God said: "It's not good for man to be alone".

[Picky Pilot]

I think if she forgot about you it must be a somewhat similar feeling as if she had died. I think it is honorable of you to still take care of your wife, and I think it would be better if you continued doing so. I would find it very unethical if you abandoned her completely. But as you said you don't need to deal with the loneliness alone. I do not think there is anything wrong with it. Especially since your wife is not against it. If she was against it, however, things might be a little different...

Thanks, Michael. If you read my latest facebook post, you'll know that Ann and I have had a wonderful life together and the communication we've always shared has come into full play.
I would have never considered this under any other circumstances. After she suggested that we find someone, I waited three years to finally do something about it.

Bruce

 

[Picky Pilot]

If they can no longer take care of your physical needs, seems like a form of abandonment?

This issue reminds me of when I was a single man. Sex is important to many and actually helps to keep certain mens body organs healthy.

Rough one for a believer.
People of the world -- no problem
so they think anyway.

Nowadays I would share this problem with my Pastor. They are held to a much higher accountability.

M-Bob

As I mentioned, our pastor said, "Sometimes we preachers have to think outside the pulpit".
He's being criticized for being 'Too liberal' but he's a great guy, loved by our congregation and doesn't condemn.

 

[Picky Pilot]

You're the one who appeared here and started this thread, apparently hoping others would condone your self-confessed adultery. Some did. To me, what you are doing is not a "mote."

How do you know what "wicked hearts" others may have, or what "planks" may be in their eyes? You have quite clearly described an abandonment of your marriage vows and your self-justification for it. You have sought opinions, and you have received them; you are angered by those who disagree with you, this and nothing more. If someone walks up to me and says "I'm committing adultery, but I think it's godly under these circumstances" - well, it would take an awfully large "plank" to keep me from seeing that "mote" for what it is.


And then that "been faithful" part went out the window - right?

Long after most men and women would have put their spouse in a memory care unit, I've kept my promise and enjoy every moment with her. What part of being faithful don't you understand? Being faithful is not dumping a loved one at a rest home and going about their own business. That's what usually happens and no one says anything about it. At least I have the courage to talk about it.
As for being angered, heck yes! I'm also sad for those who become ill and die trying to care for a sick spouse no matter what the disease.
I'm angered by people who don't understand the complexities of trying to cope with a long term 100% fatal illness who toss out judgment like "float candy" in a parade.

 

[holo]

I wouldn't be surprised at all if some of the posters here would feel perfectly justified in dropping their Alzheimer-stricken spouse in a nursing home when it got too tiresome and then go home and stay celibate until the spouse dies, thinking that what's "honouring the vows" means.

In any case, this thread is a great reminder to have an important conversation with your spouse or partner: what do we do if one of us gets this ill? Personally, I and my wife have agree that the other would be completely free to find a new partner if we want. We haven't asked this of each other, we both offer it to the other because we want each other to be happy. To us, it's an expression of love. I want her to be happy and if I become irreversibly unable to give her what she needs from a husband, she's free.

 

[mkdrive2]

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