Growing older...

[blackribbon]

Do you really believe the single men in your church are ungodly? Or are there no men in your church?

 

[pdudgeon]

there are only 3 single men in my church that I know of, two of whom are mature.
of those two one is confirmed single, a deacon, and not looking,
and the other is more of the political/social world than of the church.

another who was a visitor, a man of God, and who was actively looking advised me that while I had qualities he admired he was looking for a Latin Rite Catholic. (Although why he was looking in a Novus Ordo Church baffles me) His solution (of course!) was that I should try various dating sites online.

If I'm looking for a man who is devoted to and follows God, why would I be looking at a site that caters to the world at large?

By all that is right I should be able to find that man (and he to find me) in mass at a Catholic Church.
So I remain...waiting to be found.

God knows where I am, which pew I sit in at mass, and I believe that He is perfectly able to provide the best directions in the world to the right man who is actively seeking a wife.

Provided of course that the man can hear God, and is willing to search for a wife in the right places.

 

[Servant68]

So I remain...waiting to be found.

God knows where I am, which pew I sit in at mass, and I believe that He is perfectly able to provide the best directions in the world to the right man who is actively seeking a wife.

Reminds me of the old joke...

A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.

Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, "Jump in, I can save you."

The stranded fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me."

So the rowboat went on.

Then a motorboat came by. "The fellow in the motorboat shouted, "Jump in, I can save you."

To this the stranded man said, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."

So the motorboat went on.

Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, "Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety."

To this the stranded man again replied, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."

So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.

Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, "I had faith in you but you didn't save me, you let me drown. I don't understand why!"

To this God replied, "I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"

 

[Servant68]

Just wanted to clarify that I'm not judging your approach or mocking you in any way.

I don't think someone who prays for God to deliver them a mate and then takes proactive steps to actually meet one is any more scripturally sound than someone who prays for a mate and does nothing to actually find one with the belief that God will deliver one.

 

[dayhiker]

I must say pdudgeon, I love that you had those serious conversations with the single guys you have meet and were up front with what you are looking for. Seems the guys were upfront with you as well. Sounds like good healthy conversations.

I lean much more with the people that say don't sit and wait till the God sends or the guy comes to you, but go out looking. Which the conversations you had above you would do just find looking for the Christian man that is also on a dating site looking for a Christian woman.
I also do a lot of meetups ... meetup.com ... not a dating site but a way to meet people that have similar interests. Just read that one of the meetups I've used over the years has had 80 people find a mate over the years. So that might work for you better than a dating site.

 

[pdudgeon]

Just wanted to clarify that I'm not judging your approach or mocking you in any way.

I don't think someone who prays for God to deliver them a mate and then takes proactive steps to actually meet one is any more scripturally sound than someone who prays for a mate and does nothing to actually find one with the belief that God will deliver one.

no problem, and thanks very much for your reply. It's nice to know that someone out there understands the problems.

This is not my first time searching, but it has been a long 17 years since I've done this sort of thing.
Back then I did the web search and went on a couple of meets.
My ad stated that I was looking for a 'knight in rusty armor."

I wasn't perfect and I wasn't looking for perfection either. What I found in the responses were 2 different men of God.
The difference between the two was their commitment; one wanted some happy times and entertainment while the other wanted a wife.
I went with bachelor #2, we married, and had a very good 13 years together until he passed 4 years ago.

I didn't even begin to entertain the thought of looking again until very recently.
I know now what it's like to be married to a good Christian man who knows God,
and is not afraid to own it.
So I would rather stay single before I ever considered anything other than marriage to a man who was not fully committed to God first.

Maybe that would scare some men away, but the ones who stay would be worth a King's ransom in my eyes.

 

[Khalliqa]

1. A mature woman won't want a man who's desire is a woman much younger than you. So it's okay that they are looking. You're not a match.

2. There are men who are in their 40s looking for women in their age group. You may not be geographically or socially compatible with those men doesn't mean they are not out there.

3. Looking for anyone is usually over rated. Whoever you are your likely compatible mate will be in your social circles or involved directly or indirectly in your interests. Even if your interest is an online venue. Whoever you are is likely to be compatible with a man in your mental and physical environment. So if you're content to wait for someone to come to you.. he is likely to be in your environment or social circle and the circumstances have not come together for you two to meet and fall in love.. either he's so much like you h'es waiting too or seeking but not in the place you're in or you're in a place where that type of man will likely not be met by you in your lifetime. It's a chance you take.

4. Just be yourself because that's the only control you have over love.. and be open to new experiences and friendships when they present themselves.

5. Love is neither old or young. The butterflies if they are felt.. and the energy and the giddiness if it's there.. is just there.. in 50 year old form or 18 year old form.. When another person makes you feel great.. secure.. loved.. Just allow it to be..