Grim Future

[Daniel_Standish]

Wow okay. Who said anything about marriage?!? True love knows no end. True love knows no boundaries. True love is eternal. Need I go on?!? Jesus loved with no end. Is it so wrong that I LOVE a girl?!? What is wrong? I dont understand. I started this thread asking for help with the fact that I must move. I ended up getting people telling me that I am too young and immature to even have love in the first place. I came to this website seeking help...all I got was more hurt. No one helps me when all they concentrate on is the fact that I am 15. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT?!? Do I have to die before people will believe that I actually do love Marissa and that I will do anything for her? I dont understand you. I am allowed to love her. And when I finally do get married to her...I will look you up just to prove that you were wrong about me...and that I can love like my Lord Jesus Christ. His love shines through me and extends out to Marissa. In the meantime...you tell me that I am too young to love anyone. Thanks for your help...but I think I was better off alone.

 

[fadedblue]

Daniel, I don't think people mean to judge you on your age--it's just that it's a fairly legitimate reason for people to raise some issues about the situation, that's all. But I mean, people mature at different ages, different times of their lives...when I was 15, I definitely wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Anyway, I think though, that if you really want people to take you seriously about it then you're going to have to accept the fact that people are going to question you. They're not looking to put you down, I just think they have legitimate worries. Also, you're looking for a solution to a problem, and frankly, no one here is going to be able to give you that. That's where God comes in...lift up your relationship to him, and I mean everything...cause He's the only one who can show you your "solution". The rest of us, we can give you some advice, some of our experiences, but really nothing else.

But okay, that aside, here's some "advice" . Now, long distance relationship doesn't immediately mean relationship death. Sure, it doesn't work out for everyone, but it doesn't mean it's hopeless. I think it depends a lot on the two people involved and how you two choose to handle it. At the same time, it's the first year of college and believe me, so much can change. You're both getting adjusted to a new life, a new way of living...and it's hard to keep a relationship going the same way it was before without sacrificing your new college life at school, including work, friends, etc. for the girl and vice versa. But I guess that's what compromise is about. If you're willing to go for it, you're going to have to accept that things won't be exactly the way you want them to be, but if you really have faith in her, your relationship, and especially God, I think you'll eventually be able to live with it. And now, you'll be getting breaks at school! Not to mention summer vacation...lots of opportunities to visit...as long as you're careful and mindful...for my boyfriend and me, it was easy to become enveloped in each other when we saw each other the few times we were allowed to during our first year apart, which can really lead to sin. But yay, we've finally got ourselves out of that hole ! And also, just pray daily about your relationship...and you know, be mindful not only about the emotions and feelings, but also of the spiritual condition of it as well. Lift Marissa up to Him, and pray that He can gradually continue to mature her into a true woman of the Lord while at the same time working and changing you into a faithful and steadfast man of God. Keeping both of your eyes on God will be really helpful in the times apart.

Okay, I've blathered on long enough . Hope you found some of that helpful.

 

[Daniel_Standish]

Thank you for that. I guess my problem is that I know what to do...it's just doing it that is difficult. In life, I relate everything to a chess match. Right now, I see where I came from...and I see how that has all lead up to this part of my life. But now that I am here...I am wondering what the next move should be. I feel like I am playing against God. Never play against God...He always wins. So I dont know where His move is leading. I dont know why He brought this girl into my life at this time. I dont know what He plans to do from here. I am very confused by this move. But I guess that is just why God is so elusive and erratic. I guess that is what makes Him God. Maybe I am just fooling myself. I know I can never understand the future. I know I can never "figure out God" but I am grasping for just a hint of understanding...and there is none. There is no logical reason for this move God has made...at least in my eyes. That is why I came on this website...to see other people's perspective. Maybe they can see the purpose of God's move and I cant. Maybe someone can show me where I may be headed. I didnt come here to argue over the situation...I came here for help if I can get it. Thank you for your input...I really appreciate the help.

 

[fadedblue]

I understand .

But you know, God works in mysterious ways...and sometimes we perceive that what He does is just, like in case to you, completely illogical and mystifying. But God is just, and He does what is best for us, even when it seems far from it. A relationship isn't just all candy and roses and saying I love you...even though sometimes we all wish it'd just stay sweet, harmless, and innocent. There is hardship, and there are trials, but you know what? If the both of you can work through it, then the both of you will come out so much better for it. Perhaps you should stop questioning why He's doing this, and maybe try to thank Him (I know, it's easier said than done) for giving you two an opportunity to strengthen your relationship in a different way.

 

[Living4Him03]

Unless you are ready to be married you are not ready for a serious relationship, plain and simple. It has nothing to do with maturity. I am just trying to give helpful advise based on experience, I'm not insulting you.

 

[Daniel_Standish]

Oh I thank Him every single night. I thank God for bringing Marissa into my life. I thank Him for giving me the opportunity to show my love and loyalty to Him through Marissa. I thank Him that He is strenthening me. I thank Him that I will grow and am growing from this experience. I thank Him that no matter what the road ahead holds, He will always be there for me to put all my faith in. I thank Jesus every night for dieing for my sins. I thank Him for loving an individual that doesn't deserve another breath. I pray to God every morning to bless Marissa and watch over her, and to keep our relationship running strong and in Him always. Most of my prayers to God are nothing but prayers of thanks to Him. I am still confused at His move...but I thank Him because I know that whatever it is...it is for the best for the both of us. I love Him and I love her. I am still learning this new feeling called love. It is a new experience for me. I have never felt this way about anyone or anything before. I mean, I have had crushes before...but I have never felt like this before. It is just unexplainable. It is just wholly awesome...that is how I know it comes from God. It is truely awesome.

