What advice can you give to someone who has been working hard on a 21 year marriage only to find out that the spouse has never been on the same page even though a "Christian" and how should I act now that we have had to separated due to homelessness?
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GODLY advice needed Badly
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Anti Existance
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I encourage you to seek help in an earlier stage, although i won't blame you, as for a lot of problems are personal and private but i hope and stimulate that people seek out to find help for their life problems ,in terms of seeking professional help or help on the forums.
The thing is , not everyone is at the same frequency, its like a radio, some like this, others listen to that, in terms of life stages and perspectives people can be on a different spiritual level in the way they think. Christian is a name that loses its value for those who do not live by it, many just wear it as a mask or merely because they have been forcefully baptized when they where children, think about it, if people weren't baptized by birth then the amount of people who would be a christian would be much lower, so its not strange that so many people cannot identify nor live by these commandments. '
Look its like this, if you did your best on your marriage what is there left? You fought for your marriage and went down with the ship, and basically your now swimming for survival.
Hence the fact that you got to swim ashore ,and find stability in your life. Build a new fundament and logical structure for your life in terms of , work-housing-family-finances.
Easier said then done of course http://bmdavidson.tripod.com/ a bunch of tips, make active and decisive decisions on getting your life back on track, the experience of people who've been there can help you.
The thing is , not everyone is at the same frequency, its like a radio, some like this, others listen to that, in terms of life stages and perspectives people can be on a different spiritual level in the way they think. Christian is a name that loses its value for those who do not live by it, many just wear it as a mask or merely because they have been forcefully baptized when they where children, think about it, if people weren't baptized by birth then the amount of people who would be a christian would be much lower, so its not strange that so many people cannot identify nor live by these commandments. '
Look its like this, if you did your best on your marriage what is there left? You fought for your marriage and went down with the ship, and basically your now swimming for survival.
Hence the fact that you got to swim ashore ,and find stability in your life. Build a new fundament and logical structure for your life in terms of , work-housing-family-finances.
Easier said then done of course http://bmdavidson.tripod.com/ a bunch of tips, make active and decisive decisions on getting your life back on track, the experience of people who've been there can help you.
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Seeking God's will is an excellent choice. I have to admit I'm no expert on fasting, so I don't know if work will interfere. You might want to check out some of the other forums, or just search the board for topics.
Isaiah 58
1Cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice like a trumpet, and shew my people their transgression, and the house of Jacob their sins.
2Yet they seek me daily, and delight to know my ways, as a nation that did righteousness, and forsook not the ordinance of their God: they ask of me the ordinances of justice; they take delight in approaching to God.
3Wherefore have we fasted, say they, and thou seest not? wherefore have we afflicted our soul, and thou takest no knowledge? Behold, in the day of your fast ye find pleasure, and exact all your labours.
4Behold, ye fast for strife and debate, and to smite with the fist of wickedness: ye shall not fast as ye do this day, to make your voice to be heard on high.
5Is it such a fast that I have chosen? a day for a man to afflict his soul? is it to bow down his head as a bulrush, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? wilt thou call this a fast, and an acceptable day to the LORD?
6Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?
7Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?
8Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy reward.
9Then shalt thou call, and the LORD shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity;
10And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noon day:
11And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.
12And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.
13If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the LORD, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:
14Then shalt thou delight thyself in the LORD; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it.
Maybe that chapter will provide some guidance.
Isaiah 58
1Cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice like a trumpet, and shew my people their transgression, and the house of Jacob their sins.
2Yet they seek me daily, and delight to know my ways, as a nation that did righteousness, and forsook not the ordinance of their God: they ask of me the ordinances of justice; they take delight in approaching to God.
3Wherefore have we fasted, say they, and thou seest not? wherefore have we afflicted our soul, and thou takest no knowledge? Behold, in the day of your fast ye find pleasure, and exact all your labours.
4Behold, ye fast for strife and debate, and to smite with the fist of wickedness: ye shall not fast as ye do this day, to make your voice to be heard on high.
5Is it such a fast that I have chosen? a day for a man to afflict his soul? is it to bow down his head as a bulrush, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? wilt thou call this a fast, and an acceptable day to the LORD?
6Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?
7Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?
8Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy reward.
9Then shalt thou call, and the LORD shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity;
10And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noon day:
11And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.
12And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.
13If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the LORD, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:
14Then shalt thou delight thyself in the LORD; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it.
Maybe that chapter will provide some guidance.
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be happy with what you have at the moment, its just a test or trial, it was ment to happen, nothing happens by chance like bad luck, theres a reson and god has this ment for you, god loves you both.trust him.perhalps some day it will make sence.
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You certainly haven't given much to go on in the way of specifics, but my advice to any concerned wife;
Understand the true principles that Jesus taught. Let your water be as wine. Take joy and create delight in doing the simple needs of living; things like cleaning, washing, bathing, going to work (these days), and everything else that is truly required of you all with a smile and a surrender to the harmony of union. Worry nothing of what shall come beyond what you can clearly see. Have faith, for you cannot go unseen. But if you worry, then you will bring shadows, darkness, and deception into your life. You will succumb to belief in exaggerations and false perceptions. Cling to the persistence and insistence of surrendering to what will be with joy in heart at all times. Know that you gave to the world a little more love than it would have had without you.
