I have never had an affair. I have had offers, but always turned them down. I also have never had a one night stand and my only sex partner has been my wife. We have not been close in years, but are trying.
After working with a female friend for the past 10 years I noticed things starting to change. She was a lot friendlier. She is a single mom and her one child had just left the nest. I am married with two kids.
We were all at a bar with a male friend one afternoon and the lady friend and I just started holding hands. I was thrilled. I hadn't had female physical contact let alone sex in over a year. I had fallen in love with this woman years ago, but never told her. Never saw the point.
The talk turned sexual. Our male friend and she said they could do one night stands, but didn't think I could. She said I would feel too guilty. They then said they both could have sex just for sex without ties, emotional involvement, etc. They both felt that I couldn't.
The summer went on and like a fool I continued to hold hands with her right out in public. My male friend said don't do that...get a room. We progressed to heavy petting...again right in public. She dropped hints that it wasn't wise, but never said no. I must state at this time that I had no idea what I was doing.
I didn't know at the time what she wanted, which was sex with no ties. I would love to have had sex with her, but didn't know what to do or how to ask. I also missed her hints. I know all of this months after the fact because my male mutual friend told me.
I finally told her I wanted to be more than friends. She told me I was married. I didn't get that after what had happened all summer so I told her if I was single she would be the one. She then asked me about divorce, who would get the kids. She was very concerned I would get divorced and regret it and miss the kids. She and I both share the idea that kids are most important. She then told me to go home and make the best of it. She has had no contact with me since.
My male friend has talked with her and says she feels terrible about this and says she has no contact with me because it is the only way to handle it for her. I would just like to talk, to clear up things, but no go. I found out now she did this to protect everyone, especially the kids.
What a bone head amateur I am. My friend says it might be a year or more if then if we can all get together again. He says she feels terrible how things went and ended, as I do. She is very private he said she is very scared and didn't know what to do and only told him stuff because he was there from the beginning.
I have not tried to contact her for over a month and will continue not to as she wishes that I don't. For her it was about sex, but I think it ended with her emotions starting to get a little involved which she didn't want and that too scared her. For me, as much as I would love to have sex with her, it was emotional, just loving her, having a friend to talk to.
Any advice? Any chance we could get together again as friends? As more? Was this an affair or not? My friend says she misses getting together.
After working with a female friend for the past 10 years I noticed things starting to change. She was a lot friendlier. She is a single mom and her one child had just left the nest. I am married with two kids.
We were all at a bar with a male friend one afternoon and the lady friend and I just started holding hands. I was thrilled. I hadn't had female physical contact let alone sex in over a year. I had fallen in love with this woman years ago, but never told her. Never saw the point.
The talk turned sexual. Our male friend and she said they could do one night stands, but didn't think I could. She said I would feel too guilty. They then said they both could have sex just for sex without ties, emotional involvement, etc. They both felt that I couldn't.
The summer went on and like a fool I continued to hold hands with her right out in public. My male friend said don't do that...get a room. We progressed to heavy petting...again right in public. She dropped hints that it wasn't wise, but never said no. I must state at this time that I had no idea what I was doing.
I didn't know at the time what she wanted, which was sex with no ties. I would love to have had sex with her, but didn't know what to do or how to ask. I also missed her hints. I know all of this months after the fact because my male mutual friend told me.
I finally told her I wanted to be more than friends. She told me I was married. I didn't get that after what had happened all summer so I told her if I was single she would be the one. She then asked me about divorce, who would get the kids. She was very concerned I would get divorced and regret it and miss the kids. She and I both share the idea that kids are most important. She then told me to go home and make the best of it. She has had no contact with me since.
My male friend has talked with her and says she feels terrible about this and says she has no contact with me because it is the only way to handle it for her. I would just like to talk, to clear up things, but no go. I found out now she did this to protect everyone, especially the kids.
What a bone head amateur I am. My friend says it might be a year or more if then if we can all get together again. He says she feels terrible how things went and ended, as I do. She is very private he said she is very scared and didn't know what to do and only told him stuff because he was there from the beginning.
I have not tried to contact her for over a month and will continue not to as she wishes that I don't. For her it was about sex, but I think it ended with her emotions starting to get a little involved which she didn't want and that too scared her. For me, as much as I would love to have sex with her, it was emotional, just loving her, having a friend to talk to.
Any advice? Any chance we could get together again as friends? As more? Was this an affair or not? My friend says she misses getting together.
Run away and never look back my friend. You also need to confess this sin to the Lord and your wife. Relationships should be based on honesty and integrity. Right now your's is lacking this trait. 
