Guidance needed

[plowboy22]

Hi All,
I am a newly saved christian and need some advice on an issue. I am currently dating a non-believer. My girlfriend was raised Catholic but has not been to church in MANY years. When I was saved, she was very "so what" about it. Anytime I mention church or my bible study she acts like she didn't hear me and changes the subject. It seems to me that the closer I get to God the farther away I get from her. As I pray and read the Bible, I feel that so much of our relationship is sinful. I feel guilty if we make love but I don't want to hurt her and say no. I feel that the relationship needs to end but I really don't want to ruin her Christmas. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

 

[drdeancrosby]

I just don't get it.You're thinking of celebrating the birthday of your Savior by continuing to engage in fornication?I think there's something wrong with this picture!Why don't you give Jesus a great birthday gift - repentance.Fornication is a deadly sin that sends people to hell.(1 Corinthians 6:9-10)Here's a great idea for you.Jesus said that if your right arm causes you to sin,cut off your right arm.I think in the spirit of the season,He will allow you to substitute your girlfriend for your arm.Stay close to Jesus,you won't regret it!

 

[wvmtnkid]

Plowboy, it sounds as though it may be time to do some re-evaluating in this relationship. You have become what the bible terms as unequally yoked in that you are a Christian and that your girlfriend is not (or at least it doesn't sound like she is from what you have described). I would say that the feeling that you have that the relationship should end is coming from the Holy Spirit as you come closer to God and realize that perhaps this isn't the right person to have in your life at the moment. Being in a relationship with a non-Christian is very hard because our priorites and outlook on life are very different. As you posted she seemed very uncaring about your being saved when that should have been a time of celebration in your life.

When you accepted Jesus into your life, you became a new creation. This means you cannot keep repeating the habits and sins of your old life and still feel that they are alright. The Holy Spirit won't let that happen. That's why you are feeling guilty when you are having sex or really doing anything that you know now goes against the word of God. I think you know what to do, you just have to make the decision to do it. That is sorta in your hands. You can ask your girlfriend to join you in your decision to accept Jesus. But until she does, she needs to accept that you are a different person now with different priorities. I have never heard anyone complain that putting Jesus and God first in their relationship (and doing it correctly) harmed their relationship. If she doesn't accept who you are now in Christ, well, all I can say is you have the decision to make.

 

[paulolo]

Okay.. while i was being discipled today we read a verse that says.. Bad company corrupts Good company. This is a good application to entering the world without getting entangled in it.. as well as your dating relationship. I will give you an illustration that should help you realize what to do. Your girlfriend has fallen.. she is on the ground and you offer her your hand to help her up.. but if you are starting to get pulled down by her instead of pulling her up.. you must let go, or this verse will quickly take place and spread. I have hade a non-christian girlfriend for about a month in highschool and i quickly broke it off and it ended up helping so much in the long run.. because i know that without the help of others keeping me accountable and me not reading the bible and praying at that time I would be drug down fast. My opinion is to break it off. Also, i would go to your youth minister to seek advice on accountability partners.. or by yourself find a christian male that you trust and would feel comfortable sharing your strugles and problems with.. also.. it is very important that you have a place that you meet at least once a week at a set time.. If you do not have this kind of relationship it is very easy to fall into a repetition of certain sins. I hope this helps you out.. if you need any other questions yell

 

[openeyes]

Hi All,
I am a newly saved christian and need some advice on an issue. I am currently dating a non-believer. My girlfriend was raised Catholic but has not been to church in MANY years. When I was saved, she was very "so what" about it. Anytime I mention church or my bible study she acts like she didn't hear me and changes the subject. It seems to me that the closer I get to God the farther away I get from her. As I pray and read the Bible, I feel that so much of our relationship is sinful. I feel guilty if we make love but I don't want to hurt her and say no. I feel that the relationship needs to end but I really don't want to ruin her Christmas. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

pb,
You obviously have some deep rooted feelings toward this young lady or the decision would have been easy.
I think there maybe some emberassment envolved with her decision to not attend worship anymore, and avoid any religious discussions, AKA... peer pressure. She is not lost however, and true love can open her eyes. You must be the example, she needs to find shelter in you. If she is truly in love with you the physicality of the relationship should be second and cutting it out would have no bearing in the relationship, if it does irrepairble damage then so be it, God is there for you to lean on and take shelter in for youself.
Hope this helps.
God bless

 

[Yitzchak]

Hi All,
I am a newly saved christian and need some advice on an issue. I am currently dating a non-believer. My girlfriend was raised Catholic but has not been to church in MANY years. When I was saved, she was very "so what" about it. Anytime I mention church or my bible study she acts like she didn't hear me and changes the subject. It seems to me that the closer I get to God the farther away I get from her. As I pray and read the Bible, I feel that so much of our relationship is sinful. I feel guilty if we make love but I don't want to hurt her and say no. I feel that the relationship needs to end but I really don't want to ruin her Christmas. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

In a marriage it is important for things to be mutual espeacially on the big issues. I understand that the christian faith is a new thing for you and therefore a change from before. However, I would expect that in a close relationship, that your partner would be interested in something that major in your life. Myself, if I was in such a situation, I would confront my spouse/girlfriend and ask why no interest or such resistence to your christian faith. I would come straight out and say "how can we continue to grow together as a couple if we exclude eachother from such important parts of our lives."
It is possible that there is room for a compromise. Meaning she might agree to go to a church group that the two of you choose together. It is also possible that she can figure out that the two of you being involved in church means radical changes such as giving up fornication. I would discuss it with her honestly and give it some time for her to think it over and make a decision. But make it clear this is a permenant and important part of your life now and that if the two of you are going to stay together she will have to deal with it in a way that both of you can be comfortable with. Relationships are too important to just throw away casually. But you must maintain your integrity or the relationship will die a slow painful death anyway. You cannot make her choices for her. But you can let her know you value her and your relationship and have a place for her beside you in your faith walk if she will take it.
If all of this fails miserably. Well, in that case then go with the advice given in this thread already to hang on to your faith and lose the girl.

 

[desi]

You are considerate to not ruin her Christmas, breaking up with her between now and shortly after New Years could really screw her up. However, you can use the relationship as leverage to get her into church with you as you 'feel awkward going to chruch alone with some of the women there looking your way.' She'll probably go and just maybe God will work on her heart. If nothing changes or she gets hostile about it the relationship will probably end. I'll pray for you and her either way.

 

[plowboy22]

I have decided to end this relationship. I will continue to be her friend (I hope) and pray for her, but my heart tells me that what I am doing is sinful. I am going to try very hard to not upset her Christmas, but this is something that I need to do. Thanks for all the advice.

God Bless,

 

[wvmtnkid]

Praying for you plowboy22. It isn't easy to end a relationship with someone you care about, regardless of the circumstances.