 

[Nater_Tater]

This is why I am waiting til AFTER college to look for a girlfriend.

 

[fadedblue]

well then i'm very glad! no need to be all down about it...as long as you have the right mindset, then go and cherish the time you have left with marissa . i'll pray for the both of you

 

[Daniel_Standish]

Thank you very much for your prayers. I will try not to worry about the unknown. I will try to just leave it up to God...I'm sure He knows what He's doing (He usually does!). Thank you all for all your help.

 

[Living4Him03]

This is why I am waiting til AFTER college to look for a girlfriend.

 

[Daniel_Standish]

Hey...I never went looking for a girlfriend! I never could have imagined that this would have happened. I do not think I am the kind of guy that any girl would want. But God sorta thrust Marissa into my life...and now I am glad He did...but just a little confused. I am not quite sure why God brought her into my life so soon. Now I have to move...and I am not sure how things are going to happen.

 

[Pope Gonzo]

Wow okay. Who said anything about marriage?!?

Wow... this is a big red flag for me. Who said anything about marriage? You did. You talked about how much you love her in your first post. Love is a strong word, and when you said you love her, I assumed you meant that you were mentally ready to marry her. That's why I brought up your age right away.

 

[Daniel_Standish]

Excuse me...but love does not always have to lead to marriage. Yes I do want to marry her...BUT OF COURSE NOT RIGHT NOW! I know I am too young for marriage right now...I dont want marriage right now all I want is love. Is that too much to ask? Is there a certain age that you must be in order to love somebody? I think not. Dont be so quick to jump to conlusions and judge me. I love her. Did I say I wanted to marry her at the age of 15? I will wait until we have both been in college for at least 4 years before I begin to bring marriage into the picture. Just because I truely love somebody...doesnt mean I want to marry them immediately.

 

[Living4Him03]

If you really do love her you will do what's best for her.

Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet were young and in love. Their story was tragic because they became foolish due to their "love". Just be careful and guard your heart.

 

[Pope Gonzo]

Excuse me...but love does not always have to lead to marriage.

What else would it lead to? The priesthood?

I'm sorry for offering the best advice I can give... I know I'm foolish, but I'm obviously far more immature than you. Please forgive me.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Enjoy each other. Worry about tomorrow when it comes.

 

[EmSchmem]

Wow okay. Who said anything about marriage?!? True love knows no end. True love knows no boundaries. True love is eternal. Need I go on?!? Jesus loved with no end. Is it so wrong that I LOVE a girl?!? What is wrong? I dont understand. I started this thread asking for help with the fact that I must move. I ended up getting people telling me that I am too young and immature to even have love in the first place. I came to this website seeking help...all I got was more hurt. No one helps me when all they concentrate on is the fact that I am 15. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT?!? Do I have to die before people will believe that I actually do love Marissa and that I will do anything for her? I dont understand you. I am allowed to love her. And when I finally do get married to her...I will look you up just to prove that you were wrong about me...and that I can love like my Lord Jesus Christ. His love shines through me and extends out to Marissa. In the meantime...you tell me that I am too young to love anyone. Thanks for your help...but I think I was better off alone.

Did you just ahve a tantrum?

 

[Daniel_Standish]

Let me ask you a question...did Jesus marry? Did Jesus love? If you answer both those questions...maybe you will see that love does not always have to lead to marriage. Maybe I can just love her and be there for her...who knows...maybe God has another girl in store for me to marry. I don't know the mind of God...and you dont either. Stop trying to tell me how I feel...I feel love. Deal with it. That doesnt mean I have to marry the girl...I want to yes...but I do not know God's will for my life. Maybe you should stop jumping to conclusions and judging me as if I were like every other guy...maybe I am different.

 

[Pope Gonzo]

Jesus' bride is the Church. We, as men, our to love our own brides as Christ loves the Church. I thought I had loved a woman before I met Steph, but in hindsight I realize that even though I have cared a lot for that girl, who I still consider a very good friend of mine, it isn't the same.

Stop trying to tell me how I feel...I feel love.

I'm not telling you how you feel. I'm telling you that what you feel, and what you think is love, is most likely not. Love is a continual action, not a happy feeling you get when you think about her and hug her. The fact that you're getting so defensive about it shows that you're not wanting to understand the points I'm making because you're afraid that I'm right and you don't want to lose the happy feeling that your girlfriend gives you. Frankly, I find it incredibly annoying, immature, and offensive for you to come here and bring up your situation, seeking wisdom (a very wise act in itself), and then openly reject it without giving it the benefit of a doubt. I'm praying for you, brother.

 

[Daniel_Standish]

DONT YOU DARE TELL ME THAT I AM NOT FEELING LOVE...easy for you to say...you already have Steph.
I came here for different people's opinions. And I thank you for yours. But do not tell me that I am unwise or immature. Do not judge me like everyone else. I asked for your help...not for your judgement. Why does everyone come on here to tell me that I am young, immature, annoying, insignificant, and weak? What have I done? Is it a sin that I love a girl? Is it a sin that I am confused and am asking for help?