Go on then...an Athiest, formerly a Christian. Questions please.

[Valo]

I lost my faith a long time ago now it would seem. I'm open for questioning if anybody wants to ask.

 

[bgoddenia]

Hi Valo, I'm Betsy I want to ask if you don't mind, What happen why have you lost your faith

 

[JPPT1974]

Welcome to the fourms my friend
Feel free to post
Don't be shy at all!!

 

[Valo]

Bible Study group was off for the holidays but I still went to Church. I read the Bible independantely but the God I was told about didn't match up to every part in the Bible. When I was being taught it, it was taken out of context, and I couldn't see it as a reliable source. I got sickened by the prejudice of those Christians around me. I had always been open minded and I didn't like to judge, but through the years Christianity had taught these people to close off their minds 'become so close to God' that they would ridicule, even harrass people that ever strayed trying to 'save them'. And if that was what would become of me I wanted no part of it. I see it time and time again. I used to punish myself, I knew I was falling away from God, I tortured myself about it because I knew I was sinning and I prayed for these thoughts, that the followers of God were sinning, for these views to stop. I prayed and cried, and cut myself at one point, trying to punish myself and discipline myself to follow the Lord's way. And then whilst tuning into the television I heard a certain song. And it changed my life. 'Fight Song' by Marilyn Manson. 'I'm not a slave to a God that doesn't exist. i'm not a slave to a world that doesn't give a s***'. It made sense to me more than the Bible did. Understand I really hated Marilyn's behaviour before hand. But I heard this song, this man that didn't follow God, and it made sense. I researched more into athiest ways of life, and completely rebelled, going back to my Christian school in dark goth attire and I pitied the people with their narrow minded views on life. And I dressed like that because they'd know I was different and people became scared of me for being different, for just existing. And it proved my theory; that these people were not virtuous and following some divine path, because they were disgusting people, prejudiced and cruel and judgemental and their further actions towards me proved it. Thats why I lost my faith, because time and time again, I saw that it was a shared delusion to created hope for those who wanted it, to create a reaosn to judge others, and to make others feel better than somebody else.

 

[NilSineChristi]

My friend, I thoroughly share you're frustration with those who persistantly judge despite Christ's clear command not to judge in Matthew 7:1-5. The actions of others at your school prove once again that "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man" (Psalm 118:8). I would advise you to not yet give up on the Lord. Keep reading the Bible. You will find that if no one you know can accurately show the example of Christ that the Word of God can. (Although I pray that you may find someone who can show you the the Truth as I did in my times of greatest doubt)


Of the others at your school you said "if that was what would become of me I wanted no part of it."

But my friend, if you were truly to come very close to Christ that is precisely what would not become of you because you would understand the importance of what he said in Matthew 7:1-5.

You also said " cut myself at one point, trying to punish myself"

You needn't have punished yourself though, for God is infinite in his mercy and able to forgive any sin and make you heavenly. (Eph. 2:4-8).


All this comes from someone who himself from time to time has had serious doubts about the nature of God and his creations. I do not pretend to know all the answers, I am merely speaking as a Christian who wishes to give you nothing more than the best advice he can. It is my sincerest hope that these are, if nothing else, useful words for you.

God bless, and peace be with you my friend.

 

[Valo]

Spare me, Christianity has caused too many wars and too much hurt for it to be any good.

 

[NilSineChristi]

I am very sorry that we have caused you to feel hurt Valo.

 

[JPPT1974]

Happy Memorial Day my friend!

 

[Valentine]

I am very sorry that we have caused you to feel hurt Valo.

I will be praying that you will feel the comfort and grace that only God can give.

 

[JPPT1974]

May the Lord bless you my friend!

 

[bgoddenia]

