gotta question

[OCDyeahyouknowme]

I have been struggling some with my salvation due to the fact that I have ocd. But it seems that every morning i wake up , as soon as i wake up and even sometimes before, i struggle with it and I have to
"get" my mind into thinking im the Lords or something of that nature.
But what disturbs me is that I have to do that all the time and it seems like I have to get some kinda head knowledge of something that I want but do not have. If the Lord has trully done a work in me then it shouldnt be this difficult, salvation is a work of God and not of man and if it was of God then I shouldnt be struggling with this as much as I do.

Another thing that im kinda worried about is that could it be possible to have a ocd over "religion" or even the mere fact of God, and not trully be looking to Him, just the idea of God and obsessing over it? Just wondering.

 

[gracealone]

I have to "get" my mind into thinking im the Lords or something of that nature.
But what disturbs me is that I have to do that all the time and it seems like I have to get some kinda head knowledge of something that I want but do not have.

Hi Friend,
When you say you "have to" do these things what you are really saying is that you feel compelled to do these things. Doing these things provides a temporary reassuring feeling in the same way a person with hand washing OCD has to wash their hands over and over. Or in the same way a person with OCD might check locks on doors you are "checking" your faith to see if it's still locked. (quote from Marcb) Doing these things is the compulsive activity of the disorder.

If the Lord has trully done a work in me then it shouldnt be this difficult, salvation is a work of God and not of man and if it was of God then I shouldnt be struggling with this as much as I do.

You wouldn't be struggling with it if you didn't have OCD. And your OCD wouldn't have latched onto this if the Lord hadn't done a work in your life. The Lord is the most important thing in your life and therefore if you have OCD it's bound to latch onto your relationship with Him and try to get you obsessing that something is terribly amiss with that.

Another thing that im kinda worried about is that could it be possible to have a ocd over "religion" or even the mere fact of God, and not trully be looking to Him, just the idea of God and obsessing over it? Just wondering.[/quote]

No, because OCD only latches onto those things which we hold near and dear because it cannot get us to freak out otherwise.

God Bless and I'll continue praying for you.
Mitzi

 

[OCDyeahyouknowme]

Thank you Mitzi. It has been a real struggle with this. It makes it real difficult to follow the Lord when I have these feelings. Its almost like I dont even know whats my true motives and when its the ocd making me think that its something else.
I also feel guilty cause I am having such a hard time with this and i feel as if im continuing to reject the Lord or something. I kinda feel as if im watching myself from a different view and observing everything i do, from thought, to actions , and even down to how i feel when i do stuff or think stuff. So with that kind of thinking i am over consumed with " why did i think that" or "why did i feel that way" when i hear about sin or something like that.
Also when i hear stuff like "im a sinner" i get so stressed because though i know im a sinner it seems as if my mind is not letting me understand that im a sinner and therfore i feel horrible so it makes it hard to "come to the Savior" . I dont know, its all kinda confusing.

 

[gracealone]

I don't know if you will find this comforting or not but every thing you've just described is abnormally, normal as far as how religious OCD operates. (I really hate that term - I prefer to call it "relationship OCD because Christianity is a relationship not just a religion.)
As to practical help with this type of OCD which is really "pure O" OCD I've found Dr. Stephen Philipson's articles on it to be really helpful.
You can check them out at:
http://www.ocdonline.com
Read - "Rethinking the unthinkable" and "speak of the devil".
These same techniques can be applied very effectively to the obsessional content of your OCD.
Give them a read and let me know what you think.
I know that right now it's difficult to pray, read your Bible etc. because it triggers the thoughts and the fears but you need to keep at it even if you can only handle short periods of it. Avoidance will only make matters worse. Remember that when OCD is really bad it fogs and confuses our thought processes - so that's just one more piece of evidence that this is all OCD and not a real or valid spiritual problem.
Hang in there... this too shall pass.
Mitzi

Thank you Mitzi. It has been a real struggle with this. It makes it real difficult to follow the Lord when I have these feelings. Its almost like I dont even know whats my true motives and when its the ocd making me think that its something else.
I also feel guilty cause I am having such a hard time with this and i feel as if im continuing to reject the Lord or something. I kinda feel as if im watching myself from a different view and observing everything i do, from thought, to actions , and even down to how i feel when i do stuff or think stuff. So with that kind of thinking i am over consumed with " why did i think that" or "why did i feel that way" when i hear about sin or something like that.
Also when i hear stuff like "im a sinner" i get so stressed because though i know im a sinner it seems as if my mind is not letting me understand that im a sinner and therfore i feel horrible so it makes it hard to "come to the Savior" . I dont know, its all kinda confusing.

 

[JohnnieGuy]

I think you should discover some of the strongholds in your life as to WHY you believe these lies, which are from Satan, and then deal with them using the rock of His Word.

He loves you, you gotta KNOW it or the Devils gonna keep you down in any way he can.