God's plan for singles...

[StaySalty]

What do you think God's plan is for singles? Most churches I've been to don't exactly show a whole lot of loving support...

 

[StaySalty]

Do you feel He's testing our faith? Or do you see it as a cross?

 

[KeilCoppes]

I don't believe there's a "one-size-fits-all" plan. God deals with us all individually - down to the hairs of our head (which in my case He simplified). With each of us, though, whether or single or married, the scriptural principle of dedication to God in all things fits. Really, the question God has for us to answer is - how are we going to live with Him in all conditions?

And parts of life can be trial or blessing or both at the same time. (check out Jas 1, Phip 4)

 

[TriptychR]

Being single can certainly be seen as a time of action and refinement; learning how to love and serve God better before having the responsibilities of a spouse and family. That might not be the same for everyone, but that's what I've been coming to accept at my age.

I think the better question is why aren't churches as prone to helping singles do the best with their situation than they are trying to weedle them into marrying off?

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

Exactly Triptych! I have wondered that myself. Most of your singles ministries in churches are more like cleverly disguised dating services. They don't encourage and foster meaningful friendships and chaste courtship with a purpose. They don't prepare you for marriage and teach you how to not squander your season of singleness with wild hopes and fantasies of meeting "the one". They focus on remaining sexually pure even though they really only emphasize making sure you don't have full-blown intercourse which leaves alot of leeway for temptation to rob you of your purity. The church I am going to start attending again doesn't even have a singles group. :-(

 

[mina]

I don't think God has a big ole broad/general plan for everysingle person in the world that we all must conform to and collectively acheive as a singles group. I think God deals with individuals weither they are single or married. I think God's plan for everyone (no matter their mariatal status) is to seek Him with their whole heart and follow soley after Him. Churches don't know how to deal with singles because they don't fit the human Christian interpretation of a happy little nuclear family. It's a shame to the church and it hurts the universal church more than helps it , I think.

 

[PinkLoveBall]

I've never heard anything about single people at any church I've attended. All they refer to is married people and what their problems are probably like and what the solution to them are. Nothing ever about encouraging us to maintain a positive attitude while we wait for God to send us a loving partner.

I've been single um....... wow, I lost count. Frankly, I feel that at age 21, I should've been through several boyfriends by now, but I can't account for not ONE relationship in which I've had an official, steady boyfriend. I can only name a few relationships - if you can even call them that - but none have made me feel special or the way that I deserve to feel. So I gave the whole relationship thing up a long time ago, although my heart would still ache to have someone to REALLY love me from time to time.

Now that urge is back again and hitting me harder than ever. Am I on topic?

KeilCoppes, that line you said about hair is funny. I was laughing

 

[ChrisB803]

It's funny that James Chapter One was mentioned, because we're doing a study on that in our Bible study group.

On topic, however, I think that God wants us to learn how to have a great relationship with Him first, and in doing that we'll learn to recognize others who have the same type of relationship. I see it as kind of a screen to keep you from falling for the wrong type of people.

As long as you're waiting for someone who shares your views on purity, morality, and integrity, it's going to take a while to find them. I think I've met two girls who really fit that image in my 25 years. One is now married, and the other is still a slight possibility.

The balance, I think, is always in wondering what is God's job and where you come in, right? You want to know how active you should be in searching, and when you should simply sit back and wait on God. I personally just take it a day at a time, try not to worry about those things, and when someone comes along I think might fit to frame I take the initiative to learn more about them. One of these days the pieces will fit, and things will just fall into place.

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you."

 

[Colof Ards]

As ChrisB8 said "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." Just watch what God will do in your life and those around you if you do that. Just make the most of every situation. God has a plan, and it is His BEST for us. For some that comes with a partner and maybe kids, for others it does not, for others its just not yet (cause your not ready or youve things to do first that wont be possible if you had a partner). But it is still His BEST for us.

We dont have a singles group as such but the church has cells split into mens & womens (youth is also split). You go to the cell that suits you best. In my cell age rang is 21 to 50's. 4 married blokes & 2 single blokes. The focus is on building you up and winning those around. so therefore there is no difference between single and married. Each is given the same supported and help out where you can. Being married or having kids is not seen as an excuse for not doing stuff. Everyone helps out. The cells help bring the best out of people and helps people to achive their purpose in life.

 

[StaySalty]

I've always wondered if singles are "more holy" people than married people. Christ remained single, as did Paul and John the Baptist. I also base this thinking on the 1 Corinthians 7.

1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.
(1 Corinthians 7:1)


38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better
(1 Corinthians 7:38)


Also, Christ says

For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage [ 19:12 Or have made themselves eunuchs] because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
(Matthew 19:12)

And it is written

3 Let no foreigner who has bound himself to the LORD say,
"The LORD will surely exclude me from his people."
And let not any eunuch complain,
"I am only a dry tree."