Bible Study group was off for the holidays but I still went to Church. I read the Bible independantely but the God I was told about didn't match up to every part in the Bible. When I was being taught it, it was taken out of context, and I couldn't see it as a reliable source. I got sickened by the prejudice of those Christians around me. I had always been open minded and I didn't like to judge, but through the years Christianity had taught these people to close off their minds 'become so close to God' that they would ridicule, even harrass people that ever strayed trying to 'save them'. And if that was what would become of me I wanted no part of it. I see it time and time again. I used to punish myself, I knew I was falling away from God, I tortured myself about it because I knew I was sinning and I prayed for these thoughts, that the followers of God were sinning, for these views to stop. I prayed and cried, and cut myself at one point, trying to punish myself and discipline myself to follow the Lord's way. And then whilst tuning into the television I heard a certain song. And it changed my life. 'Fight Song' by Marilyn Manson. 'I'm not a slave to a God that doesn't exist. i'm not a slave to a world that doesn't give a s***'. It made sense to me more than the Bible did. Understand I really hated Marilyn's behaviour before hand. But I heard this song, this man that didn't follow God, and it made sense. I researched more into athiest ways of life, and completely rebelled, going back to my Christian school in dark goth attire and I pitied the people with their narrow minded views on life. And I dressed like that because they'd know I was different and people became scared of me for being different, for just existing. And it proved my theory; that these people were not virtuous and following some divine path, because they were disgusting people, prejudiced and cruel and judgemental and their further actions towards me proved it. Thats why I lost my faith, because time and time again, I saw that it was a shared delusion to created hope for those who wanted it, to create a reaosn to judge others, and to make others feel better than somebody else.

Hi valo and blessings, sweetheart I'm so sorry your so resentful and rebellious,I understand exactly what you experieced, but you can't really blame what you went through on God or people or better yet on Christian.
If the Church you was attending wasn't in line with the word of God It's not God fault or others. You was so pose to leave and find the Church that preach according to the scribture, that teaches the truth of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.
The Bible says Isaiah 7:9 If you do not stand firm in your faith you will not stand at all.
see the moment you through your faith away in return the enemy gave you resentment and rebellion against God the one person that really do Love you. He's faithful to you, you know how he must have cried when you gave him your back, Valo He still Loves you and he want to renew you strength/faith again, only if you want to. He don't make no one do something they don't want, the decision has to come from you your heart..

On Matthew 7:6 Say Do not give dogs what is sacret, (faith, love, hope, dreams, belief, exe)
Do not throw your pearls (again, faith, love, hope, dreams, belief, exe) to pigs if you do they may trample them under their feet and then turn and tear you to pieces..
This is what you did, you was so pose to defend/hide these beautiful gift God has given you.
We should never allow the enemy take the most precious gift that God gave us to get by in life. You got to recognize that the enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy.
But God came to Love Save and give Eternal Life!!
Valo you must try to get back in track with the Lord you said that you was open minded well
maybe that why the Lord wanted to open your eye so that you could see how the enemy uses a person/people the enemy uses anyone who allows themselves to be use, You gonna always find something in any church thats because the enemy always finds a weak one or two that he can take advantage and use. But our duty is to "look straight ahead fix our gaze directly before us make level path for our feet and take only the ways that are firm"..
Always waiting patiently on the Lord to reveal himself to you, so you may understand what you going through..

When we are in the path of God we must not look at how others are walking/living before God because every individual is different, God deal with everyone at a different paste.
that's why it is said in Isaiah 22:2 Stop trusting in man who has but a breath in his nostrils of what account is he? In other word when we tend to look at man weather in trusting or how they live as a christian we fall because our eyes are focus on them, we see that what they doing not right and yea that true but what is it to us. We are the one who should try to better ourselves more and more everyday.
Come back to his precious arm Valo that he is a merciful God he Loves you so much girl he await for you with open arms. Open your heart just alittle talk to him when you lay down open your heart and he will take out all that negative the enemy inplanted and he will inplant the seed of Love and faith give him a chance that all he's asking for!!
From Jesus to Valo Joel 2:12 return to me with all your heart with fasting and weeping and mourning..

Matthew 22:37,38 Love your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind this is the first and greatest commandment..


Bless You and Love you!!
Betsy

 

[Valo]

I almost forget how kind some Christians are. I know there are different churches. And I knew there were other ones that would have accepted me when I was there. But in this faith there always seemed so much hate and anger. And to whichever church I turn to there will be different teachings on the same parts in the Bible which conflict. No one way of living is clear and I can't believe in God anymore. I was happier then, but that was the circumstances I was in. I looked back over my diary and I was naive. I was happy, but I was ignorant. Within the Church my way of life is wrong, the way I think is wrong, and to accept faith would be to try and change this person I've become but supposedly God loves me for who I am. I've been in that little Christian fold before and found it so closed minded it was sickening. I can't accept it again because I know that I'll lose myself. You'd probably see that as a good thing, submitting myself to God. But it wasn't God, it was the wills of other people. And I can't even chance that again. And I know I'd always sin again. And thats my problem.

