Give "Bad" Advice (3)

[Matthew-59]

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[.chrys.]

How do I get people to start using this thread?

 

[lucypevensie]

Send PMs to all Christian Forums users and offer each person $50 to participate.

What can I do to be productive while waiting in the car for my son to get out of school?

 

[.chrys.]

Bring a bucket of soapy water with you and use the time to clean the car. If you have water left over, don't be stingy, clean your neighbor's car too.

I have a couple of mosquito bites on the center of my back and I can't reach them. What can I do?

 

[lucypevensie]

Have a cat or a friend with a cat? Have a friend pick up cat and "hang" on your back. As cat slides down he will give you a nice itch-relieving backscratch.

Tips for a teenager wearing a new uncomfortable orthodontic appliance?

 

[.chrys.]

Have a friend hang a cat on their back...trust me, they'll stop thinking about the orthodontic appliance in no time!

I want to quit my job, but my employer is my neighbor. How do I quit without ticking her off?

 

[lucypevensie]

Do something really bad so that she has no other choice than to fire you. That way she's the bad guy, not you. And you can be mad at her instead of she being mad at you.

I need some affordable artwork to hang on the walls of an office. Got any suggestions?

 

[3enben]

Coloured string and sticky tape. That sounds pretty cheap.
It's time for me to get up and go to work. But I don't want to. Ideas of motivation?

 

[lucypevensie]

Sleeping pills can give you that kick in the pants that you need to get moving.

I feel like I have something stuck in my throat, but can't see it, so I'm not sure what to do next.

 

[dmpeace]

Swallow a mirror to take a peek.
I have to leave soon and don't want to.

 

[lucypevensie]

Go to sleep. You can't leave if you're sleeping.

I need to wash the sheets, but the pets are napping on the bed.

 

[dmpeace]

Tie up the pets in the sheets and throw them in the wash.
Today I have nothing to do.

 

[xTx]

Clean the whole house, including wash all the windows and cars. And, give all the pets a good grooming.

I keep putting off my diet.

 

[Kazza Ah-O]

Make a nice spot on the table. Get a plate of cookies. Eat them while drinking a diet soda of your choice.....all while carefully planning your diet. Oh, btw, the 0 calories of the diet drink will negate the mega-calorie cookies.

It's springtime here. I really should paint my toenails.

 

[dmpeace]

Cut your toes off and put them on the table so you don't have to reach for your toes.
Today I should work out.

 

[lucypevensie]

Put a workout video in your DVD player, then sit back and watch. You will tone your body by osmosis, and you won't get all sweaty.

Share your most valuable sewing tip with me.

 

[dmpeace]

Put what your sewing on the machine and pay no attention to your hands and staple your arm.

Things to look forward to.

 

[lucypevensie]

Look forward to your next headache so that you can enjoy not having one right now.

My dog needs a walk, but it's raining really hard today.

 

[dmpeace]

Walk him anyway and take no umbrella and buy a bag of ice to keep covering yourselves with.

I need a new phone.

 

[Kazza Ah-O]

Be environmentally friendly. Use recycled tin cans with a piece of string.


I need to go clean the bathroom.