4 For this is what the LORD says:

"To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
who choose what pleases me
and hold fast to my covenant-
5 to them I will give within my temple and its walls
a memorial and a name
better than sons and daughters;
I will give them an everlasting name
that will not be cut off.
(Isaiah 56:3-5)


So, I wonder if God has made some people purposely for marriage, and others purposely for some divine purpose?

If singles really are holier than married people, it's ironic that the church would treat them as lowly. The pastor of my old church went as far as to say you have a problem if you are single, that it means you are selfish and self-centered, and God is trying to take that out of you so you can live and share with someone else.

 

[StaySalty]

Because if it is true that God has divinely appointed singles for some holy purpose, wouldn't we be fighting His will and acting worldly to pursue a spouse?

 

[KeilCoppes]

It's a nice thought to think - "I'm single, so I must be more holy", but it's really the only the opposite of "I'm married so I must be more blessed". Pride hits both perspectives and drags us around in both.

Being single gives opportunities and brings challenges. And marriage?
Being married gives opportunities and brings challenges.

In all cases and stages of life the opportunities need to used for God's service, and the challenges met with God's help. You're not more holy being single - you're more profitable when you walk with God. You might consider that Peter and the other apostles were married (1 Cor 9:5).

 

[Sar117]

i realize that this is a big issue for a lot of people. It used to be for me, but i found the answer. God created us with a free will, able to make our own decisions and if wrong live with the consequences. (i cant spell) anyways I beleieve that there is no predetermined mate for you. That would infringe on Free will. Instead i beleive that choices we make in life lead us to who we will be with. There are to may variables in life to be able to have a predestined mate without haveing to tweak our lifes so we end up with that person. I think Marriage is one of the things that God leaves up to us. It is our responsibility to choose someone that will not hinder our walk, or our purpose. I beleive that if you have a desire to get married and have a family then do it. Find that person and do it. We are all intended to be married. Otherwise God would not have instilled the desire to be married is us. I know people that are in there 40's and single. The act like they dont care cause it allows them to focus more on God but if you watch them they are miserable. Just look at anyother animal God created. All of nature Mates. Everyanimal by instinct finds a mate. Now some are not Monogmous. BUt its obvious to me that God intends us to be Married. Dont let those 30 something or 40 somthing single people tell you that they are happy with it cause they are not. u can see it in there eyes when they see a couple walk into the room, or when they attend a wedding. It is against our very nature to be single.

Proverbs 18.22 he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19.14 Houses and riches are an inheritence from fathers, but a Prudent wife is form the Lord.

 

[lilray]

i didn't really read all the responses here (there's my disclaimer if i repeat something someone else already said). anyway, i was just talking to my friend about this the other day and our conclusion was that.. it's kinda the single persons role to take up the slack in ministries and missions. since we don't have the demands and attachments of family, we have more time and flexibility to do mission work and to get more involved in ministries at the church. to me, singles are a vital part of the church body. i'm stoked i get to go to any church event i want without having to check in with anyone else or find a babysitter or whatever. besides, being involved in ministry is such a blessing!!! if i had a family i'd miss out on it.

 

[JPPT1974]

I've never heard anything about single people at any church I've attended. All they refer to is married people and what their problems are probably like and what the solution to them are. Nothing ever about encouraging us to maintain a positive attitude while we wait for God to send us a loving partner.

Yeah that is true is all they refer to is married people. And wished that they referred to single people like ourselves. But also maintaining a positive attitude that if God wants us to fall in love and perhaps be married, that is his will and way if we will surrender to that!

I've been single um....... wow, I lost count. Frankly, I feel that at age 21, I should've been through several boyfriends by now, but I can't account for not ONE relationship in which I've had an official, steady boyfriend. I can only name a few relationships - if you can even call them that - but none have made me feel special or the way that I deserve to feel. So I gave the whole relationship thing up a long time ago, although my heart would still ache to have someone to REALLY love me from time to time.

Hey I am thirty so kid, don't feel bad at all. You are young and really are in your prime. So please, I have been single, with the exception of going on one blind date in my thirty years on the earth and counting. I never had even ONE relationship which was steady and also long-term if you want to call it that.

Now that urge is back again and hitting me harder than ever. Am I on topic?

Follow your heart and your soul is all I can tell you. With of course, help from the almighty God because God can and will help you, if it is in his will, to find you the right boyfriend or girlfriend. If God doesn't want me to marry or have a long term relationship, then that is fine by me. And I can and will live with that.

KeilCoppes, that line you said about hair is funny. I was laughing

Married or single both as someone else just mentions bring blessings and opportunities. For those, it is staying together through thick and thin. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until you part in death. And most of all, be together in the Lord Jesus Christ's name in heaven.