 

[bgoddenia]

I almost forget how kind some Christians are. I know there are different churches. And I knew there were other ones that would have accepted me when I was there. But in this faith there always seemed so much hate and anger. And to whichever church I turn to there will be different teachings on the same parts in the Bible which conflict. No one way of living is clear and I can't believe in God anymore. I was happier then, but that was the circumstances I was in. I looked back over my diary and I was naive. I was happy, but I was ignorant. Within the Church my way of life is wrong, the way I think is wrong, and to accept faith would be to try and change this person I've become but supposedly God loves me for who I am. I've been in that little Christian fold before and found it so closed minded it was sickening. I can't accept it again because I know that I'll lose myself. You'd probably see that as a good thing, submitting myself to God. But it wasn't God, it was the wills of other people. And I can't even chance that again. And I know I'd always sin again. And thats my problem.

Hi sweetheart and may the good Lord bless you with knowledge and understanding, You see valo your problem is that you bring others to the relationship you and God has, and its so pose to be you and him, not you him and other. Look at it this way would you bring others into your relationship with your husband? the answer would be no.. Thats how God is it you and him noone else forget about others. you say that you know you will alway sin, well a person sins if they want to.
If theres no gratitude/appreciation in ones heart..
When a person don't care it's because they don't have no appreciation not even of the breath that God has allow them to brieve this morning. The scribture says come as you are, meaning find you sinning let God do the work he has to do in you or something for you that will convict your heart in not wanting to go there (Sin)
no more..

If a person knows that committing something is a sin, well it's their desicion to committ it or not. When we sin we pay the consequence and we pay with our childrens the curse falls on them.
Numbers 14:18 The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in Love and forgiving sin and rebellion, Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the CHILDREN
for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation..
Look I want to leave this with you.

Seek Me

Come unto Me, all you who labor and strive and toil and try to "fix" things yourself that you have no authority to fix. You who attempt to deal in areas and open doors that no man or woman can, or should, open. Come to Me...Ask Me...Appropriate from Me. I, alone, am able to bind up and repair and restore. I am God. I can work in the unseen realm and re-do the things which need to be done.

Do not seek healing...SEEK ME, the Healer.

Do not seek the solution...SEEK ME, the Answer.

Do not seek a substitute or even a part of who I am...SEEK ME in My fullness.

I open My arms and say to you...Come unto Me. Run unto Me. Surrender to Me. Depend upon Me. Look to Me. Look away from all (both bad and good) that would distract, unto ME - JESUS, Your Savior, Lord, Master.

Submit yourself, therefore to Me, and wait upon My timetable concerning the things in your life. Wait upon Me. Stand still, steady, confident, but expectant, in the place where you are until I come with My provision and the way of escape. Wait in anticipation and expectation, in preparation and readiness before Me, and I shall repair, restore, revive, and redeem in the broken things that concern your life. I, alone, can.

Speak ONLY what you hear Me speak...Do ONLY what you see Me do. Wait patiently upon the outcome. My words shall bring life. My ways shall open doors and allow life and light to dispel the darkness that is tormenting you. The brightness of My appearing in a heart, a life, a situation... changes all things.

To those who seek ME...I will come...bringing My reward with Me, for I am the rewarder of those who diligently seek Me. (Hebrews 11:6) When I come, and am received, I bring all that I am with Me. In submission and surrender to Me, you receive all that I am...which is all that you need.

I bring healing for your body, joy and peace for your emotions, might and strength for your body and mind. Direction for your life. Anointing for your work. Knowledge, wisdom, and understanding for your mind and soul.

All that I am belongs to those who will seek , receive, and submit to Me, waiting in readiness to obey, in commitment to follow through with Me. This is an hour in this earth when ONLY THOSE who choose to do so and follow through will be inside the "ark of safety".

Many shall say in that hour, "Lord, Lord, we did this in Your Name and that in Your Name", but I shall say to them, "Depart from Me, you wicked ones, for I never knew you. I was never INTIMATE with you - was never allowed personally to come up close in the secret recesses of your heart, mind, and feelings, to come in and feed you, and fill you. You did not SEEK ME in that way, rather you sought the things I could do FOR you and THROUGH you. But you never sought and wanted...just ME!"

Those who seek what I can do for them and do not seek ME intimately will be those who will cry out and gnash with their teeth in judgement, for they did not SEEK ME while I could be found.

