Good Clean Jokes! :)

[Sangarime]

knock-knock
who's there
no one
no one who?
is there no one other then me who hates knock knock jokes?

lol jordan! you should have read the other jokes in here besides the one knock-knock i posted... but for those who don't mind here's another knock knock


Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Melissa.
Melissa who?
Melissa to you and
I get in trouble.

 

[Sangarime]

They had to fire the baseball player. He was so kind he wouldn't even catch a fly.

 

[dmiller]

I once dated a lady who was a weather forecaster at a local TV station.

We talked up a storm.

 

[Sangarime]

I once dated a lady who was a weather forecaster at a local TV station.

We talked up a storm.

funny dmiller



Did u hear about the artist who was so bad he couldn't even draw his breath?

 

[~ Gig ~]

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

 

[~ Gig ~]

A mother was driving her kids to school one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant.

 

[Sangarime]

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

thanks forever thankful

 

[newlite]

Forever Thankful: love the dog one. hahahaha vbmenu_register("postmenu_8877228", true);

 

[newlite]

hey! whats with the "vbmenu_register("postmenu_8877228", true);" at the end of my post? what or who put it there?

 

[Sangarime]

hey! whats with the "vbmenu_register("postmenu_8877228", true);" at the end of my post? what or who put it there?

not i...

Suzie: What time is it?
Father: Three o'clock.
Suzie: oh, no, not again!
Father: What's the matter?
Suzie: I've been asking people fo the time all day, and everyone I ask tells me soemthing different.

 

[Sangarime]

Ernie: There's a man outside with a wooden leg named Smith.

Bernie: What's the name of his other leg?

 

[Sangarime]

Teacher: What comes after "G?"
Sam: Whiz?
Teacher: No. Let's try again. What comes after "T?"
Sam: V?
Teacher: Sam, I'll give you just one more chance. What comes after "O?"
Sam: Boy!

 

[Sangarime]

How about this one!
There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "if I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen".

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen." The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, Your wife fell three times this week."