As a wife, you have made a covenant with a man to belong to him in every way. Honor your covenant and let it be sacred in not even considering challenging it or letting it become a lower priority. Restore yourself in surrender to the pure love deepest in your heart without judgment, but an honest willingness to endure and forgive all things.
If you see your husband as un-Godly in his behavior, then do as all women do, persuade from within. A wife cannot help her lost husband from a distance. As estranged, she is of no help at all and lives in betrayal of love. Be his even if he isn't as he should be in your eyes. Focus on the good that drew you to him and let any bad you perceive go. A man cannot correct himself if others are always trying to insist on what is right and what isn't.
Stop trying to live for yourself, let him live for you. When you try to defend yourself, you prevent the inspiration for him to defend you and feel his reasons why he should. If his heart is asleep, then sleep with his heart and let God wake him up and let him wake you up. Betray love, and you betray yourself all mankind.
Without more detail, that's about all I can say.
God blesses those who bless man. Be a blessing to at least one of the many especially when they are in true need.
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Amin
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If you're seperated because of homelessness, try to find work and start repairing the things that need mended. Ask for Gods' help. But you have to get the homeless thing taken care of. If you make efforts to make right the situation, she might see you doing what is right and think differently.
I don't think anyone wants to be without a place to stay.
Try and see where things went wrong and use them as a guide in getting things back to normal
Don't forget God in the process.
Chuck.
I don't think anyone wants to be without a place to stay.
Try and see where things went wrong and use them as a guide in getting things back to normal
Don't forget God in the process.
Chuck.
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UnitynLove
Guest
Great post!You certainly haven't given much to go on in the way of specifics, but my advice to any concerned wife;
Understand the true principles that Jesus taught. Let your water be as wine. Take joy and create delight in doing the simple needs of living; things like cleaning, washing, bathing, going to work (these days), and everything else that is truly required of you all with a smile and a surrender to the harmony of union. Worry nothing of what shall come beyond what you can clearly see. Have faith, for you cannot go unseen. But if you worry, then you will bring shadows, darkness, and deception into your life. You will succumb to belief in exaggerations and false perceptions. Cling to the persistence and insistence of surrendering to what will be with joy in heart at all times. Know that you gave to the world a little more love than it would have had without you.
As a wife, you have made a covenant with a man to belong to him in every way. Honor your covenant and let it be sacred in not even considering challenging it or letting it become a lower priority. Restore yourself in surrender to the pure love deepest in your heart without judgment, but an honest willingness to endure and forgive all things.
If you see your husband as un-Godly in his behavior, then do as all women do, persuade from within. A wife cannot help her lost husband from a distance. As estranged, she is of no help at all and lives in betrayal of love. Be his even if he isn't as he should be in your eyes. Focus on the good that drew you to him and let any bad you perceive go. A man cannot correct himself if others are always trying to insist on what is right and what isn't.
Stop trying to live for yourself, let him live for you. When you try to defend yourself, you prevent the inspiration for him to defend you and feel his reasons why he should. If his heart is asleep, then sleep with his heart and let God wake him up and let him wake you up. Betray love, and you betray yourself all mankind.
Without more detail, that's about all I can say.
God blesses those who bless man. Be a blessing to at least one of the many especially when they are in true need.
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I am praying for you that things will turn around for you. I am sorry that you are struggling so.
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I
iannassah
Guest
Hey There! 
The one thing that really caught my attention about your question is that you said something about you and your spouse not being on the same page....could you be more detailed? The only advise that i can give is----well, i don't think that whatever advise i would give would be fair...only judgemental.
My husband and i have been homeless 3 times and i feel like The Lord used that to bring us closer to Him and to each other.... Honestly, i feel blessed to have been homeless, i really started to see what is really important.
A friend gave me a blessing of a bookmark and i would like to share it with you...."There is nothing -- no circumstance, no trouble, no testing -- that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose, which i may not understand at the moment; but, as i refuse to become panicky, as i lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for i shall rest in the joy of what my LORD is... that is , the rest of the victory."
~Alan Redpath~
pg 166 "Victorious Christian Living"
"What God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19:6-9
And you know that our adversary and accuser wants to destroy God's people and those things that HE loves!!! The bad guy has taken your eyes off of Jesus and put them on a situation that HE (Jesus) is in control of...only HE can stop the wind and waves filling you with the peace that HE alone can give!!! "Be strong and courageous!
Do not tremble or be dismayed, for The LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
The one thing that really caught my attention about your question is that you said something about you and your spouse not being on the same page....could you be more detailed? The only advise that i can give is----well, i don't think that whatever advise i would give would be fair...only judgemental.
My husband and i have been homeless 3 times and i feel like The Lord used that to bring us closer to Him and to each other.... Honestly, i feel blessed to have been homeless, i really started to see what is really important.
A friend gave me a blessing of a bookmark and i would like to share it with you...."There is nothing -- no circumstance, no trouble, no testing -- that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose, which i may not understand at the moment; but, as i refuse to become panicky, as i lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for i shall rest in the joy of what my LORD is... that is , the rest of the victory."
~Alan Redpath~
pg 166 "Victorious Christian Living"
"What God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19:6-9
And you know that our adversary and accuser wants to destroy God's people and those things that HE loves!!! The bad guy has taken your eyes off of Jesus and put them on a situation that HE (Jesus) is in control of...only HE can stop the wind and waves filling you with the peace that HE alone can give!!! "Be strong and courageous!
Do not tremble or be dismayed, for The LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
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