Draw near to ME, and I will draw near unto you. Come unto ME, and I will give you rest. There is a communication - a communion unlike any other...for those who simply SEEK ME!
____________________________


~from the listening heart of Betsy Hernandez~
_____________________________________________________________

"Jesus Christ is the same...yesterday, today, and forever!" Hebrews 13:8

 

[whitestar]

I almost forget how kind some Christians are. I know there are different churches. And I knew there were other ones that would have accepted me when I was there. But in this faith there always seemed so much hate and anger. And to whichever church I turn to there will be different teachings on the same parts in the Bible which conflict. No one way of living is clear and I can't believe in God anymore. I was happier then, but that was the circumstances I was in. I looked back over my diary and I was naive. I was happy, but I was ignorant. Within the Church my way of life is wrong, the way I think is wrong, and to accept faith would be to try and change this person I've become but supposedly God loves me for who I am. I've been in that little Christian fold before and found it so closed minded it was sickening. I can't accept it again because I know that I'll lose myself. You'd probably see that as a good thing, submitting myself to God. But it wasn't God, it was the wills of other people. And I can't even chance that again. And I know I'd always sin again. And thats my problem.

But isn't that what Marilyn Manson is about? About judging, mocking and hating? What I see are athesit being hateful by attacking us and telling us we should torlant everyone else and what they do, while they don't torlant our belief! They mock our Lord, curse Him, say the most vile things...yet we are supposely hateful?

Jesus gave us a commandment to love each other as He has loved us! And He died for us. How is that hateful? Or being intorlant to give your life for someone esle?

Sure their are Christians that pick and choose what they want out of the bible to hurt others...but this goes totally against the teachings of Jesus.

No one can sin too much by the way...there is not one thing in the bible about that. God isn't counting your every sin and saying...'opps they just sinned for the one millionth time...that's it! No chance of coming back to me now." That is no where in the bible....

In fact the bible tells us Jesus rejoices when a lost sheep comes home.

How is that hateful?

God bless
WhiteStar

 

[JPPT1974]

Have a great weekend
God bless you!

 

[Valo]

I'm at a bad time right now, but I'm afraid that even being this vulnerable I couldn't accept the existence of God. If there is a God, he is not the Christian version for that God is contradicting and flawed. If there is a God no book written by man would be able to describe him. It's illogical.

 

[bgoddenia]

Bless you,God is not a contradiicting person the problem is that we misinterpretate the scribture it's not his fault that we are not willing to summit so that he can prepare us to understand his word. He say it in his word call on me and I will answer and tell you of great and unsearchable thing you do not know.. How can he tell us anything if we are carnal the flesh doesn't understand nor accept the things of the spirit so it would be a waste to try to make us understand so he leave us to our naive our stupitidy. I think if I was him I would do the same thing cause it would be a waste of my precious time to try to teach a stiff neck people that not willing to seek, but wants everything put in their hands. We don't want to summit so we got the life and understanding of a naive person until we deside to respect him, urge to know him, learn his ways not man or/and learn of what we see as contradicting..
Be Bless!!

 

[JPPT1974]

You know some Christians can be nice
If you give them a try my friend!

 

[Samuel_Rigby]

Valo. . .you are loved by God even though his followers have not treated you well.

I am so sorry you've had such bad experiences with Christians. But please don't blame God for the actions of others. We make a lot of mistakes, and many times are not good witnesses for God. But God still loves us despite our shortcomings.

My faith has more to do with serving others. I am happiest when I am serving food at homeless shelters or helping my dad repair homes of those who cannot afford it. I like putting my faith into action. Serving other people and helping those who are hurting. I read a quote one time that I thought was really good. I'm not sure who said it, but they said "I would rather set up a mission 10 feet from the gates of hell, than pastor a church in heaven." To me, this sums up the gospel message.

We Christians can be arrogant, judgemental and condescending at times. And while it is important for us to fellowship together and study scripture together, that should not be our primary objective. My faith is about 1. Loving God, and 2. Loving others.

I hope this helps. I will pray for you.

May God bless you in new and amazing ways!

 

[Dimitree]

"Build your home on a rock"
Tell me ... Valo ...
At who you will scream for help when the rivers come ?
Who's heand will you search when you fall ?
Will the words in the songs of the unfeithful save you in your screams ?
Or will they come to you and lift you up ?
Or maby all these people that rebell against GOD will come ???
For he who rebells agains GOD he rebells against LIFE LOVE HELP MURSEY and ALL the things that GOD is !
And if you like joining these people so much then please scream at THEM to help you when you fall and scream at THEM to save you when you are in trouble !
For then you will see and know aganst what you have rebelled !

Amen.