Getting past heartbreak / not trying to save people

[Michelle1]

From a Christian perspective, have you experienced the compulsion to try to "save" people?
What about when this compulsion seems to enable unhealthy relationships?

I was stolen from and ghosted last month by a boyfriend of nearly 2 yrs. Looking back, many red flags. He told me a story of childhood traumas (which now I question if any of it was true) and I tried to compensate for his upbringing by mothering him in a way. I still have a desire to reach out on Christmas or his birthday and wish him well and remind him God loves him. I've had a similar experience before with another previous failed relationship. Why do I have a desire to keep giving time, energy, emotion to someone who used me and threw me away? Is it Christian to leave the door open? Or it is more biblical to block and cut all possible contact?

Any thougths are appreciated.

 

[caffeinated hermit]

It really, really depends on the situation. However... I have noticed that many Christians struggle with what a psychologist might call "healthy boundaries". We think "turn the other cheek" must mean "allow people to mistreat you, and then invite them back into your life". That is usually not healthy, or wise.

The Wise Men fled from King Herod (and even lied to him to sneak out of the Holy Land and back to Iran), and David fled from Saul once Saul went nuts. It's ok to let people go once you've realized they're abusive and just trying to mess with your head. It's our job to care for and help people when we're able to, and it's ok (and safe) to let people go when things become dangerous or damaging.

It's God's job to save people. It's ours to follow Christ and be faithful to Him, and part of this means understanding when He's taking someone out of our lives, for our benefit.