thing.

Over time, when I get stuck or have nothing to write one day, I may go back and read pages and reflect on the ,usually, obvious path the Lord has opened up in answered prayer and leading in certain thoughts and direction in decisions. It is never boring. I am often so amazed with the things that unfold on those pages that I just HAVE TO SHARE THEM. So I'll read really miraculous things to my husband or my son. Those two are the only ones I've ever braved to show some pages. My husband and my son are both convinced that I should, like, publish them or something. I am MORE convinced that I should guard them as the private and intimate sanctuary that they are for me and my Lord.


I'm sorry if this is long, sometimes I think it helps you get started if you have an example of how someone else might approach something. PLEASE don't try to do it my way, create YOUR WAY.

Best of all....you did start...CONGRATULATIONS! God will honor your hope to know yourself through Him.

anyway....trust the Lord to help you develope YOUR LETTERS to Him in your own style and personal private intimacy with Him...and I will personally guarantee you that He will NOT disappoint you like so many humans have. He can't! He is perfect!

Bless you.

 

[Godsgirl481]

In my humble opinion, anytime we pull away from the herd, separate ourselves out and spend time with the Lord, we are honoring Him, seeking His face and worshiping Him. I consider all of my 'Letters to God' journals ~ prayer. And, the greatest thing of all about them....they have developed over the years to become two-way reciprocal conversations! I do a passage from the bible in each one, as well. AFTER I am done emptying my heart in prayer and confessing my many fears and anxieties, or whatever, thanking Him maybe for something or telling Him whatever I am trying to learn or understand; I ask Him to speak to my heart and I take a passage from the bible and reflect and react to it in writing. I decide how it might pertain to my concerns of the day...or... just free associate..."What came to my mind and heart while I was reading that?
Kind of a bible passage 'inkblot' thing.

Over time, when I get stuck or have nothing to write one day, I may go back and read pages and reflect on the ,usually, obvious path the Lord has opened up in answered prayer and leading in certain thoughts and direction in decisions. It is never boring. I am often so amazed with the things that unfold on those pages that I just HAVE TO SHARE THEM. So I'll read really miraculous things to my husband or my son. Those two are the only ones I've ever braved to show some pages. My husband and my son are both convinced that I should, like, publish them or something. I am MORE convinced that I should guard them as the private and intimate sanctuary that they are for me and my Lord.


I'm sorry if this is long, sometimes I think it helps you get started if you have an example of how someone else might approach something. PLEASE don't try to do it my way, create YOUR WAY.

Best of all....you did start...CONGRATULATIONS! God will honor your hope to know yourself through Him.

anyway....trust the Lord to help you develope YOUR LETTERS to Him in your own style and personal private intimacy with Him...and I will personally guarantee you that He will NOT disappoint you like so many humans have. He can't! He is perfect!

Bless you.

Yeah, I share it on here...my Journal on here...but none of you know me...so that's easier. I should start posting a scripture with it...that's a good idea...

 

[Yasha]

I think this sounds like a great way to begin a new journey with your healing. Thanks for sharing your thoughts,here.

I don't even know how to get into a person's journal on this forum, (only mine...heeehee. It's the note book by my bed with 2 bibles on top of it.)

I had such a really awesome time with the Lord in them these last few days, He is really jammin' with me. I pray He is blessing you, too.