Look, I'm sorry if defending my patriarchate has somehow offended you. But the Patriarchate of Antioch is fully canonical and is in communion with every other existing canonical patriarchate within the Orthodox Church.
I've seen other patriarchs do things I find worthy of a headscratch or two, but as long as the other canonical Orthodox churches don't find it necessary to break communion, neither do I. There's a reason that
they're the hierarchs and
I'm the laywoman.
(Lay...girl? Lay...young lady? Laylady? I better stop before I get that Bob Dylan song stuck in my head.

)
Anyway, the point is, God did not ordain me to fill such a position in my church, and it's certainly not my place to try.
When I was an inquirer... as sure as I am of this life, when I was an inquirer, I felt as though I was being guided. I'm not sure if it was my guardian angel or perhaps the hand of the Holy Spirit Himself, but I was not called to become part of the Greek Orthodox church, or the ROCOR church, or the OCA church, but the tiny Antiochian mission. And I, with my weak and pitiful excuse for faith, was sent not a great vision from above, some kind of amazing theophany that would shake the very earth on which I stood. It simply happened that a nice boy came into my life, and he came from the Antiochian church. He didn't trample underfoot my former delusion with strokes of verbal violence--his quiet personal wisdom and faith spoke to my very heart. Now he is one of my very dear friends and every day I thank our Lord for sending him into my life. I wouldn't be here without him. Who knows if I would even still be a Christian, if it had not been for him?