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Girl problems :(

ab1385

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I know, I'm hardly alone in this, but this is causing me quite a lot of anguish at the moment, and I would appreciate prayer, so I thought I couldn't really lose by posting this here. No problem too big or too small for God eh? It's a good thing He cares about the silly things in my life as well as the big.

Anyway, there is, of course, a girl whom I like, actually a fairly large amount. I don't know how she feels about me, she may like me in that way, and she may not. The problem is that I can't even discuss it with her, as she is a housemate. I don't think it would be right to date a housemate, regardless of how honest intentions are it's just too much temptation to get up to stuff we shouldn't. Not to mention problems if we ever broke up. And I don't want to see how she would feel about once the contract has run out yet, as I value our friendship too much to make her want to 'back off' a bit.

I pray daily, verging on hourly, for guidance with this, yet God seems silent on this one. I ask others for guidance, and it contradicts, some say talk to her, some say don't, but God is the only one whose opinion I really trust, and He is the only one who won't give me a straight answer as to what I'm supposed to do! Why can't I have a definite vision of what to do, or God speaking audibly to me?

I love my God, and I trust that He knows best for me, so this is what I want prayer for:

-Advice directly from God about what to do in this situation
-Comfort and stregth to accept His decision if this is not meant to be, and to love Him just the same
-An ability to cope with the not knowing, until I do

Also, I have been losing a lot of sleep over this. I just can't think of anything else, I try reading, but novels and the Bible, I try thinking of Jesus and concetrating on Him, but my thoughts always come back to her and thoughts of 'Why won't you let me have her, God?' I find it very hard to let go until I know I have to. If God tells me 'yes', then amazing, and I couldn't be happier. If He says 'no', then at least I can get over it. I'm just not willing to talk to her until God gives me some clue as to the right course of action. So, anyway, fourth prayer point

-Sleep! I'm constantly tired and need an ability to let go and to relax, and just to focus entirely on God.

If anyone is willing to pray for me in this, no matter how simply, please you don't have to type anything or anything like that, just pray the four points I listed! It'll only take 15 seconds, and I do believe in the power of prayer!

Thankyou to anyone who reads this and prays for me!

Alex
 

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If God wants you to do anything,He will let you know.A non-answer means He has no opinion on the matter and He is giving you free will to make your own decision following biblical teachings ,which is after all the purpose of our lives on earth.Unfortunately the Bible warns against engaging in worldly activities which is what dating is all about.Frequently God doesn't answer prayers that are already answered in the Bible.
 
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onebit

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Alex,

I can tell you are very serious about God's direction. I have a similar circumstance. Sometimes I hear God not only directly but many times through friends and His word. I think it is healthy thing to desire a mate - but to have wisdom is better than not. Wisdom derived from God's word gives me direction and helps me rightly divide the truth. Paul says that singleness is for devotion to God in Chapter 7 of Corithians. He also promotes marriage. Marriage is a good thing too! But I have never heard or been taught a middle ground. Either one is serious about being devoted soley to God or one desires marriage. Unfortunately our culture discourages marrage and no wonder we have trouble with all the sexaul sin this nation faces. Marriage is a beautiful thing and God doesn't really put that much prerequisit to marriage. Many people want to add allot hoops and hurdles like college, career, dating experience, marry in your late twenties. Paul puts it bluntly: It is better to marry than to burn. I personally believe that many young singles struggle unfortunately to lust because they are going through all the hoops and hurdles first before they concider marriage. I have been blessed to see many young marriages and I do hope for that myself. Chapter 7 really gives direction.

I am glad you care enough to seek prayer. Alex I will pray for you.
 
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onebit

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Alex I like your laughing smily! I just want to encourage you that if you like this person, just get to know them. Spend time with other beleivers and truly have fun. I would encourage you to be careful about being alone together. I have seen stronge people fall unfortunately. I think dating is a wordly idea too. I have lived 23 years of my life as a non christian and I tend think that dating is alot of emotional envolvment for something less than marriage. Paul does say that it is not good that a man should touch a woman. I once had a good mentor of mine give me some sound advice in the form of a word picture. He likened that putting yourself in a situation that you might fall to fornication is like putting an open bag of flour near an open flame. The situation looks harmless and danger doesn't seem present. The flour by itself is useful and not harmful. So also is the flame. But given the right breeze and the two unite it can be extremely dangerous. As the truth is: Paul writes to flee fornication and he goes on to give solutions in that chapter. One is not to touch a woman. I would say that dating like most people view dating which is harmless attachment can grow to be painful. That is why I will leave all the emotional and physical adventure to marraige and just truly get to know the person as a freind first. That all makes pretty good sence. Some things are best when they waited apon. Don't read me wrong I am including all things in this discussion not just sex. I would say that a simple kiss is something worth waiting for.

Take care Alex and God's blessing your way!
 
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tapero

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Dear Father in Heaven,

I pray for Alex in this situation. Please give him guidance and wisdom in this matter. Please give him rest so that he can focus on you, and give him patience in the time of not knowing what to do. May your will be clear to him. Please keep him safe and watch over him. Thank you Lord, In Jesus Name I pray. Amen.
 
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John 15:13

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Be careful. Been there done that. Pending a possible divorce because of it.

Ask yourself this question: "If....If God were to say NO, would you hear him?"

I didn't because I prayed so earnestly...Who was I kidding. I knew when I was praying that it was only a matter of time before I made my move. You see, I was honestly praying for God's will. But I was praying that he would make his will match mine. I wasn't praying that He would make my will match his. Even when I did, I was so eager to begin a relationship that I completely and totally ignored God's voice.

Just a warning.
 
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Cat59

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Advice directly from God about what to do in this situation
-Comfort and stregth to accept His decision if this is not meant to be, and to love Him just the same
-An ability to cope with the not knowing, until I do

Sleep! I'm constantly tired and need an ability to let go and to relax, and just to focus entirely on God.
Praying for you!
Cat
 
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ab1385

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Thanks all for your prayers!

iimefsgt said:
Be careful. Been there done that. Pending a possible divorce because of it.

Ask yourself this question: "If....If God were to say NO, would you hear him?"

I didn't because I prayed so earnestly...Who was I kidding. I knew when I was praying that it was only a matter of time before I made my move. You see, I was honestly praying for God's will. But I was praying that he would make his will match mine. I wasn't praying that He would make my will match his. Even when I did, I was so eager to begin a relationship that I completely and totally ignored God's voice.

Just a warning.

Thing is, I can't hear God saying 'yes' or 'no' to me. If He were to say no, then I like to think that I would be able to accept it, much as I wouldn't understand. I would just like to know what He does want me to do about it, whether it's talk to her, or get over it, I can't keep on doing nothing and waiting for the future to happen, it just doesn't feel like the right thing to do.

Surely God does have an opinion on what I should do in this? Why is He holding back on me?
 
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ab1385

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Thanks guys, every prayer is appreciated!

Just to clarify, I'm not after dating her now in the house, I don't think that would be wise. What I want to know is whether to talk to her, so that maybe next (academic) year when we may not be living together, something might come of it, and just so I can clear my mind of all the confusion.
 
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