Going to try to not sound silly..

[HolyOne87]

It's weird. Each guy i seem to have interest in is either taken or gay.
This somewhat gets frustrating. I try to get to know guys but most of the time its like they don't want to get to know me (mainly b/c im the "weird" one..weird because i won't have sex before marriage, or im a heavy follower of Christ).

It's just so hard to find a decent guy. Most I've met are scum (i know thats harsh to say, but its somewhat true). I haven't met one good christian guy yet. Well, I have, but he's already in a happy relationship. And the other just recently got into a relationship.

I mean, its not that i don't enjoy being single, I love it. I love not having to consult someone telling them im going out.

But I feel I won't find that good Christian guy because of my shyness and the lack of good Christian guys around my area. There is really none around Long Island, its sad.

And at church, you do not really see anyone my age there. It's either young teens(12-17) or older adults(late thirties and up). Thats it. No one really in the 20-30 range.

I dunno..This somewhat turned into a rant.
im not really this way(usually im happy and cheerful). I guess im just a tad depressed over something small. :o

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

You're not alone. I'm in the same situation and I think many are here on CF.

 

[LonesomeTexan]

Man I'm plotting a business oportunity. A Christian dating service would help out alot of lonely singles out there. I really think I'm on to something. Patent pending lol. No stealing my idea.

 

[Godfollower2189]

I remember my cousin always saying that all the good guys were either taken or gay. I don't think she ever dated until she met her husband. It's frustrating and discouraging when you see no Christian guys your age. I use to have several guy friends that claimed to be Christian, but apparently that was just a church thing they did. After I started hanging out with the outside church, I got to know the way they really acted. Needless to say they don't really like me anymore.

 

[Bubba1301]

Okay... I'll try not to get on a rant here

For you my sister, still being in your 20's - heck even 30's that is still considered "young". So far I am the oldest to post and I can empathize with what is being said. It does "seem" like all the good ones are taken. Then the frustration is that those who do seem like awesome people to date that we chat with online are hundreds or even thousands of miles away and internet dating is one thing, but to meet and actually speak with the person is totally different.

Might I make a suggestion or two.
** Try networking around Long Island to find Christian singles events

** You may even consider switching churches to one with a healthy young adult ministry.

** Learn to be content in God as a single first and allow Him to open the door to some awesome Christian guys to date.

** You might keep in mind that some of us guys are just as shy as you ladies - some are worse in my opinion. Our egos are quite fragile, even though we may not want to admit it.

** Place yourself in situtations where you will force yourself to break out of your shyness shell. Social events - (dances -not clubs -, festivals, etc)

 

[cslrwilliams]

I guess I'm now the old one to post on here & I am in the same position. I too am shy when it comes to meeting people--but once we are into conversation--I tend to be more outgoing. I am nearly 40--Catholic--& likewise have maintained my virginity. I have a very deep hope to meet a special woman with whom to share my life in marriage--but I know I have to be patient & trust that God is looking out for my best interests. I struggle with impatience at times--so I have to be more patient & that is very challenging. I have to follow God's lead. I hold out the hope that God will lead the 2 of us together--whomever that special woman may be.

 

[JPPT1974]

Praying that God will change
All of that and no you don't sound silly
As you only want to do His will and find
Christian men your age.

 

[Cooch]

I guess I'm now the old one to post on here .

Not anymore.... <grin>

I agree that often it seems as though the "good ones" are already taken. I suspect that one reason that it seems that way, is that those who are already taken have had some more time and experience to work out any issues that they may have. Another reason may be that I'm more comfortable around women who are spoken for, because there is no self-imposed pressure on me to "check this one out."

What irks me ("irks" is far to genteel a word for it) is that I've spent over 20 years praying and working and trying to be one of the "good ones" myself ..... and it hasn't bloody worked! I kid you not. My constant prayer has been that God will either make of me "good husband material" or take away the desire to be married.

Instead, my motivation remains mixed (actually, I'm pretty much convinced that no-one has absolutely pure motivation, but my bottom line remains "Not my will, Lord, but thine." ) I just grow older, grumpier, less tolerant and less able to handle conflict "well". To be truthful, I'm glad that I'm not dragging a wife (and by extension, a family) through the depression which I've increasingly experienced over the last few years. It's simply not my idea of "love" to do so, which inclines me to join the "not looking" club, even tho my instinct is otherwise.

Please...... No Job's-Comforter type cliches. They don't help.

Regards.......... Peter.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Not silly at all. I'm always joking that my 'gaydar' doesn't work. Everytime I get interested in someone I find out they are gay. I assume if they aren't, then they are likely taken. Seems like Christians (ppl who grew up as Christians) get married right out of high school. Some unwritten rule there? Those of us who weren't so lucky to come from sound Christian homes get left with whatever is out there. I feel like now that I'm in my late 30's, the people that haven't married by now probably have some serious issues that keep them from it. (myself included even though I'm technically divorced)

I'm not really depressed. I've just given up. I just get angry when my parents or friends try to tell me that giving up isn't the answer. How would THEY know what's best for me??? grrrrrrr

 

[SergeAStrom]

Cajuns oh baby yeah!

It's weird. Each guy i seem to have interest in is either taken or gay.
This somewhat gets frustrating. I try to get to know guys but most of the time its like they don't want to get to know me (mainly b/c im the "weird" one..weird because i won't have sex before marriage, or im a heavy follower of Christ).

It's just so hard to find a decent guy. Most I've met are scum (i know thats harsh to say, but its somewhat true). I haven't met one good christian guy yet. Well, I have, but he's already in a happy relationship. And the other just recently got into a relationship.

I mean, its not that i don't enjoy being single, I love it. I love not having to consult someone telling them im going out.

But I feel I won't find that good Christian guy because of my shyness and the lack of good Christian guys around my area. There is really none around Long Island, its sad.

And at church, you do not really see anyone my age there. It's either young teens(12-17) or older adults(late thirties and up). Thats it. No one really in the 20-30 range.

I dunno..This somewhat turned into a rant.
im not really this way(usually im happy and cheerful). I guess im just a tad depressed over something small. :o