Glad they left....

[Sophia7]

I've heard these things too.

In my experience, my SDA friends and family seemed to forget about the many reasons why I would have been motivated to stay. I was well known, loved and appreciated within SDAism. By leaving, I was leaving the safety of lifelong relationships to pursue the unknown. I'm not a hero for leaving, but I'm certainly not a villain either.

I can totally relate to that.

After I left, my SDA mother -- who views me as being a reasonably intelligent person -- decided that she could convince me to return by providing ample information about the doctrines she felt I misunderstood. Gratefully, she gave that up a couple of years ago. It was doing nothing but frustrating both of us. In reality, she was unable to face the possibility that I had seen SDAism from vantage points that she had never experienced. I can totally understand why she was trying so hard and I believe she was motivated by love.

We get that kind of treatment from hubby's grandma. I know that she, too, is motivated by love. Hubby's grandma and grandpa took him and his brother to church every week when they were growing up because their parents didn't go to any church. Grandma feels personally responsible for his spiritual upbringing, and our departure from the Adventist Church has made her feel that she failed.

For certain SDAs, it is inconceivable that a person would leave because they disagree. After all, SDAism has the truth. Any rationale person who understands that truth could not possibly ever decide to leave it. Many of us can easily put ourselves in their shoes because there was a day -- not that long ago -- when we too pitied the person who left SDAism for "doctrinal reasons."

BFA

I can understand that, too, although there have always been some aspects of Adventist doctrine that I questioned or disagreed with myself; I just didn't consider them as major as the IJ or the Sabbath until a few years ago.