Getting Over Him

[Nataly87]

Its been 2 months, since my break up with my ex-Boyfriend, him and I having been together for 1 year. We fought a lot, but had good times and bad times too. But lately it has been a bit hard for me to not think about him. I did look at his social media pages, and its been hard getting him out of my head. I am trying my best to move on and find someone else though and not think about him. But again it is hard. This situation has made my anxiety and depression, going up and down on and off and that sucks as well. A lot of stress is upon me and I wish it could all just disappear, but I know thats impossible haha. Perhaps some of you guys, can help me out and pray for me, and help me get through this? I really am in a bad time and need the help to get through this tough time for me. I want to move on and get better and be happy again, but I am having so much trouble too. Please help much appreciated.

 

[Sketcher]

First things first, unsubscribe from his news feed. The less you see him, the less it hurts you.

 

[E.C.]

Unsubscribe from the news feed and pray. I always took my last breakups as a way of taking much needed me time.

Find a new hobby. Try new stuff. Spend time with family. If you're in school, focus on that a little more. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, animal shelter or read for the blind. With a breakup there is now some time in your life that is freed up. Fill it with something positive.

 

[Farine]

Hi Nataly,
You have some great advice given already. After I read what E.C. and Sketcher had written, more exertion was required.

Getting the full information about your experiences from what you write alone has some disadvantages. A lot of information is non verbal.. tone, facial features, posture, even how fast you breathe. Your use of language from that paragraph has 8 references to how you feel.

You mentioned anxiety. My guess is that your breathing is often fast and shallow. How you breath is something you have conscious control over. Something as simple as taking slower, deeper breaths helps.

The loss of a relationship is a significant loss. I'm sorry that you are in pain and experiencing this. Like it or not, you're grieving. How you respond to this loss makes a big difference to the success of your next relationship.

Let me sum up. What you are dealing with is complex with a lot of moving parts. There's probably a nutritional aspect too and a financial one and a faith element as you wonder where God is in all this. I believe wisdom lies in taking a panoramic view of the whole thing, bringing this to God and getting specific priorities about each portion of the puzzle from Godly counsel and your prayer time with Jesus. (Exercise, journaling, art, new coping skills, a good book, a hot bath aren't bad ideas either)

 

[Rasnosauj]

There's a man out there that won't fight or argue. It's cool you moved on. When you want to check his social media pages, you should message a new man. Trust me, knowing a good man will make you forget about those that aren't

 

[helen shin]

unless there is any reason you two should not get back together, I think it is okay for you to improve your relationship with him.. but if you don't think he is the one for you, well it will pass soon. try to focus on some other things such as your work, new hobby, or even other friends. Personally getting rid of everything that can remind me of that person helped a little..
If you believe that forgetting him is right thing to do, don't hesitate and stop thinking about him!

 

[mahlalie]

So 7 years ago was the worst time of my life. In the space of about six months, my band fell apart, the church I was heavily involved with dissolved, my college dropped my program about a semester before graduation, I lost my job, I totalled my car, and worst of all, my girlfriend of three and a half years who I was certain I was going to marry dumped me.

I cried every day for weeks. I had no appetite. I probably lost 20 lbs (I wish I could do that right now lol). I would just sink into depressive moments. It was awful. After fighting that depression for months, I formed a plan of action. It may sound a little cheesy and cliché, but for one month, I listened to nothing but worship music, and any time a thought of her even started to creep into my head, I started praying, praising, and worshipping God. Just deliberately setting my thoughts on Him any time my mind started going to a dark place.

I never had to fight depression after that month. Sure, there were sad moments. There were moments when I would wish we were together again. It took me a couple years to even desire someone else. But several years later, I met my amazing wife and am so grateful my ex dumped me.

I don't know how your story will play out. But that is how I handled it, and it worked amazingly well for me.